Special Friend

[Santoro]

Well, there is this girl I've known for about 4 years, I've known her through all the bf's she has had, which was only 3, oh by the way were now 18, well she turns 19 on thursday, but i've known her all through highschool.

We can talk to each other real easily, it seems she can talk to me about anything, and she does. Recentley I'm starting to have feelings for her, and there more than just friends feelings of course. I am real nice to her, I take her out to eat, we always hang out, and so on. But being its her birthday what I want to do is send her roses on the day of her b day, then later in the night, I was planning on taking her out to eat. There was this real nice place I was taken to on my birthday and the owner of the place came and sang happy birthday to me, lol. Its a nice place though, live music and everything. So I was thinking maybe have something like that done, what do you think? Anything else I could add to this night?

I'm really not to sure how she feels about me though, thats the problem. I dont want to make a fool of myself, by doing something wrong with her. So I figured I'd come here to ask for anyones advice on this whole subject. What else should I do with her? What should I say, and so on. I want to sort of hint to her that I'm starting to have feelings for her, but not make it to obvious, or seem on her back to much, you know?

I'd really appreciate any advice anyone has to give. Thanks!

[Cybog]

As far as you being afraid of "doing something wrong with her", taking her out to dinner for her birthday isn't a bad gesture. Roses might be a bit too much though if you guys aren't "together".

Chances are you have fallen into the "Just Friends" zone from which there can be no hope. If you guys really are that close of friends, then you shouldn't have any problems with simply talking to her about her feelings for you, or whether or not there are any.

Two things will happen if you do it, however.

1. You find out that she doesn't have "those feelings" for you, and wants to be just friends. Things get "weird" after you talk about it, and your friendship gets "weird".

2. You find out that she likes you too, you guys date, get married in a few years, 2.6 kids, white picket fence, etc....happily ever after...blah blah...

It's up to you as to whether or not you want to risk having things "weird" between the two of you, or just keep it casual as friends.

Personally though, (don't take this the wrong way) but any guy that is finally willing to put the moves on a girl he has known for over 4 years sounds pretty pathetic. Chances are you haven't really dated much (if ever), are a virgin, and have always been considered a "Nice guy" and that's about it. You probably consider yourself a romantic at heart, have a younger brother or sister, and consider yourself closer to your mother than your dad.

Am I close on any of those?

[Santoro]

As far as you being afraid of "doing something wrong with her", taking her out to dinner for her birthday isn't a bad gesture. Roses might be a bit too much though if you guys aren't "together".

Chances are you have fallen into the "Just Friends" zone from which there can be no hope. If you guys really are that close of friends, then you shouldn't have any problems with simply talking to her about her feelings for you, or whether or not there are any.

Two things will happen if you do it, however.

1. You find out that she doesn't have "those feelings" for you, and wants to be just friends. Things get "weird" after you talk about it, and your friendship gets "weird".

2. You find out that she likes you too, you guys date, get married in a few years, 2.6 kids, white picket fence, etc....happily ever after...blah blah...

It's up to you as to whether or not you want to risk having things "weird" between the two of you, or just keep it casual as friends.

Personally though, (don't take this the wrong way) but any guy that is finally willing to put the moves on a girl he has known for over 4 years sounds pretty pathetic. Chances are you haven't really dated much (if ever), are a virgin, and have always been considered a "Nice guy" and that's about it. You probably consider yourself a romantic at heart, have a younger brother or sister, and consider yourself closer to your mother than your dad.

Am I close on any of those?

Well that last paragraph I disagree on lol. None of that is true. Well when I said I've known her for the last 4 years she has had a boyfriend, she only had 3 boyfriends in, 1 in each year, I liked her from the beginning but she was dating some guy, which lasted maybe a bit longer than a year, then maybe a few months after that she'd meet someone else.

Back then when I first knew her I never did any of this stuff to show her that I had feelings for her, cause she always had a boyfriend, or just got out of a relationship, and I wouldn't want to just jump right in, you know?

I just sort of layed low, and came out as helpful as I could when she had problems with guys or whatever.