What do men in relationships really think when watching porn?

[tremolo]

Honestly, I think women make life easier on themselves when they accept that porn is at a point where guys will gather around their phones and share videos.

Although it makes me crazy to think my partner needs or wants to get off on other women than me, I'm of the opinion, I guess, that as long as he is conscientious enough to hide it is so well it is as if it does not exist, then I can deal. As long as he is conscientious enough to watch it when I am not around, as long as he doesn't store it anywhere and is kind enough to clear his browsing history and cache, then I can keep my mouth shut. But when it gets to the point that it interferes with our sex life (i.e., I want sex and can't get it because he's spent himself on other women), or where he expects me to accept it, cope with it, encourage his porn viewing - I can't do that. I think it's hurtful and disrespectful.

[HeartIsAching]

I would be seriously offended if my partner could have sex with me whenever he wanted and chose to watch porn instead of be with me. I would be massively, massively offended.

Then you've got security issues. Lots of people do.

There is NEVER a time when my wife wants sex and I'm unwilling to oblige, and vice versa. We're very in synch that way though... usually one of us will say "Hey, I was thinking that there was time for a romp before dinner" (or whatever) and the other will go "Uh huh, I was just thinking that."

I used to have a serious porn habit, but then, I wasn't getting any. Nowadays, I get sex pretty much as much as I can handle (2 or 3 times a day) and rarely look at porn... still happens once in a while though.

[MaidenMinx]

Nice to hear Tremolo. That's my view point too.

[tremolo]

Then you've got security issues. Lots of people do.

Perhaps I do, but I think it's also a respect issue. Like, I'm supposed to be okay with him going, 'Honey, you're not really doing it for me tonight. I'm gonna go look at some other chicks and get off myself.'

That's seriously hurtful.

[HeartIsAching]

Perhaps I do, but I think it's also a respect issue. Like, I'm supposed to be okay with him going, 'Honey, you're not really doing it for me tonight. I'm gonna go look at some other chicks and get off myself.'

That's seriously hurtful.

Then you're looking at it wrong. Looking at porn has absolutely NOTHING to do with how well my wife "does it" for me. She "does it" for me like nobody ever has. She's the sexiest, most beautiful woman ever, in my book.

[tremolo]

Then you're looking at it wrong. Looking at porn has absolutely NOTHING to do with how well my wife "does it" for me. She "does it" for me like nobody ever has. She's the sexiest, most beautiful woman ever, in my book.

Yeah. I don't understand that at all. I mean - if that's true, then I don't understand why you'd even be interested in watching.

[HeartIsAching]

Consider it one of the mysteries between genders.

I have a question for you: Do you read romance novels?

[tremolo]

No, I do not

[tremolo]

I also think that's a bad analogy... but we'll agree to disagree!

[Sonrisa]

i am a porn addict and what does it for me is that there's no hassle of trying to satisfy someone

[HeartIsAching]

I also think that's a bad analogy... but we'll agree to disagree!

Romance novels are porn directed at women. Men in general are much more visually oriented and stimulated than women are. There's nothing wrong with women reading them, it doesn't necessarily mean their man doesn't "do it" for them.

[tremolo]

Romance novels are porn directed at women. Men in general are much more visually oriented and stimulated than women are. There's nothing wrong with women reading them, it doesn't necessarily mean their man doesn't "do it" for them.

Yeah, but romance novels don't really raise any ethical problems while porn is mired in it. Also, the fantasy of romance novels relies on fictional characters - not real individuals, as in porn. That's why I think it's a bad analogy. But you're right - women crave love, men crave sex. I just find it disappointing that men seem to need it from women other than their partner - whether in images or in person.

[HeartIsAching]

Yeah, but romance novels don't really raise any ethical problems while porn is mired in it. Also, the fantasy of romance novels relies on fictional characters - not real individuals, as in porn. That's why I think it's a bad analogy. But you're right - women crave love, men crave sex. I just find it disappointing that men seem to need it from women other than their partner - whether in images or in person.

When was the last time you read a romance novel? They're not love, they're porn. I'm fine with that. Wife reads 'em once in a while (not often) and she says the same thing. I don't look at porn much anymore either, but it still happens once in a while. A great deal of that is (and yes, you're right in that regard) that my love life with my wife is very fulfilling. And tiring, LOL.

[tremolo]

Well, I think I already said I don't read them. Haha. But ok - literotica is fine with me.

Anyway, I obviously have problems with porn, but I think as long as my partner only rarely watched and, as I said, made sure I never even suspected he did, I could deal.

[doppelgaenger]

Man. I would have sex with my partner as many times as he wanted. He would never be able to use that excuse. Haha.

This leads to boredom. Sometimes people just need to masturbate and not concern themselves with pleasing someone else. Think of porn as a masturbation aid.

Although it makes me crazy to think my partner needs or wants to get off on other women than me, I'm of the opinion, I guess, that as long as he is conscientious enough to hide it is so well it is as if it does not exist, then I can deal. As long as he is conscientious enough to watch it when I am not around, as long as he doesn't store it anywhere and is kind enough to clear his browsing history and cache, then I can keep my mouth shut. But when it gets to the point that it interferes with our sex life (i.e., I want sex and can't get it because he's spent himself on other women), or where he expects me to accept it, cope with it, encourage his porn viewing - I can't do that. I think it's hurtful and disrespectful.

How come when a guy gets in a relationship, he has to start pretending that other women aren't pretty? In a world where priests rape altar boys, how can you expect ordinary men to cast a blind eye to attraction? How can you be offended by something natural that makes people happy?

Perhaps I do, but I think it's also a respect issue. Like, I'm supposed to be okay with him going, 'Honey, you're not really doing it for me tonight. I'm gonna go look at some other chicks and get off myself.'

That's seriously hurtful.

That's not really what a guy is thinking when he wants to watch porn. No, it's more like "Hmm, I wanna watch some porn." Gee, no wonder you get offended by the idea of it. Maybe if you stop assuming that your boyfriend is not sexually aroused by you anymore, then you won't feel so bad. You know that this attitude women have is actually unattractive. What really turns me on is when woman doesn't give a shit about whether or not I watch porn. She's going to do what she wants anyway, even if that means handcuffing me to the bed and having it her way. When you puss out and start crying about wahhh, he watches porno, that's nothing but a turn off!

Watching it together can be fun.

Yeah, but how do you find something that girls would like?