What do men in relationships really think when watching porn?

[KingZ]

How come when a guy gets in a relationship, he has to start pretending that other women aren't pretty? In a world where priests rape altar boys, how can you expect ordinary men to cast a blind eye to attraction?

Shut the fu​ck up.

[doppelgaenger]

Shut the fu​ck up.

That's right, boy, vent that anger and frustration. It's not your fault!

[VincenzoG91]

Yeah, but how do you find something that girls would like?

Softcore porn (no visible penetration) is a safe bet. They can't possibly be making those movies for just guys to watch.

[Wakeup]

Go to the Couples section of your local Adult Video store. There's usually some tenderness involved, more kissing and less acrobatics. The woman tends to STFU with the sccreeeaming and false moaning crap as well. That kinda acting can scare a gals vagina.

[tremolo]

This leads to boredom. Sometimes people just need to masturbate and not concern themselves with pleasing someone else. Think of porn as a masturbation aid.

I don't have a problem with my partner masturbating - I have a problem with porn.

How come when a guy gets in a relationship, he has to start pretending that other women aren't pretty? How can you be offended by something natural that makes people happy?

I never said that and I don't have a problem with my partner being attracted to other women. What matters to me is what my partner does with that attraction. I think it's problematic when a guy neglects his partner to go ruminate about other women in a sexual way - and all the more so when he makes this obvious to his partner and expects her to be okay with it.

I wouldn't expect any guy who is super into porn to agree with me - that's just how I feel about it.

[VincenzoG91]

I don't have a problem with my partner masturbating - I have a problem with porn.

Guys tend to rely on porn while masturbating. C'mon, admit it... it would be way creepier if your guy was whacking off while looking at Picasso paintings or reading the bible or watching Monday Night Football.

[tremolo]

Don't you guys have this amazing mental store of visual images?

I'd prefer y'all used that

[VincenzoG91]

Guys like variety in the visual images. We can get that variety easily from porn. Or we can waste money at strip clubs or with prostitutes. Or cheat with other women. Of all those options, porn is the one that you should find the least objectionable. That's assuming of course that the porn isn't illegal or particularly disgusting or interfering with his performance in bed.

[Wakeup]

Don't you guys have this amazing mental store of visual images?

I'd prefer y'all used that

You are thinking like a girl. That's what girls do, use their imaginary images and that's why Romance Novel sales are a Multi-million dollar enterprise. Guys need to "see" not conjure up.

I've never been jealous or felt threatened about my husbands porn mags or online "favourites." I think when you're in a relationship where you're secure and you know you're being valued and the porn isn't interfereing with your own sexual relationship then you'll not put so much importance on where he gets his personal stimulation from.

People will masturbate even if they are getting sex two or three times a day. It's a separate and private time that takes nothing away from how he feels or is attracted to you. Even animals masturbate. Remind me to tell you about our masturbating budgie some time... what an embarassment during formal dinner parties. lol

I don't have a problem with my partner masturbating - I have a problem with porn.

I'm not so presumptuous to think that he should get his visual masturbation stimulation from only me. It's kinda selfish to ask that he only look at me too. Being sexually monogamous is enough to ask and expect of anyone. IMO.

[tremolo]

I've never been jealous or felt threatened about my husbands porn mags or online "favourites." I think when you're in a relationship where you're secure and you know you're being valued and the porn isn't interfereing with your own sexual relationship then you'll not put so much importance on where he gets his personal stimulation from.

Try as I might - and I've tried - I don't know that I will ever get to the point where I don't feel devalued by a man's porn habit. I feel like if he desperately wants or *needs* stimulation from other women, then it doesn't matter whether he gets sex from me or not. He might as well be ****ing anyone. It also makes me feel like he'd happily give me up in a second if he were given the chance to sleep with any of those other women. And I do feel a bit like they are the 'other women'. I know all the guys here will say that's a stupid way to think about things, but that's genuinely how it seems to me.

Remind me to tell you about our masturbating budgie some time... what an embarassment during formal dinner parties. lol

Your masturbating what?

[VincenzoG91]

Try as I might - and I've tried - I don't know that I will ever get to the point where I don't feel devalued by a man's porn habit. I feel like if he desperately wants or *needs* stimulation from other women, then it doesn't matter whether he gets sex from me or not. He might as well be ****ing anyone. It also makes me feel like he'd happily give me up in a second if he were given the chance to sleep with any of those other women. And I do feel a bit like they are the 'other women'. I know all the guys here will say that's a stupid way to think about things, but that's genuinely how it seems to me.

Look at it this way, he is choosing to fantasize about unavailable, unattainable women, instead of sneaking around and getting physically and emotionally involved with real women.

[tremolo]

Look at it this way, he is choosing to fantasize about unavailable, unattainable women, instead of sneaking around and getting physically and emotionally involved with real women.

Is that really supposed to make me feel better? Like, I am so sexually inferior that he has to indulge in porn to live out his dream of being with unavailable, unattainable (i.e., superior) women? I think I would rather be single and sexless than be with someone with such a low conception of me.

I mean, that kind of smacks of 'Well, since I can't have who I really want, tremolo will do.' I am not okay with that.

[Wakeup]

My masturbating pet Budgie Bird. He was yellow and green, quite the studly little cookie, he loved to look at his own reflection in the mirror in his cage and rub one out.
How would you feel if your guy looked at his own refelction and rubbed one out? Would you be less threatened that way?

Anyway, Heres a different way to look at it that may help you to wrap your head around it so that you don't get insecure and needy about porn. As we all know that we're wired to procreate. That's why orgasms feel so good. If they were'nt so awesome, we'd not care about spreading the seed and having babies. (not just men and that fact should never be used for an excuse for bad behaviour as we have afterall evolved.) but, church and society recently demanded that having more than one wife was against the law because it was putting an embalance on property gained through dowry and the crown couldn't have the subjects owning more land then the king so the church deemed it immoral and the government deemed it illegal.

Men enjoy looking at more than one woman many women these days feel the same about looking at other men. IMO, it's selfish and self absorbed to think that you can satisfy his need for visual variety particularily when he's wired to pursue more than one. The least we as their primary mate can do is let them look and enjoy while being sexually monogamous with us. The porn is his personal fantasy and it's not an issue as long as he's not addicted to it and would rather rub one out all the time then take the time to sexually bond with you. If he's enjoying his private time more than his couple time... well then yes, I think anyone would be threatened by that.

[VincenzoG91]

Is that really supposed to make me feel better? Like, I am so sexually inferior that he has to indulge in porn to live out his dream of being with unavailable, unattainable (i.e., superior) women? I think I would rather be single and sexless than be with someone with such a low conception of me.

I mean, that kind of smacks of 'Well, since I can't have who I really want, tremolo will do.' I am not okay with that.

You've got it backwards. He is choosing to fantasize about the unattainable women because they pose no threat to your relationship. It's harmless fantasy, like you picturing George Clooney when you close your eyes during sex. A real threat to your relationship would be if he was masturbating to naked pictures of women that they personally sent to him via texting or email. Or looking at online escort ads. That would be him fantasizing about women that he could actually end up cheating with.

In terms of your quote, it means "Well, since I truly value my relationship with tremolo, these fake-looking unattainable porn stars will have to do for my special alone time."

[Wakeup]

Is that really supposed to make me feel better? Like, I am so sexually inferior that he has to indulge in porn to live out his dream of being with unavailable, unattainable (i.e., superior) women?

Why do you automatically assume that he thinks they are superior. Looks aren't everything you know. Just because they have big fake boobs and butt cheek implants and ribs removed to obtain a smaller waist size doesn't mean much it's a visual afterall.

You put yourself as being inferior to them, not him.