What do men in relationships really think when watching porn?

[pisces25]

I had an ex tell me once, in a thinly veiled way, that I was so substandard all he could think about when we were intimate was how inadequate I am, and how much better he could do.

I think that has permanently scarred me. I always assume men are thinking of other women when they're with me now.

The problem is you have believed him when he said this. This indicates you have probably had image problems in the past so this was kind of just confirming what you think about yourself. I have been in the same boat. Get a healtht dose of self-esteem and a comment like that will go in one ear and out the other.

[MaidenMinx]

I really ought to send him an invoice for my therapy sessions. lol

I'd be bloody tempted if I were you! But then I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to me.

I do agree with pisces that the impact of his statement is linked to self esteem. With work and luck, one day you'll be able to look back on that jerk and realise he had no idea what he was on about.

[pisces25]

I really ought to send him an invoice for my therapy sessions. lol

Don't worry if he needs a 'super hot' woman to feel good about himself then he probably needs therapy too.

[tremolo]

Don't worry if he needs a 'super hot' woman to feel good about himself then he probably needs therapy too.

Although I'm quite serious that it scarred me - and you're right that I had issues before that, having been a bit of an ugly duckling - it's kind of hilarious to me now. He was, by far, the least attractive of my exes, and probably the luckiest to have been with me.

[VincenzoG91]

I had an ex tell me once, in a thinly veiled way, that I was so substandard all he could think about when we were intimate was how inadequate I am, and how much better he could do.

I think that has permanently scarred me. I always assume men are thinking of other women when they're with me now.

He was a blind fool to say that to you, and deserved only scorn and rejection. He is probably sobbing facedown in a puddle of beer right now, sorry that he left you.

[pisces25]

That's what I was thinking... wonder what he is up to now?

[tremolo]

He was a blind fool to say that to you, and deserved only scorn and rejection. He is probably sobbing facedown in a puddle of beer right now, sorry that he left you.

Yeah. After he said that, I said he'd better be breaking up with me, because I was never going to be intimate with him again. We broke up, I left England, and six months later he wrote my mother telling her the last six months had been the worst of his life. I think he definitely had regrets about that - and I had absolutely none.

(For the record, that is not why he broke up with me. But it was the worst of several horrible things he said during our breakup.)

[Katmeow85]

I put my sexy nightie on last night to entice my bf but nothing. I even tried to make my way to his manhood he stopped me. He held my hand instead. He was quite ill with bad eczema. He used to want me even when this was the case. Its been 2 and a half weeks since we had sex. I know he has masterbated cause i caught him. I think he must be doing this more than me. It hurts. Im really kinky with a high sex drive. I dont feel sexy or wanted. I remember when he was with his ex and we were friends and he complained he wasnt getting enough with her. Maybe im just not attractive enough. We used to do it 3 times a day, then 3 times a week, to once a week and now once a fortnight. It isnt helping my self-esteem at all. I know he loves me butaybe not enough.

[DannyH]

What do men in relationships really think when watching porn?

When is my girl getting out of work? I guess this is better then the svu marathon. Why is there a cat walking on the couch in the background. Yeah because stripper poles in the house stay up that well. Well damn swings aren't just for kids. I think I need mini fridge. That poor poor pool table. Bahah that guy is doing it wrong. Did they really need to make a porno for left 4 dead. I think I could go for some pumpkin pie. When is my girl gonna get home? I hope they fall off the bed. I really hope they fall. I would not want to clean that pool. I think I saw her on the maury show. I think we gotta take a trip to the porn shop when she gets home. Live goldfish in her shoes?!? Man I wish there was something on tv. She should kick him in the nuts for that. When is my girl gonna get home damnit. I don't think our table could handle that much movement. Whats the score to the pats game? whoo my girls home time to jump her.

lol pretty much a boredom thing for me

[Katmeow85]

Igot sick of waiting for him to jump me so i started playing with him when he was asleep and yep we did it. I told hime we need to do it more and he reassured me we have sex more than he masterbates. Im still insecure but hope itll get better now.

[tremolo]

You should really sit him down and have a serious talk with him, Kat.

[Wakeup]

That's what I was thinking... wonder what he is up to now?

He's likely the Grand Master at this years Pride Parade.

[Katmeow85]

We have had a chat but he has no emotional intelligence. He doesn't realise that if he gets angry or raises his voice it upsets me. He is a good guy but sometimes doesnt realise I need him and only sees his problems. I think he is gonna really try to reassure me that I am what he wants. He started yesterday by taking me out, having lunch and took me shopping and paid for everything. Then we played on the xbox together killing zombies. He even helped with our son more than usual. He is really making an effort because he realises how hurt I am and doesn't want me and him to be unhappy.

[DannyH]

He was a blind fool to say that to you, and deserved only scorn and rejection. He is probably sobbing facedown in a puddle of beer right now, sorry that he left you.

You forgot about him holding a bag of frozen peas to some part of his face. Guys who talk like he does have a habit of running their mouths at the wrong time and place.

[Yarbles]

Looking at porn is just an expression of all guys' desire for variety. Even if I'm dating the hottest girl in the city, a perfect 10, the kind that all other women HATE because she's so beautiful, guess what I will STILL look at other women. That's just the way it is. It doesn't necessarily mean he does not find you attractive. It does not mean he's in love with some porn star. It does not mean anything, other than he's a normal guy. I know it makes some women insecure but looking at porn is not intended in any way as a judgement on your physical attractiveness.