What do men in relationships really think when watching porn?

[Bonfire]

What a hoot. The only guy in the entire thread who confesses that he only looks at the girl he's in love with never plans on marrying.

Yea. Because marriage bonds two people together for life, doesn't it? I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I love my girl. I know most people out there needs to validate their relationships or themselves with marriage but I simply don't. I could be with the same girl for life even without the legal binding of marriage. And I should mention I don't plan to have kids either. So marriage becomes even less important. If my relationship doesn't work out, we can split without much hassle. Now you get my reasoning?

Trem.. I think you're fighting a losing battle with yourself. Try to stop your mind from making you jealous over strangers with fake boobs.

I don't get this last bit. Jealous over strangers with fake boobs? Huh? Lol First off real boobs beats fake boobs. Secondly, I can't help it when I am in love, the girl who I am in love with is all I care about looking at. It's like I have this tunnel vision. Yea I know it sounds corny but that's just how it is for me.

[Wakeup]

Yea. Because marriage bonds two people together for life, doesn't it? I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I love my girl.

My point: I do believe that Tremolo is the type of woman that will definately want to be married and have children. You can know all you want but i think that more women then not still have the goal to be in a traditional marriage.

Now you get my reasoning?

Oh, I got your meaning immediately ... even before your rexplanation

I don't get this last bit. Jealous over strangers with fake boobs? Huh? Lol First off real boobs beats fake boobs. Secondly, I can't help it when I am in love, the girl who I am in love with is all I care about looking at. It's like I have this tunnel vision. Yea I know it sounds corny but that's just how it is for me.

The last bit was directed to Tremolo... not you, Bonfire. it is painful for her to have the mindset that she has. My solution is for her to try her best to overcome that mindset so that she's no longer jealous of woman of porn and their fake boobs. She's much more desireable to most men as a life partner than any porn star would ever be.

[smackie9]

If it was just in his head, I wouldn't mind. When it's on the computer, in magazines, in HD.... then I get upset.

Men have a sex drive that is 1000 more stronger than yours. It's instinctive to look, admire and desire, BUT there is a difference....there isn't emotional attachment to it. Once you get into your 40's this will all make sense to you, but for now...you can't imagine why because you think like a girl. Girls think about everything with some kind of emotional attachment. Guys do NOT imagine being married to these girls or love them or want a future with them...it's just images, body parts, that's it. They save their love and desire to share their live with the women they love.....those images are just visual stimulation....masturbating into a frenzy is just a part of who they are.

[VincenzoG91]

Yea. Because marriage bonds two people together for life, doesn't it? I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I love my girl. I know most people out there needs to validate their relationships or themselves with marriage but I simply don't. I could be with the same girl for life even without the legal binding of marriage. And I should mention I don't plan to have kids either. So marriage becomes even less important. If my relationship doesn't work out, we can split without much hassle. Now you get my reasoning?

At some point, it makes sense to seriously commit to a long-term relationship. If you're not willing to make it legally binding, why should any woman trust you? You are apparently constantly ready to jump ship as soon as you meet somebody better. What a sad, empty life that will be for you as you get older.

[tremolo]

My point: I do believe that Tremolo is the type of woman that will definately want to be married and have children. You can know all you want but i think that more women then not still have the goal to be in a traditional marriage.

I want to be married someday, but I don't want children.

The last bit was directed to Tremolo... not you, Bonfire. it is painful for her to have the mindset that she has. My solution is for her to try her best to overcome that mindset so that she's no longer jealous of woman of porn and their fake boobs. She's much more desireable to most men as a life partner than any porn star would ever be.

It's not that I'm jealous of porn stars. I find them generally unattractive, uninspiring, and completely skanky - which, for me, is not a virtue. What bothers me is that men are so infatuated with them.

[smackie9]

I saw an interview about a trans gender describing her experience with testosterone treatments.....she described it as an over whelming desire to **** everything in sight, and she admitted that she now understood why guy are the way they are.

[Bonfire]

My point: I do believe that Tremolo is the type of woman that will definately want to be married and have children. You can know all you want but i think that more women then not still have the goal to be in a traditional marriage.

No doubt, most girls do want that traditional marriage and family life. Hence why I am very selective in who I date because I don't want to waste anyone's time if we don't want the same thing then we are not going to be compatible. Fortunately for me I also enjoy the freedom of singlehood as it allows me to pursue my interests wholeheartedly so I'm not too concern about relationships really, but if the odd chance I meet the right girl then of course that would be awesome.

[smackie9]

I want to be married someday, but I don't want children.



It's not that I'm jealous of porn stars. I find them generally unattractive, uninspiring, and completely skanky - which, for me, is not a virtue. What bothers me is that men are so infatuated with them.

They are not infatuated with them specifically, they are infatuated with the act of sex.

[Wakeup]

I want to be married someday, but I don't want children.

Then i'm quite surprised that you thanked Bonfire for his post because it's completely against your own values, wants and desires. ???

It's not that I'm jealous of porn stars. I find them generally unattractive, uninspiring, and completely skanky - which, for me, is not a virtue. What bothers me is that men are so infatuated with them.

You may find them unattractive, uninspiring and completely skanky but you're still jealous or threatened by them or this thread wouldn't have grown to the size it is. I'm also confused at your reply here as well. If you find them all those negative things, why are you threatened when your partner masturbates to them? As mentioned before, unless he's rubbing one off and leaving you high and dry, one would think you'd not even think about what he does while enjoying his free time.

Anyway: It's going to be a few years before you are accepting of your man doing what most (if not all) men do even while in a loving, happy relationship so I won't try to ease your fears any more.

Cheers.

[tremolo]

Men have a sex drive that is 1000 more stronger than yours. It's instinctive to look, admire and desire, BUT there is a difference....there isn't emotional attachment to it...Guys do NOT imagine being married to these girls or love them or want a future with them...it's just images, body parts, that's it. They save their love and desire to share their live with the women they love.....those images are just visual stimulation....masturbating into a frenzy is just a part of who they are.

Yeah, I hear this all the time. First, I can honestly say that no ex-boyfriend of mine has had a higher sex drive than I do. But regardless, it doesn't make me feel better that guys want to bang porn stars and not marry or love them. For me, you might as well say, 'Honey, go sleep with all the women you want since it doesn't actually mean anything and you don't have feelings for them.'

[Bonfire]

At some point, it makes sense to seriously commit to a long-term relationship. If you're not willing to make it legally binding, why should any woman trust you? You are apparently constantly ready to jump ship as soon as you meet somebody better. What a sad, empty life that will be for you as you get older.

If a women knows me well enough, she will know she can trust me. If her trust is base on a piece of legally binding paper, then she is only fooling herself. Without diving into the details of my life, I know it sounds odd to most of the population who relies on relationship as the main source of fulfillment. But the strange thing is as I got older I realize it's the opposite for me. When I was younger I used to put everything aside for love. I was that gullible guy who thought love was above all. But it really isn't all life offers. It's definitely one of the best thing to experience in life for sure. And I understand completely why everyone wants that. And I do too. But as odd as it may sound to you, but I absolutely don't need it to feel happy. When you love yourself and what you have accomplish in your life, you have a sense of self worth that will never leave you feeling empty inside. Some day as you grow older you may see it from my perspective.

[tremolo]

You may find them unattractive, uninspiring and completely skanky but you're still jealous or threatened by them or this thread wouldn't have grown to the size it is. I'm also confused at your reply here as well. If you find them all those negative things, why are you threated when your partner masturbates to them? As mentioned before, unless he's rubbing one off and leaving you high and dry, one would think you'd not even think about what he does while enjoying his free time.

I am threatened and insulted because I feel that their desire to masturbate over porn stars (or any other women) rather than have sex with me is a comment on my sexual appeal. And I have been unfulfilled sexually in every relationship I've been in, so the idea that some other woman is taking away from what I would like to have is a difficult thing for me to swallow.

[VincenzoG91]

It would seem That i that s the very mindset that bonfire has. He wants to bang them but he doesn't want to commit to them. At least your partner is simply fantasizing and not living that lifestyle.

Some guys use porn when they masturbate. Bonfire uses women much the same way.

[Wakeup]

But regardless, it doesn't make me feel better that guys want to bang porn stars and not marry or love them. For me, you might as well say, 'Honey, go sleep with all the women you want since it doesn't actually mean anything and you don't have feelings for them.'

It would seem Thati that is the very mindset that bonfire has. He wants to bang them but he doesn't want to commit to them. At least your partner is simply fantasizing and not living that lifestyle.

I have been unfulfilled sexually in every relationship I've been in, so the idea that some other woman is taking away from what I would like to have is a difficult thing for me to swallow

Oh boy, that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

[tremolo]

I don't think the above comments are fair to Bonfire. I would never get involved with a man who had his mindset about marriage, but having talked quite a bit with Bonfire, I don't get the sense that he's the type of guy who you're describing.