Why are non-ghetto black men seen as very unattractive?

[DannyH]

I'll you give the insulting women part cause it really isn't all that bad. except for this part. "There are three types of white women. There are ones who are not attracted to black men. The second type is looking for a ghetto black man. The third type is looking for a non-ghetto black man." My cousins found that insulting because to them its just not the case they were attracted to their now black husbands because well they are good husbands. From the ghetto and broke out one's a teacher and the other is in the navy. Did they dress ghetto before yeah but that's not the reason that my cousins fell for their husbands.

[Incognito]

It's not a problem to say black man at all. Dumping all black man in to one stereotype though is retarded. The internet is worldwide and black men are around the world. Seriously saying African American cause you just added American to it would of made a world of difference because that would give you an area to base the culture off of. Just because something applies to some people in America doesn't mean it applies to everybody else. Don't get me wrong there are truth behind your words just gotta watch how you say things when talking to people outside of your area. Seriously come up to my old neighborhood and start calling people ghetto your gonna get shot. It's really not like an uber insult where women would get offended esp if you talk about it in the area its happening in. Since you didn't localize it though claiming all women are more likly to be attracted is an insult to some women. The white women thing what about women who are attracted to black guys who are just attractive? That's how my cousins fell their black husbands. I showed them this post and they were pissed to be labeled the way you made it. Their husbands laughed at it and pretty much called the whole post foolish. Then again all of us are not from the south. Comedians can get away with stereotypes like these because they are doing in a joking manner. Random joe trying to get advice not so much. No he isn't racist his post just had a subtle racist tone to it because of the stereotyping. Just because your not burning crosses on someones lawn doesn't automatically make you not a racist. Subtle forms of it are just as bad and far more common.


You guys didn't catch how I am with labeling stuff already in other posts

I seriously don't see why anyone should have to be politically correct in their own post. Most every black person I know (including relatives) say "black" to refer to other black people. "African American" is only used by them in professional environments because of people who cry about political correctness. It isn't anyone's job to make sure that no one gets pissed off. I'm sorry that your cousins got pissed off, and I'm sure Franklin is too, but their opinion about this doesn't matter in the slightest. He came here with a question, worded it in a non threatening and seemingly sincere way and now he's getting his balls busted about the tone of his posts. ??? Really people... Lets assume for a second that he's just a guy asking a question about a situation that he's been involved in and there is no hidden agenda or underlying racist tone.

[Incognito]

@ Franklin: Did any of what I posted earlier make any sense, or did you simply disagree? Post #9

Maybe my tone was racist?

[Franklin]

I actually think this is rather simple Franklin. The black community has created an aggressive image through various media outlets to raise the ones portraying that image above all others. If you're 'bad', that's one thing, but if you're 'badder' and will stomp, kill, and take the women of even the guys that are considered 'bad' then that's really saying something. In reality it isn't, but many (not just black people) have been duped into thinking that they should aspire to be ultra-hardcore in all respects, or that they should be with such a person (women).

The sad part is that the people (mainly music artists and sports players) who perpetuate this foolishness don't even live up to the image that they portray for the masses. They pretend to be hardcore criminals and then go home at the end of the day. So what you've got is an image that is shown to the public solely for the sake of making a dollar, and a public that is desperately trying to be that image because someone who is famous, and rich appears to be such. If rap artists and sports players wore business suits and had some class people would aspire to do the same and women would find [that] attractive. There was a time when decent men were more desirable (black, white, or otherwise), but the US culture changed.

I completely agree with you. Many black celebrities don't make things any better. They just enforce the image. Sport Players do wear business suits, mostly the white ones with the exception of Brett Favre. I don't think that the white culture has changed to the point where only one white culture is acceptable because there are many ways to be seen as white.

[DannyH]

"I seriously don't see why anyone should have to be politically correct in their own post" I used it as an exmaple of a way he could of referred to location and culture. Not because of being pc.

Culture isn't solely based on race but also by location. You change the part of the world the culture changes. It's ok to do it in your own location before of everybody knows the reference point.... right there but when you move to broader audience the wording has got to change.

It doesn't go one race one culture is what I'm getting at <---------------

My cousins I could careless if they were insulted by it but it was a reference to backup my point. and really was part trolling.

[Incognito]

"I seriously don't see why anyone should have to be politically correct in their own post" I used it as a reference to location. Not because of being pc. pretty sure you can be black man outside of the USA unless I'm mistaken?

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think most people would assume that he was talking about the black population in the US because of the country flag below his name. Oh, and yes it would be quite silly to assume that one cannot be a black man outside of the US. I have never heard of a black person refer to themselves as 'African-Australian', 'Afro-Aussie', 'African-Italian' or any other combination. That is why I couldn't figure out why it would be important for him to say "African-American" instead of black. His country flag says USA, he was referring to black people, so it is safe to assume that if he really wanted an opinion on what he posted he'd be referring to blacks in the USA. It seemed rather simple to me.

Anyone want to get this thread back on topic with responses that focus on why non ghetto black men are seen as very unattractive?

[DannyH]

why non ghetto black men are seen as very unattractive?
Generalization is false.
Doesn't take more then a few TLC songs to prove it lol

[Incognito]

-sigh- Many things are based on perspective. Ever heard the saying 'perception is reality'? I know I don't need to explain this to you since you seem very intelligent. If non ghetto black men being found unattractive has been his experience who are you (or anybody else) to dismiss it as a generalization? This isn't a thesis where he is asserting that non ghetto men being found unattractive is a universal fact. He has experienced the subject as stated in the title, thereby making it his reality, and he wanted some input regarding why.

TLC was one of the more positive female music groups, but there are/were way more female artists who rap/sing about wanting "a hard ass nigga" and all of the ignorance that goes along with the ghetto lifestyle.

Oh and DannyH, it is easier to quote someone by just hitting the 'quote' tab at the bottom of their post. It makes it easier for everyone to know who you're quoting too.

[Incognito]

Actually the tab reads 'reply with quote'.

[DannyH]

I know I only do that when it's a smaller bit I want to quote right after the original post. Replying with quote then deleting is annoying for small bits and using the forum tags to quote a part is also annoying. aka when typing I'm lazy

'perception is reality' I am actually all about it hence my whole thing about how things are worded on the internet. How you write something out shows a bit on your perception. How you describe something plays a bit part of it as well.

I've seen it as well in high school and college. It's exactly how he says... later on though when everybody grows up needs start to change and things become less about what you wear and goes more in to the traits that you have. Dressing ghetto draws attention. Its like oh shit shiny syndrome for women. You dress that way correctly your literally wearing a crap ton of money. Whose is gonna get the girl the guy wearing the 500 dollar outfit jewelery or the dude wearing the wal-mart uniform? Doesn't matter if its the ghetto style or a suit 9 times out of 10 mr wal-mart is gonna get passed by. Then you toss in the attitude of being bad ass in to the mix on top of the money... so 2 desirable traits but you don't need to dress ghetto to have them. Just by clothes alone they can determine well he has money and he maybe able to protect them right off the bat. Then again you don't have to dress ghetto to have that. Some women are more in to the popular culture which to deny that it is not is well foolish. So now you project you have money can protect and are in style. I can literally swing it either way because it's really only a style. Attraction is on another level.

[Pakistani]

Many white women are attracted to (darker skin)

[Incognito]

Some women are more in to the popular culture which to deny that it is not is well foolish. So now you project you have money can protect and are in style. I can literally swing it either way because it's really only a style. Attraction is on another level.

The younger generations don't understand this. To them attraction/popularity/style is all rolled into one. I totally disagree about the guy with the suit being as attractive to young black women as the guy with rings, chains, tattoos, and his pants falling down who drives an expensive car/SUV. The media tells them what to think and they go along with it. Well spoken, suit wearing black men don't make music videos and therefore don't have the power to set trends to the masses. The ignorant, gold front wearing, pants falling down black men are the ones making videos, selling records, setting trends and shaping the aspirations of the younger masses.

Since I did generalize young black women above, I'll add that there are always exceptions. There are young black women who have sense enough to recognize that the ghetto men may have money and demand respect, but that they are not relationship material. There are also young black men who have to wear "the walmart uniform" and are still assertive enough for sensible women to look past that. That doesn't mean that a large portion don't fit the generalization mentioned.

[Incognito]

Many white women are attracted to (darker skin)

How did this statement add anything to the discussion? It didn't.

[Pakistani]

^ it didn't add, but the statment is true

[Incognito]

I'm glad that you agree that it didn't add anything. Why don't you start your own thread about how many white women are attracted to darker skin instead of dropping into a thread and posting off topic.