The July NC Challenge

[OmnicronPercei8]

Back to ground zero. Literally feeling nothing from my ex (except maybe some animosity) I sent her an email asking how she was doing. Of course she said she missed her friend. We chatted for a while and I told her I would always be a friend to her in whatever capacity I can, but I don't want to know anything about her relationship and she said she understood. I really just wanted to know if she'd seen the doctor regarding her potential medical problem.

I cannot wait until I get another job out of here. At that point, I really can put the thoughts of her behind me. I know I need to just see her as a coworker, but that's impossible right now as I'm still not over her and I haven't been blessed with indifference towards her. Time seems to be the only thing that is on my side in dealing with this. I don't really even feel all that "set back" in talking to her today. I'm not worse off than I've been this week anyway.

[ladyl]

Yeah I saw my ex at work today and he was all happy and doing that I have totally moved on and I don't give a shit about you thing! Last contact was him texting saying it would be really good if we could be friends that was on Tuesday so I'm really only on day 3 of NC again! **** knows why he wants to be friends but I reckon I'll probably never hear from him again anyway!

[Horseyguy]

Whoops ... massive fail!!! .... again

[confusius]

I sent her a text the other day and she replied. So I guess I failed lol.

[Horseyguy]

I sent her a text yesterday and we are catching up for drink in an hour. I reckon my fail tops your fail LOL

[Emmalina]

I broke NC yesterday so I'm back to day 1, but I have definitely reached the angry phase. He rang me last night to talk about exchanging stuff and I was very short with him telling him my parents would come next week to collect things. But then I had a slight panic that he would remember me as a bitch so I text him asking about his dad's birthday and nice things, I stupidly told him I had had a bad day. My grandad is not well at all and I'd wanted to tell him because he'd always been close to my grandad too, but he didn't give a shit that anything was wrong, he text me back with an oh so compassionate 'ok then'.

So I snapped. He told me that he had tried to get along with me since we broke up. The **** has he. I sent him a very passive aggressive text saying goodbye and that is most definitely that.

I'm really, really angry. I hate him. I hate him for doing this to me. I hate him for making me feel this bad. I hate him for making me fall for him so hard. I hate him for not giving a shit. I hate him for him thinking he is the noble guy, that he has somehow 'tried' to get along with me. I hate him for replacing me so damn quickly. I hate him for loving her. I hate him for throwing away 2 years with no second thoughts, no caring about how I am. I hate him for letting me believe that we were okay, for buying me flowers two days before he ended it. I hate him for everything he put me through when we were together and I especially hate him for making me give him all those chances when he couldn't even give me one. I have heard that the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference, so I guess I hate him for his sudden indifference too while I am stuck hating him. I hate him, hate him, hate him.

I feel so angry I could burst. I have visions of visiting his girlfriend where she works and calling her out, I won't do it but I want to. I'm not sure if this is a healthy reaction but I've never been so angry, I f***ing hate him.

For all of you who have experienced the angry phase, how long does it take to go? I don't want to be angry, I just want to be indifferent

[pisces25]

I am starting NC right now. I broke it off (after considering going back) but it still hurts like hell. We had a pretty great r/ship but were at a complete impasse over one particular issue and couldn't get past it. Even with therapy. I love him to death but sometimes it really isn't enough.

[senokotmax]

I keep failing this by texting her.

I guess I just miss my best friend and can't understand why she won't give us another chance.

[pisces25]

Mobile phones suck!

[Emmalina]

I keep failing this by texting her.

I guess I just miss my best friend and can't understand why she won't give us another chance.

I feel the same, I just miss my best friend. We did everything together, we laughed at the same things and life was like one big private joke. And now he's gone and everything reminds me of him, all the things we used to do together and all the things we liked, the places we went. He was my best friend and now I'm alone, no one will ever get that close to me again because this hurts like hell. He told me that she, the girl he has known a month, is now his best friend. Like I never existed... :/

[Emmalina]

I sent her a text yesterday and we are catching up for drink in an hour. I reckon my fail tops your fail LOL

How did your drink go? I hope you're okay and it went well.

[DarkHelmet82]

i might break no contact too...

[McRich01]

I keep failing this by texting her.

I guess I just miss my best friend and can't understand why she won't give us another chance.

You aint the only one !

Unforetunaty the person who breaks up the relationship is able to move on quicker, Whilst us are left in a dark place.

I can honestly say you have to have no contact, Because you keep texting her giving your self a false sense of hope that maybe she'll come back to you. Which i hate to say but her decision is made hence why she ended things. Its the harsh reality I'm afraid. Just like me the sooner you realize its over for good, The quicker you'll hit recovery stage. Noone said it was ment to be easy, But through time and absence, It does get easier, As each day passes you find out who you are without her, And without the routine.

Its been 2 weeks and 5 days for me now, Although in the first week it felt like there was no way of moving on, I guess as i got through the week suddenly realized that i am getting stronger, And realized the pain that she had put me through (Love turned into Hatred). Even if she came knocking at my door begging me to have her back, I'd tell her to f**k off.

Just take my advice today, Which is not to contact her no matter what, I promise you everything will be okay in the long run, And you will get through this.

Stay strong, Hang in there.

[pisces25]

I feel the same, I just miss my best friend. We did everything together, we laughed at the same things and life was like one big private joke. And now he's gone and everything reminds me of him, all the things we used to do together and all the things we liked, the places we went. He was my best friend and now I'm alone, no one will ever get that close to me again because this hurts like hell. He told me that she, the girl he has known a month, is now his best friend. Like I never existed... :/

Remember this. When two people involve themselves in a relationship it becomes unique to them. You become best friends, you share private jokes, you have the same humour over things, you enjoy the same things. This is the reason that you fell in love. But it is going to happen again. I too laughed at the same things with my ex, we shared private jokes, all couples do. So you will find that with someone again, how can you not? Ask anyone here and they'll say they too shared these things with their ex's and that is why it HURTS LIKE HELL. But just knowing one day you will be content again helps a lot. I am so excited at what the future holds. Not because some guy may come and sweep me off my feet just because I simply don't know what's ahead. There is a whole world out there to explore and many, many people to meet. Bet ya $100 when you eventually find your life partner you will go 'phew, glad that douche broke up with me 5 years ago otherwise I wouldn't of met you'. how do I know that? Because that is what we say to our partners. Even our now ex's. So keep your heart open, don't get jaded and realise you will have this again.

[OmnicronPercei8]

Pisces I want to believe that but I am off the wall and my ex was one of a kind too. There aren't too many hot quirky girls out there that share my sense of humor and personality (at least not here where many ladies are stuck on themselves and their money). I know I'll have another unique relationship with someone else down the road as everyone else will but at this time I am in doubt that I'll be able to connect with another person on SO MANY LEVELS. Put it like this. I have had many many friends over the years, but only one (diamond) best friend for over 18 years. I've had other friends (emeralds) who I would also consider best friends, but the way we interact is completely different. Forced by gunpoint to choose I would always go with my BEST friend who I haven't even seen in two years because he lives across the continent.

The point is this. If I have a better best friend out there, it's going to be hard to match what I've known for so long. (Technically I would have said though that my ex was also one of my best friends).