The July NC Challenge

[irishgerry]

well, RAGE is still consuming me for his betryal.... What happens when this rage is gone????????????????????????????

anger is a normal process. yeah unforutnately though you may feel lonely after this. best thing to do is to plan as much with your friends as possible just to make sure you are not alone as much.

[vampiress]

anger is a normal process. yeah unforutnately though you may feel lonely after this. best thing to do is to plan as much with your friends as possible just to make sure you are not alone as much.

Yeah!!! I guess I can do this.... I can do this.... I can do this...

[OmnicronPercei8]

Well another shitty day. I emailed my ex to let her know that I was going to completely block her account on FB. When I unfriended her I got backlash from her and I didn't want to get into it again so I told her I was doing it because I couldn't control myself from going on there if only to see her profile picture to which she had just updated to her and her new boyfriend together. She told me she understood and asked if there was anything else she could do to help me get over her. I found out last week that she is heading up her class organization of of volunteering at the same place that I have committed to volunteer at for a couple of months. I asked her to make sure she wasn't there on those nights and she said she would comply. I was fine with the way the communication ended so I didn't say anything else. And then she started asking if I was seeing anyone yet. I told her no, that it should be obvious that I was not ready for that and we started talking about how I've been grieving the relationship (7+ weeks in counting) and how she grieved the relationship (2 told weeks but really unknown). I told her if she had cared as much about me as she claimed and I have felt for her she would have sat me down and fought for me during her grieving. She claimed to have written out a list of the pros and cons so to speak and just realized that we weren't going to work and was ok with that. I have done the same but wasn't just "ok" with that but anyway.

I got pissed and called her out on the fact I knew she had lied to me about seeing the guy up to two weeks before finally ending it with me and even speculated that there were other nights we had plans to do stuff and she would break her commitment to me to go home and "rest" or clean or whatever. There is a very good chance she could have been seeing this guy even before we went on our break . Even though we were on a break it was cowardly to jump into the arms of another man and I accused her of transferring the feelings she had for me into him and never truly grieving the relationship. Which was for the most part a secret anyway. I am pissed that I got led into this conversation with her and even more pissed and sad that I left work just as I sent the last email. So Monday I will have her reply. I know people would say don't read it but put in their own place I know they would.

[DarkHelmet82]

Well another shitty day. I emailed my ex to let her know that I was going to completely block her account on FB. When I unfriended her I got backlash from her and I didn't want to get into it again so I told her I was doing it because I couldn't control myself from going on there if only to see her profile picture to which she had just updated to her and her new boyfriend together. She told me she understood and asked if there was anything else she could do to help me get over her. I found out last week that she is heading up her class organization of of volunteering at the same place that I have committed to volunteer at for a couple of months. I asked her to make sure she wasn't there on those nights and she said she would comply. I was fine with the way the communication ended so I didn't say anything else. And then she started asking if I was seeing anyone yet. I told her no, that it should be obvious that I was not ready for that and we started talking about how I've been grieving the relationship (7+ weeks in counting) and how she grieved the relationship (2 told weeks but really unknown). I told her if she had cared as much about me as she claimed and I have felt for her she would have sat me down and fought for me during her grieving. She claimed to have written out a list of the pros and cons so to speak and just realized that we weren't going to work and was ok with that. I have done the same but wasn't just "ok" with that but anyway.

I got pissed and called her out on the fact I knew she had lied to me about seeing the guy up to two weeks before finally ending it with me and even speculated that there were other nights we had plans to do stuff and she would break her commitment to me to go home and "rest" or clean or whatever. There is a very good chance she could have been seeing this guy even before we went on our break . Even though we were on a break it was cowardly to jump into the arms of another man and I accused her of transferring the feelings she had for me into him and never truly grieving the relationship. Which was for the most part a secret anyway. I am pissed that I got led into this conversation with her and even more pissed and sad that I left work just as I sent the last email. So Monday I will have her reply. I know people would say don't read it but put in their own place I know they would.

yeah dude i know how you feel.. everytime i contacted my ex i felt like crap after... nothing good comes from it.

[Horseyguy]

YAY!! Day 7

[pisces25]

Day 9. It isn't getting easier. Am desperate to talk to him, hold him, see him.

[JennaBella]

Day 10, it is getting easier Ok not 100% there yet but defo on the road to recovery compared to 10 days ago

[senokotmax]

Day one today.

[JennaBella]

Senokotmax...... Again?? Be stronger! You'll feel better if u manage it, take it from one who knows You want your ex to take you seriously after all. Have you sent a nc message or are u just ignoring her/ not contacting her?
JB

[pisces25]

Good Luck Senokotmax. Don't give up trying NC. Go half days if you find it easier.

[Horseyguy]

Day 8 and it will all be downhill now as I really don't feel any need to make contact with her

[OmnicronPercei8]

I think I've started to hit the point where I have to just completely write my ex off which means discounting the relationship. It pains me to do it and I know we had issues and some work to do to make it last but I still believe that what we had was a beautiful thing. I'm sure I will feel the same years down the road when I have completely gotten over her (or as close I can get to doing that), but for right now I'm holding on to something that just isn't there. Letting go right now means I have to basically write her off for the bitch she was and focus on all the negative qualities and there were many of those.

When we were seeing each other she was insanely jealous of a couple other women at work always telling me, as we took our breaks that I would be leering at them. In reality I would glance at them as they walked in the room and avert my eyes so quick that if you blinked, you'd miss it. ALl because it bothered her so much. During our email exchange yesterday she told me that she would be ok with me seeing someone at work now which kills me. Basically she doesn't even care enough about me anymore to have me dating someone right in front of her.

[OmnicronPercei8]

I went out with a friend last night though and had a great time. Ended up getting hit on by a much younger and very attractive blond who was dragging me around with her on the dance floor. I hate dancing but you gotta do what you gotta do, ya know? It felt so nice to feel desired again.

[JennaBella]

Day 8 and it will all be downhill now as I really don't feel any need to make contact with her

on the contrary it's all UP HILL! Have a little faith I yourself, no one needs another person to function and be happy! Yes it's hard getting into the mindset of accepting it's now over but the sooner you do, the better for your spirit. I've been faking being "over it" for a couple of months to the point where I'm actually starting to believe it and the turning point was no contact. 11 days and I have no goal to reach in mind other than being over him! Good luck!

[Horseyguy]

on the contrary it's all UP HILL! Have a little faith I yourself, no one needs another person to function and be happy! Yes it's hard getting into the mindset of accepting it's now over but the sooner you do, the better for your spirit. I've been faking being "over it" for a couple of months to the point where I'm actually starting to believe it and the turning point was no contact. 11 days and I have no goal to reach in mind other than being over him! Good luck!

I meant downhill as in an easy run (as in skiing / walking / riding a bike) as opposed to all being uphill which is a hell of a lot harder to do

Point being I'm starting to find it a lot lot easier now it's been over two months and I still miss her sometimes but I've got to the point where I know I'm better not being with her than I will ever be being back with her

Way too many issues for me and way too selfish and self-centred and I'm done dating an alcoholic, it's just way too draining

And the fact I'm actually happy that I'm not getting any contact from her anymore pretty much sums up how I feel