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Thread: how to end a FWB situation? Honesty needed guys! :-)

  1. #1
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    how to end a FWB situation? Honesty needed guys! :-)

    So I think my guy FWB wants it to be over because he has hinted lately how busy is going to be etc.
    I have strong feelings for him and it's hard right now.

    The situation at the moment is this:
    We are facebook friends
    He texts me every few days in a friendly way
    We go to the same places at night on the weekends (most of the time)

    I want to let him know I need a break from being friends with him (he has always said that he wants
    to be friends if we are not FWB and i think he is genuine but I am finding it hard like i am waiting for next call, next move)

    We always speak by facebook message.. i was thinking of sending this :

    HI
    I REGRET THAT WE SLEPT TOGETHER RECENTLY. I DONT THINK IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
    I THINK WE BOTH KNOW WHATEVER IT IS BETWEEN US ISNT THE SAME ANYMORE. I ALSO
    FIND I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU A LOT AND I KNOW I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU THAT YOU DONT HAVE FOR ME. DONT TAKE THIS WRONG BUT I WOULD APPRECIATE IF I COULD TAKE YOU OFF FACEBOOK FOR A WHILE AND THAT YOU DONT TEXT OR CALL SO I CAN MOVE ON BETTER. I DO WANT FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU IN THE FUTURE, AND I AM NOT ANGRY AT YOU OR ANYTHING ELSE.
    I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND. I KNOW YOU THINK I PLAY GAMES BUT THIS ISNT ME TRYING TO BE DIFFICULT. I TRULY JUST WANT TO MOVE ON AND I AM HAVING A HARD TIME IF WE TALK AND SEE EACH OTHER AND EVER END UP SLEEPING TOGETHER.

    X


    Guys opinions please!! will he hate this message? is it awful? should it be shorter? or is it alright

    honestly, the biggest thing i cant take at the moment is his facebook. he is constantly updating where he is, like what club which night, then they are girls that click 'like' etc and i wonder if he is sleeping with this one that one it is the hard bit - facebook. even just when he posts songs one night then next night doesnt post.. i wonder where he is..

    i know his answer to my message is just going to be short and hurtful

  2. #2
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    Hey, I am not a guy but I was in a similar situation that you are in recently. The difference is I let it keep going. He ended up stopping it when he realized I had feelings for him, but he did not tell me why. We tried to be friends way too quickly and then I told him about my feelings. We are no longer talking... I do not think your message was harsh in any way. You should never do anything you do not feel comfortable with. When i read your message I thought about how I wish you had posted this months ago and I probably would have been inspired to do the same thing. If he does not like it then is this someone you even want to be friends with? even if he gets mad if he does care about you (even as a friend) then he will forgive you later. Just get out of this while you still can...

  3. #3
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    hey - i think you are going about this the right way - but, you would be better off being a little less emotional. Just get to the point - no qualifiers, no apologies, no saying that "you and I both know". - just say what you feel in a very matter of fact way - for example something like
    "I think things have been a little tense since the other night. You seem busy, and I'm worried I'm getting too involved. So I'm going to take a break for a while from facebook and the like until things feel a little more normal for me. -"

    Or something along those lines
    Good luck

  4. #4
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    Don't type it in all caps.

  5. #5
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    I didn't know you had to break off a FWB situation, you just stop sleeping together, then its jut "F" without the "WB".
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  6. #6
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    FWB always seems like a bad idea--someone always gets attached and/or shredded.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  7. #7
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    First - if I got this message from a girl I was dating, I would be absolutely delighted. It's remarkably direct compared to a lot of the crap I have dealt with (having to infer from her actions--flakiness, etc--and emotional subtext that she's no longer interested). But please don't write in all caps.

    Guys really appreciate directness (at least I do) and if you can't handle the emotions of sleeping with him, then yeah just break it off and be nice enough to explain WHY you're doing so. If HE can't handle being very politely told that it's over in this way (not really dumped, since you're just FWB) then he needs to grow a pair.

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