Men who treat you with respect.

[Graham Berkeley]

Been into Online dating recently. Seems I've got a method going that returns an average of one third of the girls I contact I go out with.

No jacked stories, no manipulative mind games, just old fashion "Nice" dates.

Little background on me:

I'm told I look like a cross between Justin Timberlake and a younger Eric Dane (From Greys Anatomy). I've got a little extra weight around the mid section but not enough to be terribly off putting. Its pretty obvious pretty fast I lean more toward the "dorky" side as I was raised by a couple of Sci-Fi and Lord of the Rings nerds. I try not too show off "bling" but its also obvious im well off (I make more than 100k a year which is average for where I live)

So far there are a few Constants emerging from my online dating experience. Mind you these are the 3rd of the girls I send a message too that will go out with me.

1. Typically pretty overweight. Not a deal killer as I like women to have curves but there are limits.
2. They are typically unemployed or have a "MC.Job" like at Starbucks. NOT okay for someone in their late 20's/early 30's.
3. They have never been in a relationship before.

Date usually goes "well" as there is a good exchange back and forth. I always pay and always act respectful like a gentlemen. The date usually ends a little awkward with it being obvious I've struck a cord with them. They usually send me all the "signs" and act giggly and nervous. Should see these girls face when I bust out my credit card to pay...

I use to believe women DIDN'T want a good looking, gainfully employed, chivalrous gentlemen as the majority of women seem to date bottom feeding losers but as I've gotten older its become clear that most, if not ALL women, want that but only large, never loved, under achieving girls will actually "go for it".


Why do you think this is?





P.S. Further more why is it I get no response when trying to set up a second date?

[telebananaphone]

You shouldn't worry so much about getting a second date.
When a guy contacts me online, I like to know right away that he's well off financially because I don't associate with poor people.
I don't know what kind of city you live in, but if it's one that could go either way I always assume "poor" just to be safe.
Post a picture of yourself in an expensive car, and don't say a lot about your "soul" or "love".
Just say, "Looking for a hot girl to party with" and sweety, I'd sooo be down.

Too bad you live in Canada cuz I love me a rich guy.

[MerryH]

^^You're really not as clever or good at this as you think you are. Do it better.


OP, what are you asking? Are you asking why you can only get dates with "large, never loved, under achieving girls"? That should be pretty self-explanatory.

And your thread's title has to do with respect, but your post didn't seem to have anything to do with respect, except to say that you treat these girls with respect. So? That's what you should be doing. Do you think this automatically earns you a second date? It doesn't.

[Graham Berkeley]

Thought the questions was pretty straight forward... You even quoted it in your response rather than give your opinion on an answer...

[MerryH]

What? I did not find the question(s?) straight forward. You said a bunch of things and then, "Why do you think this is?" What exactly were you referring to?

I'm asking for clarification. Why are you being snarky?

And I did give opinions. Several.

[Graham Berkeley]

I use to believe women DIDN'T want a good looking, gainfully employed, chivalrous gentlemen as the majority of women seem to date bottom feeding losers but as I've gotten older its become clear that most, if not ALL women, want that but only large, never loved, under achieving girls will actually "go for it".


Why do you think this is?

- Me

...

Are you asking why you can only get dates with "large, never loved, under achieving girls"?

- You

To which you followed with

That should be pretty self-explanatory.

Which clearly it isn't If i'm posing the question.

If this isn't straight forward...

Nobody is being snarky. I'll appreciate your opinion once its posted. I understand its late but please no whining.

[MerryH]

no whining.

_____________

[Graham Berkeley]

I'm asking for clarification. Why are you being snarky?

And I did give opinions. Several.

Comes off as whiny and defensive. Totally unneeded.

If you feel I've been snarky, or rude or anything else you are invited to not reply to any of my posts ever again. Simple as that

[MaidenMinx]

I'm sorry, but I have to ask, what the hell is wrong with a MC.job, as you put it? Maybe the women you are meeting haven't had the same opportunities as you. Maybe they went to poor schools, maybe they didn't have the money or self confidence to go into further education? Maybe they really enjoy coffee and customer services?

I think you may have the key here to why you aren't getting a second date. You think you are a great catch, and in moderation there is nothing wrong with confidence, but your confidence is making the girls you date seemed judged and inferior. (just guessing here) You may have a great date with a girl that isn't so well employed who sees that you have some sort of flashy credit card and they may very well thing 'maybe I shouldn't go out with this guy again. I don't want to look like a gold digger.' (unlike the first girl to respond - and on that note, what would you prefer, a bit of extra weight and some personality? Or an out and out gold digger? seriously dude!)

[Graham Berkeley]

I didn't go to college. Barely graduated from high school. Was born to a high-low class (low middle class at best) family in Canada. Everything I've earned I've done so with the sweat of my own brow. A virtue that is touted with the utmost importance in America but is RARELY put into action. If someone has a Mc.Job it is their own fault. Especially in America. Everyone I've ever met who was unhappy with their life and career made the same excuses as you posed; "haven't had the same opportunities as you. Maybe they went to poor schools, maybe they didn't have the money or self confidence to go into further education"

None of that matters. NONE of that is keeping you from success. It isn't having the right amount of money, or the right looks or if you went to college or not. Success is a daily choice. I reached it by making daily choices that set me up to encounter it. Working at Starbucks or bestbuy for 5 years while you "Think about what you wanna do" is not the mindset of success.

BTW, its a standard Wellsfargo Visa credit card... Nothing fancy about that...

[Charlie Boy II]

if you can't get a second date with overweight unemployed women you must be doing something seriously wrong.

[MaidenMinx]

As a 31 yr old waitress I can tell you quite honestly that my biggest problem is I don't know what I want to do and I admire people that do. Luckily I met a wonderful man that could appreciate the fact that at least I wasn't sitting on my arse doing nothing. I still have trouble deciding what I want to do but that same man is still supporting any decision I do make and still appreciating the fact that I'm still doing at least something, even if that something now is focusing on our son and trying to keep our house clean and organised.

I would now like to make a point about opportunities. My best friend and I went to through Yr 11 together. Because at the time I had taken a break from school I was old enough to turn my Yr 11 in to a high school certificate. My best friend had to do another yr after I had left. She didn't make it. I went into retail, and hospitality not long after. My best friends sister got her a job as a receptionist. I didn't know anyone that could do that for me and had no desire to work in an office anyway. A li'l over 10 yrs later and I'm married with a son in primary school and she is earning a ridiculous amount of money for her age. I got my high school certificate, she didn't yet she got the career. I think you need to be more open minded about how people have gotten to where they are.

Success is also a matter of perspective. I am in a successful relationship that I am working at everyday. My best friend is in a successful job but has had 4 (count 'em 4) break ups in the time my man and I have been together. Who's the success??

[reeba]

I'm tyring to figure out what the question is. Are you upset that you keep getting these underachiever girls? That only they appreciate a nice guy? The good looking educated don't appreciate a nice guy?

You could not be further from the truth.

Maybe your successful system you are using for online dating, isn't so successful after all. First you are contacting women you appear to not be too interested in. You aren't selective enough on who to contact. Then you agree to go out with a 1/3 of them, despite the fact that you consider them losers?

I wouldn't call the above a great plan, or great stats. Quantity is no substitue for Quality.

[JadenMia]

I dont think i would go on a second date with you either, you sound like a jerk and not all that great catch at all.
I work as a customer service manager.. In walmart! Its my fault i work here right? lol Or maybe i just choose to work this because i like the work?

People that think they are better than others really bug me.

[doppelgaenger]

Date usually goes "well" as there is a good exchange back and forth. I always pay and always act respectful like a gentlemen. The date usually ends a little awkward with it being obvious I've struck a cord with them. They usually send me all the "signs" and act giggly and nervous. Should see these girls face when I bust out my credit card to pay...

...

P.S. Further more why is it I get no response when trying to set up a second date?

LOL

Overconfident jackass.