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Thread: What is going on in his head!?!?

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctr916 View Post
    Here is the part I was responding to:



    Why do some women claim they can't love their friends and expect to be taken seriously about a potential, long term, legally binding social contract that usually involves a lot of (quality) time being spent together; in my opinion and in modern times, I think women should seriously reconsider that form of obsolete propaganda, rhetoric, and form of "cultural" education. You may have noticed that the term girlfriend includes the term friend.

    You are welcome to provide your own point of view for clarification.
    You clearly don't understand something, so you're inserting weird, false statements and presenting them as logic.

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    You are welcome to provide clarification instead of a biased and unsubstantiated opinion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ctr916 View Post
    You are welcome to provide clarification instead of a biased and unsubstantiated opinion.
    Pretty sure I clarified it just fine. Maybe you should read it again?

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    I couldn't find a rational point of view due to all of the judgementalism and bias. What if we agree to disagree.

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    How about you simply stop projecting and rather empathize that way you'd be able to understand. If you're unable to empathize then google sociopath and then get back to us.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    I think you've misunderstood what I was meaning completely!! Yes I love my friends very much but I'm not in love with them!! That's something different altogether! My ex and I were friends/ confidantes before we were lovers but as I still "fancy" him and my heart is still yearning for him I cannot be platonic friends with him. And, fact, he cannot be with me either. We tried it to begin with and it was ok if we met in, say, a cafe or other busy public place (though he would still have to physically touch me in some way) but every time we were in private it was a race to rip eachothers clothes off. Then the next day it was like, ok we can only meet in public places so we aren't tempted. How wrong is that!? And the same would happen again I cam pretty my much guarantee it. Some people are just biologically programmed to be together. I believe we were. But other factors, ie real life, got in the way.
    Anyway, he probably won't contact me again now I've asked him not to so life without him commences. His loss! Humour me lol!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    How about you simply stop projecting and rather empathize that way you'd be able to understand. If you're unable to empathize then google sociopath and then get back to us.
    I think you've been reading some bad examples of what you are referring to. It is not a projection but a rationalization based on logic and reason and the actual meaning of the words employed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JennaBella View Post
    I think you've misunderstood what I was meaning completely!! Yes I love my friends very much but I'm not in love with them!! That's something different altogether! My ex and I were friends/ confidantes before we were lovers but as I still "fancy" him and my heart is still yearning for him I cannot be platonic friends with him. And, fact, he cannot be with me either. We tried it to begin with and it was ok if we met in, say, a cafe or other busy public place (though he would still have to physically touch me in some way) but every time we were in private it was a race to rip eachothers clothes off. Then the next day it was like, ok we can only meet in public places so we aren't tempted. How wrong is that!? And the same would happen again I cam pretty my much guarantee it. Some people are just biologically programmed to be together. I believe we were. But other factors, ie real life, got in the way.
    Anyway, he probably won't contact me again now I've asked him not to so life without him commences. His loss! Humour me lol!
    While I can understand your point of view and think you should do what you believe to best for you and, hopefully, your ex boyfriend; I still agree to disagree with a concept that premises that friends cannot be lovers and vice versa; but, it is a philosophical argument and I don't expect to change your mind in one day, but merely ask that you re-consider any concept which states that a girlfriend cannot be a friend who is a girl to their significant other.

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    Ignore him and he may go away
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    Lol yes WakeUp I hear you!! I think someone should have been born in the swinging 60's when the sort of free love he's advocating was socially acceptable. I prefer to keep my booty for someone deserving of that luxury lol!!!!!

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    I think it is more interesting to note, that some women in the your country are better true witness bearers than some women in my country, in their gender studies. And, we even have "under God" in our pledge of allegiance to our own republic and the People thereof. Besides, you misunderstood the concept, where did I advocate "free love" with random strangers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    Ignore him and he may go away
    Most guys with a lack of logic and reason feel the same way. I thought Canadians were supposed to be nicer than most Americans?

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    Ctr916 I have absolutely no idea what you're going on about. How about trying to speak plain English and leave out the flowery language. You may have a valid point to make however the excessive use of what you obviously perceive to be "clever" language is actually causing your point to be lost in translation. No one likes a smart arse. For your information, there are plenty women (and men) who want to have loving monogomous relationships. I have a feeling this concept may be beyond your base sex obsessed personality. If you have nothing useful or practical to offer and are only after a bit of confrontation and stirring things up then kindly GET LOST, that kind of behaviour is not welcome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JennaBella View Post
    I was meaning more along the lines of what kind of things can I say that will make him see that I care but am not his fall back girl. I guess I just know that by telling him I want no contact I am risking that being "it" for him and I in all ways forever.
    JB
    Just say "We can never be anything more than friends." That's like a knife in the heart for all guys. If he doesn't get the picture then you know he is mentally ill and may be dangerous.

    I prefer to keep my booty for someone deserving of that luxury
    Wow, what an ego.
    Last edited by bulrush; 09-07-11 at 01:03 AM.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by JennaBella View Post
    Ctr916 I have absolutely no idea what you're going on about. How about trying to speak plain English and leave out the flowery language. You may have a valid point to make however the excessive use of what you obviously perceive to be "clever" language is actually causing your point to be lost in translation. No one likes a smart arse. For your information, there are plenty women (and men) who want to have loving monogomous relationships. I have a feeling this concept may be beyond your base sex obsessed personality. If you have nothing useful or practical to offer and are only after a bit of confrontation and stirring things up then kindly GET LOST, that kind of behaviour is not welcome.
    Sorry about that, I try to use simple American English whenever possible.

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