:( Cannot believe this..

[HereComesTheSun]

So i hope to post here without any judgement and would really appreciate any advice.

Me and my partner have been through our ups and downs, currently we are getting on just fine everything is well with us and i am really happy we could sort out our differences.
But, the past week there has been all sorts of news on how many STD's are going around and that everybody should be getting screened. I thought it would be a good idea to get tested since i have been sexually active and to block out any worries.

Last year, me and my partner split for a few months. I ended up sleeping with a man throughout that time, it was a huge regret on my behalf as we got back together afterward whereas i didnt think we were going to. If i had known i would have stayed well away. I am not sure if my partner slept with someone, he denied he did anything with another woman, so i couldnt be sure if he had or not.
I told my partner i was going to get screened and he acted very defensive, saying well, if i have caught something it would be from you and he would be extremely upset. Which i definitely understand but i didnt think anything would come through as i have always used protection with anyone other than him in my life.

Of course, yesterday i get a call from the doctors. They cant tell me on the phone obviously so i have to go in today. Apart from the obvious worry of what the abnormality from the pap test and the std screen is, i am worried about how to tell my partner.
He is not going to take this well needless to say, i just thought i was doing the right thing to go get tested to rule everything out. My friend told me that it could be just as well from him, as i have never slept around in my life and he has had a fair few partners that were a little less than classy.

I am just worried about telling him once i get the news.. I fear he might leave me, yet i dont think i did anything outreagously wrong to him..
I guess i am just nervous and i wanted to vent here as i certainly couldnt tell people around me. I am incredibly embarrassed.. Has anyone got any experience or advice on this type of situation?
Or how to handle my partners outrage when i tell him, he has an extreme anger problem, and typically blows up the smallest of situations.. I am so nervous.. I dont know how to react when he flips, do i say im sorry.. i dont know

[fun2bwith45]

you should have waited to make this thread after you go into the doctor's because we don't know what the hell is going on at this point

anyways, if you really did always protect yourself with other people then it seems likely that it could be from him. this depends on the diagnosis though...if it's hpv you could get that from literally anything, it doesn't have to be sex (kissing, skin-to-skin contact etc.)

when you protected yourself did you have any unprotected contact with the penis? ie sucking the dick and then putting the condom on before you get ****ed??

[HereComesTheSun]

Thanks for the response..

Ugh, what a horrible day. I went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.. I just cannot believe it, i feel so ashamed and guilty. Sick to my stomach in fact. I got the pill treatment and go back in 3 week to check its all clear. I wanted to keep my partner in the open about all of this, i truly didnt think it was from me, i did use protection with the guy, i felt his penis and he felt me without any protection but then sex was completely protected with a condom.
I told my partner and he flipped the lid. Saying this is what happens when i 'skank it up'.. I didnt think i was skanking it up. I regret it with my all, but he seriously hurt me, i was so upset seeing someone else was more of an attempt to stop all the pain i felt.. It was a stupid idea on my behalf, i wish i could take it back.
He just ignored me from then on.. wouldnt answer my calls or text. When i finally drove home from work i saw everybody at his house drinking.. It just hurt. He said i f*cked everything up and its all my fault.. I dont know why he doesnt see this is a result of how he was treating me before too.

He finally called me and asked me to go see him tonight.. I just dont know what to think anymore. I feel heartbroken, if it were up to me, we would just tough this out, put it behind us and work together on healing as a couple. He said he doesnt want to leave me, but this stuff makes him act badly towards me and he doesnt know how to stop acting up now.

Any advice would be great. Thanks x

[VincenzoG91]

When is he getting tested?

[HereComesTheSun]

When is he getting tested?

He isnt, i dont think. My doctor told him to just call in this morning and go get the treatment from him today.

[HeartIsAching]

Thanks for the response..

Ugh, what a horrible day. I went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.. I just cannot believe it, i feel so ashamed and guilty. Sick to my stomach in fact. I got the pill treatment and go back in 3 week to check its all clear. I wanted to keep my partner in the open about all of this, i truly didnt think it was from me, i did use protection with the guy, i felt his penis and he felt me without any protection but then sex was completely protected with a condom.
I told my partner and he flipped the lid. Saying this is what happens when i 'skank it up'.. I didnt think i was skanking it up. I regret it with my all, but he seriously hurt me, i was so upset seeing someone else was more of an attempt to stop all the pain i felt.. It was a stupid idea on my behalf, i wish i could take it back.
He just ignored me from then on.. wouldnt answer my calls or text. When i finally drove home from work i saw everybody at his house drinking.. It just hurt. He said i f*cked everything up and its all my fault.. I dont know why he doesnt see this is a result of how he was treating me before too.

He finally called me and asked me to go see him tonight.. I just dont know what to think anymore. I feel heartbroken, if it were up to me, we would just tough this out, put it behind us and work together on healing as a couple. He said he doesnt want to leave me, but this stuff makes him act badly towards me and he doesnt know how to stop acting up now.

Any advice would be great. Thanks x

You got the clap, and you're all horrified about it? Just be thankful it was something minor that could be taken care of with a pill.

And yeah - when's he getting tested?

And... why are you blaming his treatment of you for you sleeping around? Are you not responsible for your own actions?

[DarkHelmet82]

Biggie Smalls is the wickedest
Niggaz say I'm pussy? I dare you to stick your dick in this
If I was pussy I'd be filled with syphillis
Herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, gettin rid of ya

[Mona_B]

your partner sounds like a jerk. I mean, even if you did get infected, you did everything you could to be safe - if you told the truth - and this can just happen. And you cannot even be sure you didn't get it from your "partner". Also, as far as I know, you can get this also from toiletseats or whatever. It doesn't really matter. Of course your partner has a right to be a little upset, if he is innocent. But it is really not that big of a deal, easy treatable, so his reaction is totally out of line. In my opinion.

[smackie9]

I have a feeling he is guilty about something. There's a possablitiy he paniced and place the blame on you to cover up him having unprotected sex with someone else......better have a closer look.

[Lite]

He's being overly defensive. I'm guessing that he didn't sleep with someone when you were broken up, I'm guessing he slept with someone to get back at you for sleeping with someone when you were broken up, and he brought the disease into the relationship. Why? Most people KNOW they've got the clap because they're pissing needles... It's not something you get and don't know that you have.

[Lite]

She slept with one man when they were broken up. That's hardly "sleeping around". They weren't in a relationship, and he has no right to be angry at what she did or did not do during that time. They had no social contract, and she used a condom...

Honestly it sounds like he's overreacting to the fact that he slept with someone to get back at her after they'd re-initiated their relationship, and didn't tell her he'd gotten the clap. In 75% of women it has no symptoms.

[HereComesTheSun]

Yeah, he has his appointment to get his treatment tomorrow. And yeah, i am kind of wondering if it was me or him that got it.. I had a routine checkup last year in March, they never got back to me about it so i figured i was clear and never looked into it. So i called the docs appt today to find out if that was definitely a negative for any STD's and it was a neg. So im happy that i havnt had it longer than that for one.. And it makes me curious if he has slept with someone. Although im not really going to check into it, if he did, it was probably when we were broken up so its none of my business really. Even though he swears he hasnt slept with anyone since we have gotten together. Im just not sure.

He definitely over reacted in my eyes, it was already a known fact i had slept with someone when we broke up so i dont understand why he got all ridiculous over that fact, last night he spent the night calling me names, and getting really physical.. I dont know what was up with him. Just grabbing me stupidly and pushing my face and grabbing my neck and stuff, it really upset me. Today i feel horrible about it all.

And yes HeartIsAching, of course i am responsible for my own reactions completely. I meant, none of the breakup would have happend if he hadnt have lost his temper over and over and treated me like sh*t.. I just meant the breakup. I didnt feel like i slept around either.. I have never been like that before, sex is a big deal to me.. But he is acting like i am a sl*t and it hurts he doesnt see that i am not like that.

[HeartIsAching]

Yeah, he has his appointment to get his treatment tomorrow. And yeah, i am kind of wondering if it was me or him that got it.. I had a routine checkup last year in March, they never got back to me about it so i figured i was clear and never looked into it. So i called the docs appt today to find out if that was definitely a negative for any STD's and it was a neg. So im happy that i havnt had it longer than that for one.. And it makes me curious if he has slept with someone. Although im not really going to check into it, if he did, it was probably when we were broken up so its none of my business really. Even though he swears he hasnt slept with anyone since we have gotten together. Im just not sure.

He definitely over reacted in my eyes, it was already a known fact i had slept with someone when we broke up so i dont understand why he got all ridiculous over that fact, last night he spent the night calling me names, and getting really physical.. I dont know what was up with him. Just grabbing me stupidly and pushing my face and grabbing my neck and stuff, it really upset me. Today i feel horrible about it all.

And yes HeartIsAching, of course i am responsible for my own reactions completely. I meant, none of the breakup would have happend if he hadnt have lost his temper over and over and treated me like sh*t.. I just meant the breakup. I didnt feel like i slept around either.. I have never been like that before, sex is a big deal to me.. But he is acting like i am a sl*t and it hurts he doesnt see that i am not like that.

Ok ok, not sleeping around - poor choice of words. Sorry 'bout that.

It just sounded like you were blaming your sleeping with somebody else on his behavior.

If he's calling you names it's emotional abuse. Touching you in ANY WAY that is unwanted, it's assault. Period.

[HereComesTheSun]

Ok ok, not sleeping around - poor choice of words. Sorry 'bout that.

It just sounded like you were blaming your sleeping with somebody else on his behavior.

If he's calling you names it's emotional abuse. Touching you in ANY WAY that is unwanted, it's assault. Period.

Yeah, i just re-read and it was my poor choice of words also, i didnt mean to blame him for sleeping with someone. I was just so heartbroken after a month and i desperately wanted to take my mind off things. Stupid now eh, look where it got me. Wont be doing that again!
And yeah, i dont know how to act about last night, it was honestly a little blurry, just a blur of upset and name calling. Everytime i tried to defend myself about anything he said, about me or anything, the more angry he got. I just didnt know wtf to say to anything. Every word he said nasty, i could actually feel a freakin pain in my chest it hurt that bad. Has anyone ever had that? Like an actual felt pain in your chest? It was weird i have never felt that before..

And the touching, yes, it was just weird. Like i said a blur, he would grab my arms and try twist them, and just trying to over power me it felt? He even bit me on my cheek! Like i dont know wtf happened.. I am just terribly confused about last night all together.

[magictree]

HI, when you were apart he probably had sex with someone else too.. So he'd be defensive and blame it on you! But maybe he gave it to you. Anyway Chlamydia isn't too serious, compared to other diseases... You've been honest, there's not much more you can do... Has he always been honest with you? If not, there's one way to go! He's aggressive with you. I guess it's his fault! Sleeping with one guy is not sleeping around, especially since you'd split up at the time. He sound arrogant and aggressive. 'Sounds like bad news to me... Be brave, you deserve better!