Write the reasons why you're better off without your ex :)

[DannyH]

I am just am better off with my ex. Not even worth the effort to figure out the reasons and that feel's awesome.

[Horseyguy]

Now I can go date someone that can have a glass of wine and not turn into an absolute bitch

[Emmalina]

I'm better off without him because I can do whatever I like... today was my sister's birthday and I chatted to everyone, I drank what I wanted to drink, flirted with who I wanted to flirt with and I had absolutely no one to answer for. If he'd have been there I would have been miserable, trying too hard on the lost cause of making him happy. It feels great to be so free to do what I like.

[Cerby]

I don't feel stressed out about our "relationship"
I don't have to beg for even the most minute bit of affection
I don't have to feel belittled and insignificant anymore
I don't have to deal with her stupid dog
I am happier without her.

[tremolo]

1) I am an emotionally sensitive, attuned person, and he was an emotional retard.
2) I like going out and doing things, and he likes sitting on the couch watching baseball - the most boring sport in existence.
3) I wanted a real thriving relationship, while all he wanted was arm candy.
4) I wanted to be mutually involved in each other's lives, while he just wanted me to fit into his.
5) The most excited I've ever seen him was a) when his venus flytrap clamped down on a maggot and b) when he saw the Kim Kardashian Sketchers commercial during the superbowl.
6) He (almost) never reciprocated my sexual efforts.
7) He ignored me while I cooked for him to watch reality television.
8) He hardly ever came to see me, but always expected me to come see him.
9) Whenever I expressed discontent with our relationship, he would disregard my feelings.
10) He dumped me so another girl could sleep in his apartment.

[OmnicronPercei8]

1) I am an emotionally sensitive, attuned person, and he was an emotional retard.

LMAO!

2) I like going out and doing things, and he likes sitting on the couch watching baseball - the most boring sport in existence.

Agreed

6) He (almost) never reciprocated my sexual efforts.

This is a major factor and deserves a higher spot on your list! I don't know how anyone would let their significant other get away with that

[Cerby]

2) I like going out and doing things, and he likes sitting on the couch watching baseball - the most boring sport in existence.

I'm only going to let this pass because you hate your ex. Baseball did nothing to you! NOTHING!

Thumbs down!

[tremolo]

I'm only going to let this pass because you hate your ex. Baseball did nothing to you! NOTHING!

Thumbs down!

I was learning to appreciate it before he dumped me!

[ForMadmenOnly]

I am better off because she was an emotional bully.

She is better off because I hate her so much that I would try my best to make her life a living hell if she ever tried to contact me again.

But I still miss her :-(

[OmnicronPercei8]

I realized another reason I'm better off. My ex is now with a pot smoking bluegrass hippy dude. Not that I find anything wrong with that (other than the fact that she is with someone else period), it's just that isn't who she was when we were in the relationship. We smoked pot one time (I don't really care for it) and she acted all weird as hell and was kind of a jerk and told me the next day that she becomes a monster when she smokes and will stay away at all cost. I apparently "coerced" her into smoking that night by saying "cmon do it, do it" which was BS but I digress. Anyway she told me that she was smoking pot now and "not being so uptight about everything" these days. Life is too short she says so she's having fun like she used to in her early 20's.

Now don't get me wrong, I like to party with the best of them (with just alcohol) and she and I did plenty of that so I didn't realize she was so uptight. I guess by uptight what she means is grown up (she's 29). If she wants to to go off and be a pot head then more power to her and another reason I don't want to be with her now.

[Emmalina]

1. He could not handle his drink. Ever. I could never go out with him to anywhere serving alcohol because he would be a mess within the first hour, and I would have to deal with somehow getting him home safe which was damn near impossible because no taxis would take us in his pathetic state.
2. He was aggressive with me. No one needs to put up with that.
3. He was incredibly inappropriate. When we went out with friends he'd ignore the general conversation and say something completely random or interrupt it to only address me. He made sexual jokes to my grandparents and joked to my Nan about Parkinson's disease. My Nan's sister has Parkinson's.
4. He was manipulative. I have tried to leave him before for being physically and mentally abusive and each time he's cried, put on the guilt trip, told me he's going to drive full force into a wall because without me he had no reason to live. I wanted out before, he trapped me in. I should be glad to be free.
5. After your boyfriend wets the bed with you in it, you definitely see him in a new, much more pathetic light.
6. His family and money situation is a complicated mess. He thinks he is somehow in debt to his family so he does everything for them, he once told me he was never going to move out from his parents home and that when his dad retires he's going to give all the money he earns to the family to support them. That's all very noble but what about his own life? What about his own family, what about our future? There's no future there is there?
7. The whole thing was fundamentally wrong. I never felt as though his feelings were genuine, I was always so suspicious of how he acted with other people and with me like it was all one big act to save him the loneliness of being without me.
8. He is on benefits, taking tax payers money, whilst still working and earning money for his family. Very classy.
9. He has a dog who never, ever gets walked. The dog does his business on the kitchen floor, the only room which he is allowed in, and newspapers covered in dog wee stay in the kitchen sometimes for days. The shit gets picked up with a paper towel and thrown away, the floor isn't even mopped. In the kitchen, where food is prepared and eaten. That's just disgusting.
10. When I told him his dog needed exercise and that we should take him for walks because he doesn't go out much, he cried.
11. I never fit in with his family.
12. He ate Chinese or fish and chips or some other kind of take away food every night.
13. He is no longer the person I fell in love with, and hasn't been for a long, long time.
14. He criticised me for everything and made me doubt every tiny thing. He told me he hated my makeup, hated when I wore certain things, hated false eyelashes, didn't like the way I drove, didn't like my jewellery, didn't like that I was a vegetarian, told me I was stopping him from having a life (I had encouraged him on more than a few occasions to go out with his friends or to do different things other than be with me so that was definitely not the case...just being spiteful), he told me his ex did more for him in different ways, he told me I should lose weight, he told me I was making him choose me over his family.... every tiny, tiny thing he found he didn't like. I have no idea why he didn't end it sooner if he seemingly hated me so much.
15. He has no idea what love is. He told me he loved me on our first date, and he told me he didn't love me anymore completely out the blue 2 years later on the day he ended it, when just two days before he'd sent me flowers and a card and repeatedly told me he loved me. What is that even... I can only think he just has no idea of the concept of what love is. He told his new girlfriend of a week that he loves her. He hasn't got a clue.

Ah, that feels better! I am better off without him. The bad memories are enough to put me off him for life, the good memories are outnumbered here. I probably shouldn't list all his flaws I just needed to do this because my brain paints this picture of him of the guy who bought me flowers, surprised me with little things he'd remembered about me, kissed my nose, danced with me in the snow, walked with me and kissed me under every street light on the road, created a secret handshake, made me believe I was capable of anything. My brain makes me think that he is perfect so I need a clear list of clear reasons why he is not perfect, why none of that is important because all of it was fundamentally wrong.

I don't need him and I'm beginning to see him for who he really is. I miss the good times but it's really helpful to see that by no means was he perfect, by no means were they always good times.

[pisces25]

What a catch. He did you a BIG favour. Walk away and DO NOT look back. Print that list out and stick it somewhere where you will see it ten times every day. You sound WAAAAAY to good for him,

[OmnicronPercei8]

Amen to that!!

[Cinnabella]

Because he put me through an incredible hurt for 6 months and he made me feel so Unwanted and Rejected. I wouldn't raise his flaws as no one is perfect and somewhere he might list a long page about my flaws lol. What I cared was whether he was a good man with good moral or not, perfect persons only exist in fiction.

[Kyeema]

* He lied to me again and again although he promised to always tell the truth after I found out about one of his lies.
* When I asked to get even and tell me everything he ever lied about he said there was nothing - but later I found out there was plenty!
* He took a job in another city 65 km away from the village we moved to because he wanted to be close to his daughter and mother who live here nearby - although he had 3 equilvalent job offers here with the same education opportunities and which he liked as well when he did his apprenticeships there.
* After he took this job he stayed away overnight for 2/3 of the months although it was only a 50 min drive home.
* He never told me what he did not like about our relationship / me, he always said he was only tired and everything was fine although it wasn't.
* He had time and energy for all his (mostly female) colleagues in his life but not for me, our dogs and our construction site at home which he started and never finished.
* He broke all his promises.
* Whenever I told him that I didn't like the way things were he said, he did all this only for us, he didn't know what else to do (come home more often!... would've been one thing), he felt, he can't do anything right and then he was hurt and couldn't talk about it any more.
* He did not come home for my 40th birthday.
* He bought me a shower gel set for my 40th birthday.
* He stayed with at a female colleague's house for a week although there were acceptable alternatives (20 min ride to his room) and I told him I was not comfortable with it. He insisted (and still insists) that he saved us a lot of money by this - what I felt was completely irrational in his opinion and therefore irrelevant, I should have been grateful for that.
* He talked with all his female friends about me, I was the "depressive, jealous one", but never talked to me about this subject.
* I could not trust him.
* He always spent more money that he had and never paid his bills ---> he has loads of debts and his salary is executed to minimum.
* I bought him a car so he could commute, but he never did.
* He never brushed his teeth and therefore has lost all his teeth but the front ones.
* He didn't shower in 3 days.
* He never vacuumed or cleaned anything in the house.
* When he cooked for us (he really can cook!) he always left the kitchen a complete mess.
* He left half-empty and empty bottles and cups and other kind of garbage everywhere around the house.
* I always had to BEG him to cut the man-high grass (and nettles) on our meadow behind the house with this huge brushcutter which I extra bought for him (it has the same size as me, that's why I refused doing it, mawing the lawn with the normal lawnmawer - no problem!) or repair something around the house etc.
* He never finished what he started around the house.
* He left his dirty socks and underwear where he took them off.
* He NEVER started the washing machine or the dryer.
* He had a female visitor when I was away for the weekend and he lied about it (I found 2 used napkins and 2 plates were washed by hand, which he NEVER did, and the dishwasher was still filled with clean dishes, because I started it before I left.) Perhaps he even had sex with her in our bed, I found a broken condom package on his night stand but can't remember if that was there before or not, so I will never know.
* He said it was my fault that he had to lie.
* He said he didn't come home because he didn't feel appreciated for the hard work he was doing, but never told me so until after we broke up.
* He always slept with his back pointing towards me on the outmost edge of his side of our bed.
* He never supported me when I felt bad, he felt bad then himself because he couldn't help me which I did not expect from him - I just wanted him to hold me not solve my problems...
* He never acknowledged what I said. He sat there, listened and went on as before, did not change anything.
* When he had access to my bank accounts he overdrew them while I was in hospital.
* Whenever he told a story or something that had happened he exaggerated big time.
* He always said family comes first and made a big statement out of it in front of others, but never lived it.
* In the end he left me here alone with the still to be renovated house, our 3 dogs and debts. And my pain. And never even calls.
* When I gave him the choice between "getting to know his friends, coming home more often and no more lies" or "it's over" he didn't react at all for more than 3 weeks and even after this time I had to contact him several times before he answered my texts/calls so we could sort out things.
* He never even apologized for lying to me.
* He never apologized to me when I told him that something had hurt me, usually then he himself was offended and hurt because he said he tried his best and it was never enough, he couldn't to anything right (like when he "forgot" to call me after work on a Saturday when we had arranged to go for a coffee after work and I had already driven 50 min to meet him - he then was pissed at me because he didn't mean to hurt me he just forgot... but how can you forget that we meet after 3 days of not seeing each other? And usually he called me every day after work anyway, just not this time... Yes, that hurt! And I told him. My fault. How could I... am I too honest?)
* He still thinks he did the right thing and that he is the poor one now, feeling so dead inside, only his work keeping him alive... no idea if that's true...
* I will never know if he actually betrayed me because I can't believe a word he says, but emotionally he did betray me by phoning with his female friends at any time of day and night and talking to them about me whilst I knew nothing about them and had never a chance to get to know them.
* He always complained to his female friends about me and talked to them about me, but he never came to me to talk about all this stuff with me. Coward!
* He described himself as empathic, I just wonder with whom and where... not with me that's for sure...
* I was grateful for each tiny bit of love and affection he gave me.
* Months before his final exam he was sulking about how he wanted to celebrate with his colleagues but he couldn't because I would throw a tantrum then - he never talked about how the both of us would celebrate - that hurt too... and showed the worth I had for him: NONE!
* He always told me how much he loved me, that he didn't want to be a second without me, that he wanted to grow old with me, that he would support and love me each day - and now he's gone. Just like that. Found an easier better life obviously. So he lied about that too.

This list is long and I'm sure there's more... of course there are many positive things to say about him as well, he could be loving and caring and fun and sex was great etc, but the negative outweighs the positive by far and in this negative list you find all the basics for a relationship that were missing... trust, communication, loyalty, consideration, courage, openess, sensitiveness, honesty, faithfulness, commitment, reliability etc.... so yes, even if it hurts and I miss him so badly, I'm better off without him!

Thanks for reading this!
Kyeema