Am I just overreacting or is this really nuts?

[grneyedgirl]

You can see more "fake photos" on my Facebook profile. Tracy *****
I didn't realize that spilling my guts would get so many mean responses. Yes, it is
a weird situation, but very real I assure u.
Have a great day,
Tracy

[Wakeup]

I'll pass, thanks. Some peoples "kids" will do anything for attention.

Yes, it is a weird situation, but very real I assure u.

You should be slightly ashamed to admit that you'd stay in such a situation and then admit that it's real. What's missing in you, I ponder?

[ctr916]

You can see more "fake photos" on my facebook profile. Tracy Taylor
I didn't realize that spilling my guts would get so many mean reaponses. Yes, it is
a weird situation, but very real I assure u.
Have a great day,
Tracy

I still think you are a nice person.

[grneyedgirl]

I'll pass, thanks. Some peoples "kids" will do anything for attention.

You should be slightly ashamed to admit that you'd stay in such a situation and then admit that it's real. What's missing in you, I ponder?

My grammar skills must be really lacking if you think that a child wrote that. Listen, I know what my head and my heart say to do.I have struggled with these issues for months. I think that like most of people who submit questions on here, I was simply looking for confirmation of what needed to be done. What I wasn't looking for were the rude remarks. My heart hurts enough knowing what must be done ok? So, please, enough with the garbage.
One last thing, I may have been stupid to admit to what was going on, but at least I was honest. Which in my opinion is much better than the alternative. I never once said that I was going to stay in this relationship. You can't help who your heart falls for and had I known that all of this was going to transpire I sure as hell would have stayed away.

[grneyedgirl]

I still think you are a nice person.

Thank you ctr916. That was sweet and couldn't have came at a better time.

[Murray]

Hi,

sadly, it seems to me that you are No2 in this relationship and will be for a very, very long time if not forever. He's nowhere near past his wife, in fact he's actively still pursuing her and the fact that he told you she was his choice but she turned him down should tell you the reality.

Sorry if this is harsh, but it;s a fact - he's into you for a good time and stuff, but it's his wife who he really wants and you won't ever change that.

If you are happy with this, which you seem you're not, stick with it. But if you;re not, leave as it won't change I'm afraid.

Best wishes.

[grneyedgirl]

Thank you for being so nice in your responses. When that man asked if I was a troll , I took it as being a homely unattractive person.That is why I put my pic on here. I thought he was hinting at the fact that I must be so "trollish" that I couldn't get anyone else, so I put up with Ed's crap and all of the garbage with his ex-wife.. This is real, I am real , & the whole thing is so confusing to me. There are a lot times when I see a glimmer of change. We actually quit seeing as much of each other back in October. He's a fireman so he works 24 on 48 off.We saw each other a lot in the beginning. Even though we live 5 hours apart we managed to see each other once a week. Now it's more like once a month. He was really starting to feel the pressure from both sides. He told me that if she called and he didn't answer and she knew that he was at work , he didn't get crap from her at all. If she knew that he was with me or in Oklahoma , her bitching became 10 X worse. Of course he got it from me too, complaining about setting boundaries & that our relationship or where he was should be none of her concern. If he still wanted her, why hasn't he let her come home in all of these months? I really truly believe that they aren't having a sexual type of thing going on. He says that he doesn't want to get back with her because there is too much water under the bridge and that the reason that he had asked her before we started seeing each other was to prevent this sort of thing and also because he's stubborn and kept feeling like he had failed a 20 year marriage. I was ok with it because they had kids together and I didn't want this sort of thing going on either. I am only the second person that he's dated in 4 years . The first one was for a very short time.. she wanted to get serious and he ran. This isn't from his mouth. I have heard it from several of his friends and other firefighters. He said that if it weren't for our history together(high school) that he wouldn't have even been willing to try being in a relationship again.

I just don't understand it all. I feel like sometimes he tries sooo hard. He does try to make things special. He rented a house on the lake in Hot Springs for my Birthday. He's been looking for a new motorcycle lately and talks about it has to have a backrest for me...I am convinced that he sees me in his life, and it would have been much easier to just have ended it back in October v/s slowing it down somewhat. I just don't get it.
I just don't see why he can't cut the strings from her. I don't want him to hate her.. I just don't want him to make her so important of a priority. He can't have the same friendship with her that he did have before he was in a relationship. Why does it all have to be so hard?
Thank you for reading my drama. I really need someone to listen otherwise I wouldn't have laid all of my business out in public. This is all just ripping my heart out.
Tracy

[Wakeup]

Tracy: Why can't you accept (see) that you enable him to treat you as an option? You nag him for what you want but you never stop taking him on whenever he wants to be with you. You let him have his cake and eat it too and why would any man give up the best of both worlds if they don't have to?

Stop believing everything his fellow firefighters say. They are a comradship and they will say / do anything that needs doing to help their brother maintain the status quo. If he doesn't show you in actions that he values you the way you want and deserve to be valued then you are just an option to him. Tell him to make a decision and leave you alone until he's made up his mind. You nagging him is not making him change or choose.

If he doesn't choose you then try finding a man within easy driving distance so that you don't find yourself the part-time lover to a man with much baggage once again.

Good luck. Be strong and open your eyes to the truth.

[grneyedgirl]

Tracy: Why can't you accept (see) that you enable him to treat you as an option? You nag him for what you want but you never stop taking him on whenever he wants to be with you. You let him have his cake and eat it too and why would any man give up the best of both worlds if they don't have to?

Stop believing everything his fellow firefighters say. They are a comradship and they will say / do anything that needs doing to help their brother maintain the status quo. If he doesn't show you in actions that he values you the way you want and deserve to be valued then you are just an option to him. Tell him to make a decision and leave you alone until he's made up his mind. You nagging him is not making him change or choose.

If he doesn't choose you then try finding a man within easy driving distance so that you don't find yourself the part-time lover to a man with much baggage once again.

Good luck. Be strong and open your eyes to the truth.

Thank You. I talked to him tonight. Obviously he can't see what he's doing. He said that he always wants her as his friend and has no interest or plans for anything else in the future. I told him go be her friend then and that I am not doing this anymore. I also told him that he will never be in a healthy relationship as long as she's in the big middle of things calling all of the shots . It's funny how life works. I never thought that I could be in a position like this. I've always considered myself as a take no BS kind of girl. Thanks for the kick in the arse.