My Dilemma

[jameswalker]

Hey all,

I need some advice.

I have been seen this girl for a few months now. We are not official, we are more like friends with benefits. I think she is a great person and is also great between the sheets but I just don't feel my heart racing every time she is near.

A few months ago I was returning from a business conference and the girl I am seeing, Linda, picked me up from the train station. When I got in the car I was very tired and I just wanted to go home and sleep. But Linda invited me to her friends birthday party. I did not really want to go since I was tired and stinky from my train ride lol. But we ended up going.

When we arrived to the house there were some people there just hanging out and I began to drink so I was a little buzz. But there was this girl there that I can't get off my mind. Something about her. She just seemed very kind and gentle and just stood out the most to me.

But I couldn't really approach her because I was with Linda and well Linda really likes me so this girl was out of reach.

I am stuck because I don't know how to tell Linda that I am not that into her. I have this desire to find the girl from the party and get to know her more. For the past 3 months I haven't been able to get her out of my mind.

Does anyone have any advice on how to break it to Linda that I am not into her?

The problem is if I push her away completely I will likely never see her friend again and well I want to pursue this girl and get to know her.

Also, am I going crazy or does love at first sight really exist?

[pisces25]

I think lust at first sight exists. Love is deeper than that. But sure it can be that someone gives you those feelings upon seeing them for the first time.

I see your conundrum re the girl and Linda and I don't know what advice to offer coz I'd probably be asking the same thing! Do you know if Linda wants something more to develop between you and her?

[jameswalker]

Yes, I am pretty sure that Linda thinks I am the one. She says she doesnt need anything more than what we have but she has grown very dependent on me. She would sleep over almost every night and I just dont feel any sparks.

[Bella82]

You seem to be certain you're not that into her now, and that you won't be in the future. It's easier for both of you, especially Linda, if you're honest. Sure it hurts, but it hurts more to be strung along.

[jameswalker]

There is no doubt that a part of me cares for linda as a friend and lover but I just can not get the girl from the party out of my mind. I know many don't believe in love at first sight and instead think its lust at first sight, however I don't think that's the case here. I fall in lust at first sight every time I see a beautiful woman walking across the street or wherever but I tend to lose interest in a matter of minutes. I'm sure its not meant to be and to give everyone the update, I don't think its meant to be and I've given up. I don't think the universe is on my side on this one, not now anyway. Maybe I'm not worthy? Who knows. But as bob would say, I don't have the courage to get up and take another shot or something like that. Cheers!