Am I just his f*** buddy?

[jnr1005]

I agree with the ask him to actually go out sometime. I have a similar situation, met a guy..drank to much and well...ended up hanging out for 4 days/nights in a row... which had me asking the same thing. Since then he has texted me every day and we will going on a date this weekend. Plus all his friends are telling me how much he says he likes me. (Only reason 2 weeks off is bc his kids are in town with him..but he still calls and texts when they go to bed.) So there is a chance he may actually like you, but deff try to get out and do somethings. If he is only interested in the sex he will prob find some excuse to not go on a date with you.

[Henry123]

Just get rid of him. Oviously if he doesnt even know your last name & shown no interest to know you, its a pretty good sign its about sex only.

[HeartIsAching]

Do you have an actual rationale or should we just take your word for it?

It's basically the same thing with a different name.

[ctr916]

FYI the majority of my friends are male...where do you think I get most of my information....in terms of losing respect....it means the guy's attitude towards a girl that sleeps with them right away DOES change. I've talked to many guys about this and they have all been there and hit that and say the same thing about it. I have seen my GF go through this many times with guys and she couldn't get it in her head why they didn't want a relationship....duh.

I'm sure there has been the rare occasion it has bloomed into something more....but there's usually that nagging voice in the back of a guys head that says "If it was that easy for me to sleep with her, will she do that again with someone else?"

I am not impressed with any fallacy of appealing to the people, regardless of how sore a woman may be afterward.

You may have missed the concept; I simply claim it is no Reason to lose respect for someone, even if she is a girl. How many women claim that guys lower their standards to an equivalent to being as easy? Are you also claiming that women lose respect for men while clamoring for relationships?

Do some guys resort to fallacies and have double-standards, yes they do. How much of that is simply a learned behavior with no valid rationale?

As to why they didn't want a relationship, it may be due to men not getting used for sex as easily as women until men clamor for a relationship and are able to play similar games women do without using money; we are not that different because we are all homo sapiens. How many women have commitment phobia after getting used for sex until they clamor for a relationship; why do you believe guys would be any different?

How many of those same guys would have that same attitude with a female boss who may be promiscuous? If they are not consistent, who really is being more honest?

[ctr916]

It's basically the same thing with a different name.

Do you believe in nuances? It may be the same to many women, but then I have noticed that many women seem to have a one track mind regarding relationships; and, if it does not fit that preconceived notion, women may not feel the need to distinguish; but it is not the same and they are not identical twins.

[bittersweet00]

WOW guys, I didn't expect for everyone to argue about all of this.

I understand I might be contradicting myself on a lot here. My lack of experience in this should not excuse the fact that I'm doing it. However, I am pretty clueless about what to do next. I've never gone through it before.

To be honest, I do like the guy, he's attractive, thinks I am too, and when we see each other we definitely talk more than just in the bedroom. I've gotten to know him a little bit in the past few weeks... I just don't really know what his intentions "long term" are. I honestly like what I have going with him right now, and I definitely agree that I probably fit in the friends with benefits category.

I have no bad intentions towards him, if I asked him about possibly dating, and he tells me he just wants to have fun with me and this is as far as he wants to take things, then fine. I'm single for the first time in years and I don't mind having someone there to have a good time with. I'm not sleeping around with other people so I'm not worried about that.

Thing is, I don't know if he's doing the same things with other girls that he does with me. For all I know he could be taking a new girl home every night. I guess I'm just looking for honesty....is that a stupid thing to want in a situation like this?

[HeartIsAching]

WOW guys, I didn't expect for everyone to argue about all of this.

I understand I might be contradicting myself on a lot here. My lack of experience in this should not excuse the fact that I'm doing it. However, I am pretty clueless about what to do next. I've never gone through it before.

To be honest, I do like the guy, he's attractive, thinks I am too, and when we see each other we definitely talk more than just in the bedroom. I've gotten to know him a little bit in the past few weeks... I just don't really know what his intentions "long term" are. I honestly like what I have going with him right now, and I definitely agree that I probably fit in the friends with benefits category.

I have no bad intentions towards him, if I asked him about possibly dating, and he tells me he just wants to have fun with me and this is as far as he wants to take things, then fine. I'm single for the first time in years and I don't mind having someone there to have a good time with. I'm not sleeping around with other people so I'm not worried about that.

Thing is, I don't know if he's doing the same things with other girls that he does with me. For all I know he could be taking a new girl home every night. I guess I'm just looking for honesty....is that a stupid thing to want in a situation like this?

What you need is honesty - and that's commendable. That means you're willing to be honest.

So if you want to know if you're exclusive, ask him. If you don't like his answer, walk. If you don't believe his answer, say so and walk. Don't take chances with your health.

[jjpm]

You set the stage when you slept with him upon meeting him. Then you slept with him again. And again, all of this involving no going out/ date-like get to know each other activities. Of course you're just f**k buddies. It's now an uphill battle to reshape what you've already started. Not that transitioning to dating is impossible, but like they say in that he's just not that into you movie...you're gonna have to be "the exception".

[smackie9]

WOW guys, I didn't expect for everyone to argue about all of this.

I understand I might be contradicting myself on a lot here. My lack of experience in this should not excuse the fact that I'm doing it. However, I am pretty clueless about what to do next. I've never gone through it before.

To be honest, I do like the guy, he's attractive, thinks I am too, and when we see each other we definitely talk more than just in the bedroom. I've gotten to know him a little bit in the past few weeks... I just don't really know what his intentions "long term" are. I honestly like what I have going with him right now, and I definitely agree that I probably fit in the friends with benefits category.

I have no bad intentions towards him, if I asked him about possibly dating, and he tells me he just wants to have fun with me and this is as far as he wants to take things, then fine. I'm single for the first time in years and I don't mind having someone there to have a good time with. I'm not sleeping around with other people so I'm not worried about that.

Thing is, I don't know if he's doing the same things with other girls that he does with me. For all I know he could be taking a new girl home every night. I guess I'm just looking for honesty....is that a stupid thing to want in a situation like this?

Well this is when you don't end the night with sleeping with each other, and just say goodnight and go home alone....then just spend your time going out together for awhile. Like the other poster had said, if he doesn't call back or goes distant on you, you have your answer.

[Henry123]

WOW guys, I didn't expect for everyone to argue about all of this.

I understand I might be contradicting myself on a lot here. My lack of experience in this should not excuse the fact that I'm doing it. However, I am pretty clueless about what to do next. I've never gone through it before.

To be honest, I do like the guy, he's attractive, thinks I am too, and when we see each other we definitely talk more than just in the bedroom. I've gotten to know him a little bit in the past few weeks... I just don't really know what his intentions "long term" are. I honestly like what I have going with him right now, and I definitely agree that I probably fit in the friends with benefits category.

I have no bad intentions towards him, if I asked him about possibly dating, and he tells me he just wants to have fun with me and this is as far as he wants to take things, then fine. I'm single for the first time in years and I don't mind having someone there to have a good time with. I'm not sleeping around with other people so I'm not worried about that.

Thing is, I don't know if he's doing the same things with other girls that he does with me. For all I know he could be taking a new girl home every night. I guess I'm just looking for honesty....is that a stupid thing to want in a situation like this?

You see alot of good pick up artists know what buttons to push on women to get into her pants.
Even the whole texting thing and telephone thing. Everything from talking to you to deal with your objections to reframing your view of the situation to "kino" the use of touching (to induce attraction to arousal) to body language to creating stories of higher value (his) to befriending your friends to family members (getting social approval) to get to you. I've been into the material for about 10 years aprx.(give or take) now (not that I am an 'expert'. And not that I agree with the seduction community. I have my issues with them).
Some will keep leaving you to think you'll get that "Gold Nugget" (relationship) one day but will never will. People have wasted precious time and life from this.
Dont let him be your drug supplier and you his crack addict (thats what emotional addiction can do to you). Some alot of these guys will Never give you an answer that your looking for. Thats one of many reasons why I think it messes people up.

Your priorities are mixed up. You should have gotten relationship first befo sex- not the other way around.
You didnt set up conditions. Maybe you still can?? relationship or no sex

As for message texting thing:
[url=http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Seduce-a-Girl-Via-Texting---Three-Principles&id=2079028]How to Seduce a Girl Via Texting - Three Principles[/url]
[url=http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Text-a-Girl---Deadly-Text-Message-Seduction&id=1534609]How to Text a Girl - Deadly Text Message Seduction[/url]

Yes people in the seduction community often has a string of women. Men love variety you know.
Why would they settle for less if they had the power to manipulate so many women? (rhetorical)

But in the end I find the seduction community exploitive, hurtful and emotionally & psychologically damaging to alot of women. And many of the guys become sociopathic towards women. Bewarn.

[ctr916]

How many women claim they would be better off "downgrading" a boy friend with benefits relationship to a booty call relationship? Is it more about women having issues with "appearances" rather than trying to be a friend to a guy? One guy I know refused a potential booty call relationship because the girl refused to return his emails and calls in order to be on the same page as to when to come over to spend some quality time together; he is even into massage.

[Wakeup]

You see alot of good pick up artists know what buttons to push on women to get into her pants.
Even the whole texting thing and telephone thing. Everything from talking to you to deal with your objections to reframing your view of the situation to "kino" the use of touching (to induce attraction to arousal) to body language to creating stories of higher value (his) to befriending your friends to family members (getting social approval) to get to you. I've been into the material for about 10 years aprx.(give or take) now (not that I am an 'expert'. And not that I agree with the seduction community. I have my issues with them).
Some will keep leaving you to think you'll get that "Gold Nugget" (relationship) one day but will never will. People have wasted precious time and life from this.
Dont let him be your drug supplier and you his crack addict (thats what emotional addiction can do to you). Some alot of these guys will Never give you an answer that your looking for. Thats one of many reasons why I think it messes people up.

Your priorities are mixed up. You should have gotten relationship first befo sex- not the other way around.
You didnt set up conditions. Maybe you still can?? relationship or no sex

As for message texting thing:
[url=http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Seduce-a-Girl-Via-Texting---Three-Principles&id=2079028]How to Seduce a Girl Via Texting - Three Principles[/url]
[url=http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Text-a-Girl---Deadly-Text-Message-Seduction&id=1534609]How to Text a Girl - Deadly Text Message Seduction[/url]

Yes people in the seduction community often has a string of women. Men love variety you know.
Why would they settle for less if they had the power to manipulate so many women? (rhetorical)

But in the end I find the seduction community exploitive, hurtful and emotionally & psychologically damaging to alot of women. And many of the guys become sociopathic towards women. Bewarn.

Read that and listen up ladies. In fact, you should read the PUA material yourself so that you'll know whats happening to you when it's happening so that you can exit before you're "emotionally and psychologically" damaged.

[Henry123]

Thanks Wakeup. It needed to be said.


I should also add. The seduction community industry is also exploitive. They are way way over priced. Alot of them dont tell you they only give you tid bits of information (incomplete information) or make you think you need also this and this product etc etc... or you wont get the girl. Just to keep you hook on buying their products. Have good sales pitches and feed them fantasies. They exploit people financially big time.

[bulrush]

Like your momma always told you if you give it up right away, the guy will not respect you.

Ok. I HAD to comment on this. From what I've heard, that might be true about most men. I guess I'm not like most men. If a girl is so confident that she jumps into bed with me early, I find that very interesting and I want to get to know her for a more serious relationship. To me, she is decisive and knows what she wants. If she wants a good lay, and is honest about it, fine. But now she has me interested in something more. Of course I'm on the lookout for "crazy chicks" with issues too. Usually I can spot these on the first date. And I don't sleep with anyone on the first date.

I guess I don't go around assuming things, especially about my dates. I try to get to know them first.

If you don't like the casual relationship, then stop.

[ctr916]

In my opinion, a guy can never have too many girl friends with benefits who know when to get a guy to clamor for a relationship, simply because it would be good for him and do it sincerely as a friend.