Feel scared

[Boisdevie]

I really don't know what to do. To paraphrase Pink Floyd here are the basic facts
1. I'm 47, she's 40
2. Been together 10 months.
3. See each other every weekend.
4. Live 90 minutes apart.
5. I love living where I love.
6. She loves living where she lives
7. Every weekend is wonderful

But, I'm asking myself if we get married, spend all our time together will it work? I can't move and neither can she. At my age I should know what to do but don't - which just goes to prove that age and sense dont' always go together.

[misombra]

Somebody will have to sacrifice. Who makes more money? Gotta go where the money is.

[Wakeup]

Can you move to the middle and you both commute? 9o mins is not that far away. I have friends that commute over an hour everyday just to get to work. If you're serious about committment and moving the relationship beyond the honeymoon period then the 90 mins wouldn't even be an issue for either of you.
10 Months of weekends is hardly any time invested in each other at all. Perhaps in time you'll discover that you don't like her enough to move or you like her so much moving will not be an issue.

[Boisdevie]

Where she lives is close to her job 5 mins and she has 2 kids who go to schoo 50m away so it's not easy for her to move. And the house where I live I have renovated completely and so I'm really attached to the place - and my veg garden and my poultry. So it's a hard decision to make. Just a bit more info.

[Wakeup]

Well, as I said you've only been seeing her for 10 months of weekends.. that's 4 x 3 days = 12 days x 10 - 120 days. Too soon to make any decisions about moving at all as far as I'm concerned.

You both know the deal so I'm wondering why you even bothered to get to know one another if neither one of you are willing to budge on where you'd live should the relationship progress past the weekend fk fest stage... (I say that without sarcasm).

[Henry123]

If your concern with with the age gap. There isnt much of an age gap.
There are alot of people hooking up with each other 10, 15 even 20 years differences etc.

As for the home thing thats a tough one. One or the other might have to compromise (but I wouldnt commit just yet unless you two are getting married and its a 100% sure thing or its going to leave one of you in a bad position). Its waaay too soon at this stage your in. See how the relationship works out for a couple of years first.

Too bad you two cant get a home in between the booth of your residences??
*Or maybe she lives at your place for a month and then you go live at her place for a month (going back and forth like that). Its a possible compromise. Something might be work out between the booth of you.

[Petit Papillon]

Kids > cosy place and garden , for sure . Do you really love her? I mean, you choose a house and some plants over normal life and future with a living woman . Ask yourself if this relationship has any future and decide.

[Bonfire]

If you plan on marrying this woman, then I think you should rent out your place so you can still keep it and move to where she is. Find a new house that you both like and start a new life together. Remodel the new home like how you did with the old one. Overtime, you might even like your new home more and you can decide if you want to sell the old one or you can continue to keep it and rent it out. This way you have both, the house you are attach to and a marriage life with the women you love.