In trouble bigtime :(

[regenerate]

hello guys just wondering about being pointed in the right direction. This is quite a heavy 1


I always wanted kids around the age of 30, of course nothing before as I dont feel emotionally ready at all.

Been with my girlfriend for 5 months, we are both in our early 20's.

The first time we had sex I actually asked her "is it ok to cum in you?". She told me it was fine meaning thats more than obvious that she has taken contraception.

A month or 2 later she said she had pains down below and wondered if she could of caught anything from me. She asked if I had ever had unprotected sex before. By that to anyone it would of meant without a condom since even having sex while the girl is on the pill or patch or whatever its still not unprotected. I told her I havent and soon enough the pains went and we carried on as usual.

The relationship was under a lot of strain after, I felt things had reached the end. Time together was no longer the same as when we first met and I felt unhappy in the relationship. We talked a lot and the end conclusion was that she didnt think things had reached the conclusive end yet. I agreed we could try for another month or 2 and if things didnt improve then we have to call it a day for good.

As time went on the sex life started becoming awful. I didnt fancy having sex at all, she got so upset and started to not feel wanted. In an effort to try and pull the relationship back into gear i tried to get back into having sex now and again.

3 weeks ago I was given the simply awful news that she is pregnant .

I have been in total shock for the past few weeks. I have spoken through everything with her. Said I thought she was using contraception and she told me she had never said that. What didnt make sense was that the first time we had sex I specifically asked if I could cum in her and she said yes. Surely nobody wants the risk of becoming pregnant after being in a relationship for just a few weeks? Her answer to that was that she didnt think she could get pregnant so it was almost contraception in its own way.

The hellish thing now is im being left with a few choices from her. She has said she now wants to keep the baby. A week ago she was bleeding heavily and not in a nasty way I felt maybe relief that she had lost it. That was not the case however and after she went to the dr's they said its all fine.

Im given the choice of not just having to accept her and the baby but also live like a family by moving town to our own place together to live. I live at home with my mother at the moment who is not well, she is terminally ill and that means having to leave her, the house would go downhill and in essence I would lose my mother .

Otherwise im given the option to just walk away, but she would still go ahead and tell my mother about it all, this equally causes strain on the household because my mum is not in a fit state to fully understand the situation and will never forgive me for giving up my baby.

What can I do? im not ready to move out yet. I cant compromise on it since she lives about 200 miles away, and has decided she will only move 20 or so miles away from there since she has a business to run as well.

[steviej]

Wow, dilemma!
Serious mis-communicaton there at the beginning, what made her think that she couldn't get pregnant?

What you have to do now is have a serious discussion with her about the future. I'm guessing she knows how seriously ill your mum is, that shouldn't be something you compromise on. If your mother relies on you for support you need to be there for her.

If you are planning on staying with the girl and playing happy families, then that can come later. This is quite a harsh question but how long has your mum been given with her illness?

Is there no way she'd consider an abortion?

[Charlie Boy II]

I don't suppose there's any point now looking at what went wrong, it's too late for that.

It's hard to know what advice to give. From what you write, moving in together seems like a bad idea. You obviously don't love her, and your mother needs you. In these circumstances, I would make your mother your first priority

[JadenMia]

Maybe next time you should wrap it up, before putting a woman in a horrible situation. Unloved and left with a baby.
She is ridiculous for letting you come inside her with no protection obviously, but now guess what.. Take some f*cking responsibility. Both of you.

If you cant handle the consequences then you shouldnt be having sex. period.

[Wakeup]

I can't believe this story... However on the off chance it's real all I can say is I'm laughing my ass off at a guy who still lives with mom was silly enough to

with my girlfriend for 5 months, we are both in our early 20's.

The first time we had sex I actually asked her "is it ok to cum in you?". She told me it was fine meaning thats more than obvious that she has taken contraception.

One trust some girl he hardly knows to tell the truth. How could you be so care free about STDs never mind becoming a father and worry so much about what mom will think. It's not anywhere near "obvious" that she is on contraception just because she lets you ejaculate in her.

Congratulations: You are now tied to a woman you barely know (well you know enough about her to know she's stupid and give you permission to ejaculate in her when she barely know you and what deseases you may carry and is not on BC). for the rest of your life due to this child. You also have the responsiblity to financial and emotionally care for your son/daughter for the rest of your life.

My advice. One, get a paternity test done when the baby is born (and before you allow your name on the birth certificate) you barely know this girl and for all you do know, she could have been preggers before you two started having sex (you don't give any time lines so ???) Then if you are the father, start paying child support and taking care of your responsibilities.

P.S. Please visit a Planned Parenthood office near you and educate yourself on birth control and safe sex. You're an irresponsible dweeb. Just how old are you anyway?

[HeartIsAching]

Exactly what I was thinking.

Tell her you won't sign a birth certificate with your name on it until a paternity test is done.

[Superfantastich]

This sounds alot like my boyfriends situation with his ex wife, do not live with her and definately do not marry her it will not work and will leave your child and you with the mess of having a parent move out. Can't tell you what to do exactly but just make sure it will work for you and your child in the long term. (Oh and I agree with the paternity test)

[Henry123]

Thats why you always use a condom (unless you plan to have a baby). Never presume.
Its incredible why these things keep happening. You keep hearing similar stories on this board alone.
I hope people would all learn something from this.

[Henry123]

Yeah its a tough situation.

If you dont drive a car your going to have to learn.
Your going to have to pay child support regardless.

Maybe you can have your mother move to close to where she is at and live there?

[Henry123]

(repeat post)

[regenerate]

thanks guys. Well I agree. She didnt think she could conceive because of her weight.

With any girl I have ever been with I have asked the same question if im not wearing a condom. For the women that said yes they were on the pill, for the 1's that said no I just did that outside and any other time we made sure I was wearing something. Bit harsh really was her thoughts that she couldnt conceive was contraception and mine was that she was on the pill or something like that.

My mother has had parkinsons for 10 years, shes getting worse and i know in the next few years there wont be any way to cope at all so I want all the time I can have making sure she is ok. She will never move. This is her home, the place she bought when she could work and no way would she ever leave it.


I know 10000% its mine because this girl never slept around, she was always loyal...too loyal in fact, she loves me more than anything in the world and never would or will do anything with anyone behind my back.

The thing is I have slept with about 20 women in my lifetime. The STD issue has never been a thing before because I know im clean and the girls I have been with would never compromise having an STD and as above really, i always asked

I dont see the part of having to move away any good, id be losing my friends, a job, to live with a girl I cant see the relationship working with at all

[Gratedwasabi]

thanks guys. Well I agree. She didnt think she could conceive because of her weight.

With any girl I have ever been with I have asked the same question if im not wearing a condom. For the women that said yes they were on the pill, for the 1's that said no I just did that outside and any other time we made sure I was wearing something. Bit harsh really was her thoughts that she couldnt conceive was contraception and mine was that she was on the pill or something like that.

My mother has had parkinsons for 10 years, shes getting worse and i know in the next few years there wont be any way to cope at all so I want all the time I can have making sure she is ok. She will never move. This is her home, the place she bought when she could work and no way would she ever leave it.


I know 10000% its mine because this girl never slept around, she was always loyal...too loyal in fact, she loves me more than anything in the world and never would or will do anything with anyone behind my back.

The thing is I have slept with about 20 women in my lifetime. The STD issue has never been a thing before because I know im clean and the girls I have been with would never compromise having an STD and as above really, i always asked

I dont see the part of having to move away any good, id be losing my friends, a job, to live with a girl I cant see the relationship working with at all

Based on your willingness to not use a protection and your overall lack of knowledge/idiocy I'd say you probably do have an STD, because you're obviously not the brightest and have never been tested and haven't regularly used protection.

It's sad that our world is getting overpopulated with idiots like you passing on their genes.

[Petit Papillon]

That sounds to me like she's either an idiot, or she was trying to make your a father . You're naive too , but well , you will find out on your own now that you have to suck it up and take the consequences on your chest .

[regenerate]

Thats a bit uncalled for wasabi. In fact I have been tested plenty of times regardless. In the past weather the women I have slept with have been on the pill or not I have always worn a condom. The 20 I have slept with have never been 1 night stands in fact I have got to know them for a month or 2 beforehand and been in a relationship with them. With almost every relationship it has been a mutual decision to end it.

The first "moment" doesnt always happen at the best time. This was the situation, I had sex with this woman with the knowledge she had been checked for an STD previously. So had I which of course every time came back negative. STD's are not even the issue here.

Im not trying to say im not naive about anything, im still young, im still not fully matured which I know and accept, but then when I try to do the sensible thing and was lead to believe contraception was used but it goes the other way then I feel that its difficult to even live with the consequences (had she told me "no im not on the pill or anything" then if this had happened it would be my fault and because of my risks).

[Henry123]

thanks guys. Well I agree. She didnt think she could conceive because of her weight.

Your putting all the fault & responsibility on her. Alot of the fault & responsibility falls on your shoulder too.