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Thread: In trouble bigtime :(

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by regenerate View Post
    The thing is I have slept with about 20 women in my lifetime. The STD issue has never been a thing before because I know im clean and the girls I have been with would never compromise having an STD and as above really, i always asked
    I dont see the part of having to move away any good, id be losing my friends, a job, to live with a girl I cant see the relationship working with at all
    Either you are really clueless or being a troll.

    First of all people lie about their sex history. And appearance is decieving. You CANT tell 100% if someone doesnt have an std. Its a popular myth that needs to die.
    Thats why they developed tests for std's.
    I want a girl who likes to talk. ......I just dont know what to say sometimes and would rather just listen.

  2. #17
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    maybe so, but shouldnt that go for anytime anyone has sex? i mean she believes this was the fact she couldnt conceive. What do other people do when they have sex? they make sure someone is on contraceptives or wear something. You dont ask to see the pill packaging or an implant certificate beforehand?

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by regenerate View Post
    Thats a bit uncalled for wasabi. In fact I have been tested plenty of times regardless. In the past weather the women I have slept with have been on the pill or not I have always worn a condom. The 20 I have slept with have never been 1 night stands in fact I have got to know them for a month or 2 beforehand and been in a relationship with them. With almost every relationship it has been a mutual decision to end it.
    Not a reliable indicator.
    std's can be dormant for months. People lie and cheat too.
    I want a girl who likes to talk. ......I just dont know what to say sometimes and would rather just listen.

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by regenerate View Post
    maybe so, but shouldnt that go for anytime anyone has sex? i mean she believes this was the fact she couldnt conceive. What do other people do when they have sex? they make sure someone is on contraceptives or wear something. You dont ask to see the pill packaging or an implant certificate beforehand?
    Its also your responsibility regardless.

    Of course responsibility should go for everyone who has sex.
    Responsibility rests on both shoulders. Any court will say that. You cant point your finger at one person and not also at yourself on this.
    Quite simply people lie or are grossly misinformed and it is your responsibility to take that into account when you Decided to have sex without a condom.
    Last edited by Henry123; 12-07-11 at 06:54 AM.
    I want a girl who likes to talk. ......I just dont know what to say sometimes and would rather just listen.

  5. #20
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    Now what to do with your mom situation.
    Its probably better that you stay with your mom. To keep the state off your back you need to pay child support (the state sees that the child's interests and well being comes first). You might have to travel up where your pregnant girlfriend is alot. At least it will help to keep them off your back. They cant write you off as a dead beat father if you do it this way.
    I wish you luck with that.

    Regardless you should speak to her. I'm not advocating abortion but it might be an option if time hasnt gone by long enough.
    Last edited by Henry123; 12-07-11 at 07:08 AM.
    I want a girl who likes to talk. ......I just dont know what to say sometimes and would rather just listen.

  6. #21
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    abortion sadly isnt an option, she 100% doesnt want to get rid of her baby and no matter what happens she will keep it.

    She has mentioned if I walked she wouldnt seek anything from me in regards to payment, im in a bad job with next to no cash and I cant afford anything really. I mean at the moment even £10 a week would be a nightmare, im constantly having to borrow on my wage to even buy food for the house

    My dad didnt want to know me and it was the simple thing where my mum moved away, he never paid a single penny for child support, lived his life and died a few years back.

  7. #22
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    (had she told me "no im not on the pill or anything" then if this had happened it would be my fault and because of my risks).
    It is your fault. Why would you even think that it wasn't? You are 100% responsible for your own sexual health and birth control. NEVER, leave or trust that to someone else. You've certainly learned that the hard way. Unfotunately it seems you still haven't learned a thing from this and you have to be spoon fed the information.

    Enjoy your new son or daughter. Financial responsibility and a woman that will likely stalk you if you don't marry her. Quite the price you're paying for the sensation of ejaculating in a woman you don't love.

    P.S. Get yourself tested. I'd hate to think you're going around spreading HPV (for one) to stuuuupid ass women and causing them to suffer cervical cancer.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 12-07-11 at 02:24 PM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  8. #23
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    Just noticed you're welsh, that explains a lot! :p

    She's trapped you, spun you a line or she's actually that stupid she belived her weight would stop her getting pregnant (fat or thin?)

    Honestly - don't move, stay where you are and break up with her. No point ruining 3 lives.

    Hope you learn from this op.
    "Never make someone your priority, when to them you are only an option"

  9. #24
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    Thanks, her weight is a big size. Doctors have apparently told her ages ago it would be very difficult for her to conceive.

    I think you are correct stevie. Gotta think theres no point staying with her and let her get on with it

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by regenerate View Post
    My dad didnt want to know me and it was the simple thing where my mum moved away, he never paid a single penny for child support, lived his life and died a few years back.
    It also depends on what country or area you are. Sometimes they just simply dont have the man power to track all those who dont pay child support.
    Some are cracking down severely on those who dont pay child support and what not or they crack down on you later in life.
    I want a girl who likes to talk. ......I just dont know what to say sometimes and would rather just listen.

  11. #26
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    well today I have found out shes a complete utter bitch.

    Because my job has low hours I got it in the neck months ago for not having much money so we couldnt do anything together.

    My work were sorta screwing me over and making me work the only days we could meet up so we got the plan into action to tell work that I cant work mondays, tuesdays or weds every week as I have a job elsewhere so we could have that time together.

    During my last week off I told her I wasnt going to do "stock check" (which pays more cash) because my money situation was fine and I dont want to do them favours.

    Anyways at work this week I was told that stock check is on monday tues and weds in august and I need to tell my "other job" that I cant work those days so can do stock check.

    Also today A member of staff wanted to swap my week off in september for their week off at the end of this month (I thought it would be perfect since I knew I would have to work otherwise on my birthday and she had booked it off just for me).

    On the phone I told her about my week off in july and got had a go at for doing it since she wanted to book the babys scan for the week im off in september. I explained I wouldnt be able to have my birthday off otherwise and still got had a go at.

    Then when I explained about possibly doing stock check she had a go at me again saying how much I hate that place and said why would I do them favours? I said it means a massive amount of cash that week but still I was in the wrong for going back on what I said (yea I did say I wouldnt do it originally to her but then my money situation became awful and I need the cash badly).

    I even have been feeling really depressed recently (was previously diagnosed with depression a few years back but now its back with a vengeance). I have nobody to talk to apart from her and my mother, I left my friends ages ago, got no brothers or sisters. She has quite a few friends to talk to and her brother.I feel low about the nightmare that I hate my job, but I have to do it for the cash, I feel low that my mums ill, I feel low that I have no cash, I feel low that I have nobody to talk to, I feel low that shes upset (as much as shes being a bitch and whatnot) but angry that im being made to either leave my mum and live a life with a baby im not too keen to have or walk away and have my mum find out and never forgive me.

    On the phone it was like I had been trying to do things that are right for us all until I have conclusively decided (getting more cash, getting my birthday off so we can have a nice day together) in what im doing. Anytime I said on the phone how I feel inside and how I have been getting low she told me shes exactly the same, n that shes low for being sick all the time, n she said its like im leaving her on hold whilst I decide what im doing so she cant plan anything. It ended with her crying constantly telling me she cant take it anymore and me putting the phone down. Great id get the blame for that now as well and be blamed if she loses the baby with the stress

  12. #27
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    Oh my, well she is pregnant. She is very emotional at this stage. Having said that, you need the work to be able to support your new fast coming family. She has to understand that. Have you tried talking to your mom about the sitiuation? Maybe she can try to talk to your lady, help her understand the delema you are facing.

    She is upset that your plans folded.

    You both seem very busy. Maybe you guys should try mini dates. You know take an hour a day and do something special together. That means the world to a woman. Even if you come home and hand her a single flower on a random day, or bring her home dinner. Massage her feet. The little things count. The little things mean the most.

    I hope i was of help

  13. #28
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    Never ever believe a girl if she says she can't get pregnant. Even if you talk to the doctor, and HE says she cannot get pregnant, don't believe it. Nature will find a way, there is ALWAYS a chance to get pregnant, unless her tubes are tied or she has no uterus.

    BTW, Michigan child support for 1 child for 18 years is $350,000. That's $1450 per month if the woman does not work.

    And a vasectomy is $500.

    Thank you. Have a nice day.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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