Once Married Man Still In Love

[Shiznay]

Hey everyone... Just sitting here in front of my PC and started thinking about my (I guess I can still call her) Wife. We are still legally married but in her eyes we are not... This is the story prepare yourself it’s a big one. About umm I don’t know three or four months ago my wife and I started having problems.. We started arguing more and what not you know the basic run down. But me being me a blinded by love I thought nothing of it really.. We would have a little fight I would apologize then be nice to her the rest of the day.. Even if it wasn't my fault the argument started I would still apologize just to end the argument so we could get back to being a loving couple. But then it started getting worse.. I work third shift so she is home alone with my seven month year old baby girl whom I adore and love with all my heart.. She is my little angel. Anyway one day I came home and she told me she had something to tell me....I said ok what is it. She said she had been seeing someone else and he has been coming over while I was at work and she might be pregnant. Well what do you think I did? I of course panicked and didn’t know what to think... I cried my eyes out for an hour or two and kept asking her why....why....WHY!?!? But then remembered that I love her and took her into my arms and asked her if she still loved me.. She said yes and she was sorry so I said never see him again and I will forgive you she said ok.

Well for a few weeks after that we were very loving towards each other but after a few weeks her fighting started again. So I got in touch with the guy she was pregnant by and meet him somewhere without her knowing he apologized to me and told me what he did to me and my family was wrong and he was thinking with the wrong head and asked how he could show me he was sorry.. I said if she ever tried to get back with you tell me or if you notice that she is seeing someone else tell me and he said ok.

Well a week later he called me at work telling me that someone she works with as been going to my house at night and he was there right now and that I should leave go home and catch her.. So I did. When I got home she wasn’t there so I called her on her cell phone which was normal because I always called her on my break before she would go to bed. She didn’t answer the first time I called so I waited about ten minutes and called again. She answered the phone all groggy and crap saying she was watching TV.. I asked her what was on and she couldn’t tell me.. I asked her where our daughter was and she said she was in bed but of course she wasn’t because I was standing in her room.. My plane was to stay there and wait till she got back and just catch her.. But I exploded with her direct lies and came out that I know she is with him and not home.. So she hung up on me and disappeared for the rest of the night.. I was up for 48 hours that day because I didn’t know where she or my daughter was....


Well this is already to long so I will try to wrap it up... Now she says she doesn’t love me and she can’t be with me and we are separated.. Nothing has gone thought the legal system yet though...She currently lives with her new boyfriend but her and I talk everyday mainly about our daughter but each other as well. Here is the killer part though she recently got the flu and couldn’t afford to go to the doctor so I took her and paid for it... because I still care for her and every few days I remind her by telling her little things like I love you (sometimes but rarely) or you can always talk to me and I call her princess and sometimes babe.. But anyway her being sick has put her into a needy position wanting love and attention and I show her it.. While at the doctor and in the car to and from I held her hand rubbed her back and ran my fingers through her hair...she loved it. Then today she asked me to bring her some soup and crackers cause she didn’t have any there and her b/f was at work so I said ok.... and on my way there she text me with the following texts...

"I can’t really talk to you when he is here. He gets mad at me. But I still have feelings for you. Cuz I had a dream when I was taking a nap that we were together.”

“I know I shouldn’t talk like that cuz even if I wanted to get back together with you, you wouldn’t get back with me. It’s best we have our space..I just miss you...”

“I am not saying that I want you back its just so confusing for me right now. I do care for him a lot, but some things he does are not as good as you.. You know...”

“You seem to care about me more and you know my likes and dislikes... I don’t know you’re just a little better.”

And then she changed the topic….. All I am asking is for your thoughts and suggestions on what I should think about what she is saying and how should I respond.. But keep in mind that I still love her with all of my heart she left me... But even though the love is there the trust she would have to earn and take a long time to do so... I told her I would not take her back until she figured out what she wanted in life because I couldn’t take being hurt in the manner that I was hurt in before... it would just tear me apart... well this has been long enough if you have any questions post and I will reply…. Thank-you for actually staying around and reading the whole thing…… see ya

[III Angie III]

She's cheated on you with two different men. It appears that you still love your wife and remain devoted to her and your marriage.
One may forgive a cheating mate the first time it happens however, she chose to put her needs before yours (and your daughters) by doing it AGAIN.

She's chosen to turn a marriage into a business deal. Treat it as such........ A Business Deal!
The trust has been broken therefore, there's not much left to work on.
Hold her accountable for her cheating ways by filing for divorce and seeking some form of custody of your child. Once you start respecting yourself, she will too!

Remove yourself from playing the role of "husband." It's obvious that she doesn't love you.... She loves the things in which you do for her.
Avoid listening to her sob stories.. as that's just what they are... sob stories.

Your heart is kind, and she knows that therefore, she's going to use you as long as you're willing to allow her to.

I'm sure her life now sucks however, keep in mind that it's one she's chosen!

You deserve much better! I'm wishing you the best of luck.

[III Angie III]

she text me with the following texts..."I can’t really talk to you when he is here. He gets mad at me.

That part really burns my a$$ up! Screw what he thinks.... as if you should care.
She's married to you, pregnant (no telling which one of you will turn out to be the Father) and living with another man yet, you're still willing to work on your marriage when she makes comments to you like THAT?
(unreal... :::shaking head::: )

[Junket]

I wouldn't believe she still loves you if she cheated on you twice and is still with one of those dudes. She's taking advantage of the fact you still love her in getting all this free health care. I say get custody of the baby and leave her, see if she comes running.

[Shiznay]

I thank you two for your posts but its just too soon for me to be able to hurt her....in that way as far as taking my child, like I said i still care for her. But basically everyone I have talk to are all amazed that im still dealing with her crap so to speak and not just cutting contact off with her all together. I think she is to young and ignorant to understand the concept of love and marriage and she now wants to see other people... but she should have thought about that sooner before "I do". She is only seventeen.....

[III Angie III]

You have to do what's best for your daughter. She should be the main focus. Yourself... next. Your cheating wife should come last.

[Junket]

She is only seventeen.....

Whoa...how old are you? Be honest. Oh...18? I looked at your profile. I see you play Halo 2, do you play on LIVE?

[Shiznay]

Whoa...how old are you? Be honest. Oh...18? I looked at your profile. I see you play Halo 2, do you play on LIVE?

Yeah im only 19 I will be married divorced and have a daughter by 20... kinda sad.. And Hell ya I okay Halo 2 my gamer tag is Shiznay if you wanna look me up.

[Junket]

Alright cool, look for a friend request from Frasbee. We can kill stuff and talk about how life can suck at the same time!

[Cybog]

Such exciting fun!