Anyone else with me here ?

[McRich01]

This is more of a rant/Letting off steam i guess, Sorry if it isn't what i should be posting on these forums.....

Ever since my ex breaking up with me 2 months ago or there about, I've been thinking the same old thought 'I need to disappear'.

Not in a suicidal way, But in a way which means me moving a good 300 miles south, And starting a completely fresh new start somewhere new and un-familiar.

I guess maybe i want to become someone, Not just existing, But living my life as i should be at 20. I suffer from Generalized anxiety disorder, And well, Maybe getting out of this small town will give me the peace i need to find who i am again. Although i'm over her, I just feel absolutely smashed into pieces.

I went from having everything, A good job, An amazing relationship, Money, Happiness, Friends, Family, to this. To having nothing. I seriously am at breaking point, 6 months ago i had it all. How can anyone be friends with me ? I have nothing, I am nothing.

I feel as if i haven't achieved anything in my life, What a shame this is ! I could be someone, I have a passion for photography, i love working, I love being someone.

How do you just disappear ?

I have a lot of good friends here, Who have stood by me, and have always been there, I don't want to just ditch them.

Sorry.

[smackie9]

Well first off I have to suggest you teach your self to enjoy being alone, independent, build a life for yourself. It is wrong to expect a man to give you a life...they should only enhance or be a part of what you already have. Being so dependent on a relationship will always leave you feeling so lost when it doesn't work out....kinda right where you are right now. It's best to be involved with groups that share your interests....this will lead to new friendship, social circles and new adventures to experienced. You will feel more reward doing things for yourself and not for somebody else.

[Emmalina]

We seem to be going through a very similar thing, I'm quite astonished at just how much I relate to every word in that post! I have been where you are and I have decided that I literally am moving 150 miles down south, right down to the coast for the same reasons as you've listed. I want to change myself and better myself so I have a brand new life that he doesn't even know about, I want to have something which is separate to my memories with him and I need the completely clean break.

For me it's been a really, really helpful step to take because I've focused so much on the move it's helping to organise and busy my mind, when I don't think of other things I am thinking of him so throwing myself into such a huge life change has been really absorbing and just a fantastic way to cope with these feelings. I don't love him anymore but I do miss him - most of all I miss being part of something which was so special, I miss having that sense of identity and feeling like I was worth something. I want to recreate that feeling without the need to depend upon someone else so I'm making it for myself and I'm starting fresh. Every day now instead of thinking about him I think about my new future; how I'm going to manage money, I've looked at job advertisements down there, I've made a flat shopping list, considered the different accommodation there... I can't wait to be able to sit on the beach, meet new people, not have to worry about bumping into him or seeing him with someone else, just to start totally over a long way from home where no one knows me. I'll get to be myself again, whoever I want to be and I cannot wait.

I will say this, you most definitely are NOT nothing. Your advice on here is brilliant, you seem like a genuinely nice person and most importantly you have the respect for yourself which has been driving you so fantastically forward in helping you to move on from your ex and the horrible situation you were left in. You have a passion for photography and interests which are the things which make you a somebody, work on those interests and absorb yourself in those things which make you feel important and involved and you will begin to see that you do have things in your life which make you far from nothing. Allow yourself to take pride in your photographs, do the things that make you happy and really consider your strengths and you will have already gone a long way towards rediscovering yourself.

Whatever you decide to do, put yourself first at this time. I think that the key to feeling like a somebody is to find yourself again and absorb yourself in things you love - you can find a new identity within yourself and the things you're good at.
Stick with it

[Beautyw6737]

I agree!

Do things for yourself. Everything happens for a reason, be it good or bad. Eventually you will understand why all of this is happening to you. Remember while you are going through this to take time to develop as a person. Some good books to read:

A new earth by Ekhart Tole.

The four agreements

Read these and disappear into your room for a couple of hours. Then get out and socialize again. By doing both you will be ok. good luck

[bloodtippedrose]

You don't need to disappear completely for a fresh start. I grew up in a small town so when my bf cheated on my I felt like it would just be best if I left because there was nothing there for me anymore, So i did! Ten hours away to a new state. No one knows me here so I can have new friends, have new adventures, and still keep in touch with my old friends through email/facebook. I don't think moving is as big a deal as people make it to be (unless theres a high paying job and kids in school involved).

[syrup]

Don't think you are nothing, you just had a dramatic change in your life and it will take time to heel. If you work at it things will get better and it will work out for the better, if you have to move to make that happen just do it. Be sure to think it through and have a good plan so things get better and not worse.

[Devilsbane]

Several times I've considered checking out monster to find a job on the other side of the country just to get away from everything and start new. There are too many memories around here that I get reminded of on a daily basis. But even that won't cut it because songs, commercials, and even seeing the type of car she drove brings everything back.

I've been considering the military since before I was out of high school but held back because my then girlfriend wasn't a fan. Now that I have nobody, this might be my chance to serve my country. Plus is I don't have to worry about my girl cheating because I don't have one!

[richy]

Don't think you are alone in this way.Don't think you are nothing, you just had a dramatic change in your life and it will take time to heel. If you work at it things will get better and it will work out for the better, if you have to move to make that happen just do it. Be sure to think it through and have a good plan so things get better and not worse.

[smackie9]

Old outdated THREAD!