Did they ever care?

[Hayden10]

I have really been feeling well the last couple of days, I am back to my happy and optimistic self again. There has been NC for 5 days. My question is, if someone that you dated did try to harm you emotionally, or in any other way, did they ever care or not?

[DarkHelmet82]

if they cared why would they try and hurt you?

[Hayden10]

easier to take your pain out to someone else, right?

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah thats why people do things like that.. it makes them feel better about themselves

[Hayden10]

glad they left

[bulrush]

if they cared why would they try and hurt you?

Some people are mentally ill, or REALLY dysfunctional, and they really believe their hurtful actions are how they show their love for someone else.

[pisces25]

If a person grows up in an abusive environment they get a skewed version of what love and care is. It is easy for them to pick up those behaviours and repeat them without even realising it. So yes I think someone can truly care but also hurt you. That was my ex.

[DannyH]

If a person grows up in an abusive environment they get a skewed version of what love and care is. It is easy for them to pick up those behaviours and repeat them without even realising it. So yes I think someone can truly care but also hurt you. That was my ex.

Not always true. I came from a screwed up and abusive family and it showed me what not to do. It gave me like the perfect picture of a codependent emotional abusive relationship. I saw how both sides were really screwing with each other and how neither of them want to change. Growing up with that crap made me realize what I don't want. Do my parents love each other yes do they hurt each other emotionally yes. It's a sick cycle and they have been doing it for 35 years and both of them are too scared to change it.

[kamazaki]

simple nope!

[pisces25]

Not always true. I came from a screwed up and abusive family and it showed me what not to do. It gave me like the perfect picture of a codependent emotional abusive relationship. I saw how both sides were really screwing with each other and how neither of them want to change. Growing up with that crap made me realize what I don't want. Do my parents love each other yes do they hurt each other emotionally yes. It's a sick cycle and they have been doing it for 35 years and both of them are too scared to change it.

Definately not always true but it is quite common. I am glad you were able to take a different road Danny.

[Mathias]

if they cared why would they try and hurt you?

Because people are emotional, vindictive trainwrecks. It doesn't mean their feelings weren't genuinely good at one time or another.