My bf spends too much money on me!

[sadie_genie]

She does not want him paying for her all the time no matter what you or your twin in nurse's clothing have to say... and I can tell you that any man who insists on NOT allowing her to pay for the odd meal will not last long with her or anyone else. Guarantee.

You really need to stop talking in generalizations and absolutes about women as if you can represent the whole gender and can predict the results of all relationships when your opinion is clearly contrary to many women's if not most women's opinion as shown here in this thread.

[Wakeup]

You really need to stop talking in generalizations and absolutes about women as if you can represent the whole gender and can predict the results of all relationships when your opinion is clearly contrary to many women's if not most women's opinion as shown here in this thread.

How rich!

*rolls eyes* That ^^^ coming from the woman that said "women will take a man in a suit over one with a big penis" As if you speak for all of us and then try to back up your crap with an article from some gossip news rag. * Tell me, how many failed relationships have you been in in your lifetime anyway?

[Wakeup]

yep, that's why we love this forum. i've always separated men into MEN and pussies (cunts, vaginas, etc) according to my standards.

Can't argue with that. I do the same.

[Petit Papillon]

Let me clear up some of the questions you all asked.

He is from Turkey. And no, I never really grew up poor....I've actually always been pretty fortunate. The birthday gifts he gave me were an evil eye ornament thing, a shirt, and a Turkish shawl. The evil eye and the shawl are both Turkish things, so I think they meant something to him Traditionally, the evil eye is given to someone who is talented, beautiful, etc. to protect them from jealously or gossip. I thought it was actually pretty sweet!

But we have known each other less than a month, and became "official" very recently. So everything seemed over the top.

However, I think he has good intentions and maybe him paying makes him feel like a man. I don't know.

Wow, I thought he bought you like... Gold, really expensive parfumes or a Gucci bag ... Evil eye ornament thing hard to tell what is it but it doesn't sound expensive... Meaningfull maybe, but not expensive. So I really don't see a problem. For him it could be significant to giving a handmade gift...

[vashti]

Let me clear up some of the questions you all asked.

He is from Turkey. And no, I never really grew up poor....I've actually always been pretty fortunate. The birthday gifts he gave me were an evil eye ornament thing, a shirt, and a Turkish shawl. The evil eye and the shawl are both Turkish things, so I think they meant something to him Traditionally, the evil eye is given to someone who is talented, beautiful, etc. to protect them from jealously or gossip. I thought it was actually pretty sweet!

But we have known each other less than a month, and became "official" very recently. So everything seemed over the top.

However, I think he has good intentions and maybe him paying makes him feel like a man. I don't know.

Turkish/middle eastern men are very traditional, and these gifts are not at all extravagant according to their culture. I myself wear a Hamsa pendant, and know they aren't outrageously expensive. (I never heard about the story that they are given to talented, beautiful people, though. They were originally given to PREGNANT women to protect the jealous, evil spirits from stealing their babies, according to what I heard.)

If you want to date a man from the Middle East, you had better be prepared to make him work hard for your approval, or risk losing his respect. what he is doing is simply the way things are done in his culture.

Wakeup - I don't suggest you ever date a man from a patriarchal country.

[sadie_genie]

How rich!

*rolls eyes* That ^^^ coming from the woman that said "women will take a man in a suit over one with a big penis" As if you speak for all of us and then try to back up your crap with an article from some gossip news rag. * Tell me, how many failed relationships have you been in in your lifetime anyway?

The difference is that your generalization is far from the general opinion.

As for that comment I made, it wasn't supposed to be read literally. But the underlying meaning was supported by an actual scientific study (referenced by the article) and the study itself is supported by well established evolutionary theory and studies. On top of that, as shown in this thread, I was quite right about that!

I don't see how the number of failed relationships is even relevant. Is this your way of diverting from the lack of substance in your advice?

[Wakeup]

The difference is that your generalization is far from the general opinion.

As for that comment I made, it wasn't supposed to be read literally. But the underlying meaning was supported by an actual scientific study (referenced by the article) and the study itself is supported by well established evolutionary theory and studies. On top of that, as shown in this thread, I was quite right about that!

I don't see how the number of failed relationships is even relevant. Is this your way of diverting from the lack of substance in your advice?

The no. of failed relationships is relevant to what I had to say in the post you quoted. You expect a guy to pay for everything, it's clear in this and every post you've posted on the subject. I just wonder how many relationships you've gone through and how many where you lost attraction.

@Vashti... no worries. I've been happily married for 30 years. No chance I'll be dating some man who gets his ego stroked through the use of his wallet. As I said, we all like to be treated and we all like to treat. We have kept it even in our happy union. He can cook his own dinner and does for us often... just as I do for him. He can buy dinner and he does often, just as I do for him.

S_G Your study may show that a woman will initially pick a man with money (a suit) however; it does not follow up to say how long that woman stays happy with the man in the suit nor does it show how many of them lost attraction to that man.

It's interesting that in the Ask a Man forum only two men (that I can tell) answered. Where are the men that always want to pay and how lucky are they in love in general?

Anyway, this particular OP doesn't want him to do all this showing of the wallet and if you're serious Op, then my suggestion is to simply make the effort to invite him out and let him know in advance that you're looking forward to treating him like he's been so generously doing.

[Petit Papillon]

To be honest, we shouldn't really judge if people can tell good advices only if they are also in happy relationships , because... Relationship takes two, one person can be perfect, do everything right, but it won't work if the other person screws it up ,you know? And anyway it's a failed relationship,even if the person 1 did nothing wrong... And then, we have pretty nice example on the forum , there is this guy, who gives almost always accurate advices and is very helpful to many members here , but then again, he makes major mistakes in his own relationship that even a blind person could notice,but he can't ... I am also in a happy relationship ,hopefully I'll stay in it forever , but I'm not much of a good adviser ,because I'm rather a person who do that naturally ,learn from my or other people's mistakes ...The point that someone can't give a good advice because wasn't in any long term succesful relationship is well ridiculous. Everyone can contribute here with as good advice. In the end, we post here our opinions.

But then again, majority wins!!!

[Wakeup]

PP, When you put your mind to it you always give decent advice. Anyway, My intention wasn't to say that only people in happy relationships can give good advice. People who actually learn something from a failed relationship give excellent advice IMO... It's the people that don't learn and continue to keep making the same mistakes, well that's who I wouldn't pay two cents to hear what they think.

But then again, majority wins!!!

There were winners and losers here? I was just enjoying a damn good debate.

[Petit Papillon]

There were winners and losers here? I was just enjoying a damn good debate.

Hello? You're totally losing it woman... At least 3:1 !!

jk

[Wakeup]

I'm just having a good debate. If you want to believe you won something then let me know where I send you the bottle of Campagne. lol besides, with me and the two other guys that actually responded to the topic at hand.. that makes it 3:3.

*sticks out tongue*. *j/k back*

[Petit Papillon]

It's not about who's winning it... It's about who's losing it!!!!

IN YOUR FACE!!!

[Wakeup]

It's not about who's winning it... It's about who's losing it!!!!

IN YOUR FACE!!!

So: it's a tie then . . . 3 to 3 (we're just including the opinion of those that actually count .. lmao.)

[HeartIsAching]

It doesn't mean that at all. It means that western women have a world-wide reputation as being takers and entitlement princesses. Unfortunately this thread verifies that rumour.

The Op has clearly stated that she does not like this man giving, giving, giving and just about everyone of the women who replied told her to just take what he offers and pay him back by making him dinner. Men these days know how to cook, they don't need a woman to make them dinner so that "reward" has losts it's value.

In this day and age of women being able to take courses and earn degrees that only men were allowed to earn and when women make just as much or more than men then the definition of what makes a "gentleman" when it comes to paying for everything no longer applies.

Equality means equal. Not equal in somethings but reverting back to the way things were when it suits us.

JMO. Whether I'm the enemy now or not *shrugs*

If she were happy with the situation that would be one thing but to basically tell her just to suck it up buttercup and take what he gives is quite another.

So glad I'm not the only one that thinks this way.

[sadie_genie]

The no. of failed relationships is relevant to what I had to say in the post you quoted. You expect a guy to pay for everything, it's clear in this and every post you've posted on the subject. I just wonder how many relationships you've gone through and how many where you lost attraction.

Isn't it clear that I still am (as well as many other women on this forum are) very much attracted to the generosity of men of that sort? I think, on that point, it is safe to say that the quality/role of a provider in a man can sustain interest.

I didn't think your inquiry into the number of failed relationships was relevant to the discussion because the discussion was not about my personal experience or yours. I was merely making an observation about the general opinion and desires voiced by the many female LF posters here. The majority consensus is that they ARE attracted to men who are able to take the role of the provider and are generous with his money while dating.

I'm just having a good debate. If you want to believe you won something then let me know where I send you the bottle of Campagne. lol besides, with me and the two other guys that actually responded to the topic at hand.. that makes it 3:3.

*sticks out tongue*. *j/k back*

You are just here for a good debate? LOL. More of a desperate assertion of your own beliefs and hostile reaction to those who disagree with you. And when you finally realize you lack support and is faced with widespread hostility and dislike, you retreat pretentiously in a facade of friendliness and pretend you are in it just for the "good debate"?

You are entitled to your opinion and beliefs. That's fine if that is how YOU want to be treated. But many women like the man to play the role of a provider (regardless of how capable they are of providing for themselves) because it makes them feel more of a woman and they feel like they have more of a man. There is no lack of morality here, it is just what many ladies desire. For men who want to go dutch, there is no judgment from me either and they should find a woman who shares the same perspective. I hope you will not continue to judge people who don't share the same beliefs as you by attaching some arbitrary morality tags to it.