Taking things slow

[wjl022]

So I'm seeing this girl. We had a thing a few years ago which petered out...nothing bad happened, life just seemed to get in the way. Fast forward to a few months ago, and we are hanging out again. We had a conversation where we both expressed liking each other and wanting to see what happens, but she also confessed that she wasn't ready for something serious and wanted to take it slow due to getting out of a "long" relationship not too long before we started hanging out again.

I think she is being honest and not just trying to keep me at arms length, but I've been having trouble with really accepting this. Mainly I don't really know how to take things which I'm excited about slow, and I don't understand the logic of wanting to do that if you are also excited about something. I am ready for a relationship with her, but I'm also willing to wait a bit if she's not. What I'm worried about is whether she actually sees this going somewhere or if I'm just a distraction, I don't have time for that.

Its been about a month since things went beyond friends and we had that conversation...give it some more time before having another talk or would you bring it up now if its a concern? I'm not looking to make her my girlfriend yet, a little more definition would be nice though.

[celestina]

I say bring it up now if it's a concern. You shouldn't be left hanging, and if she is as honest as you say she is, then she should be able to give you an honest response. If she can't do that, my guess is, she's not sure if she really likes you yet, and if this is the case, well this isn't fair to you. Waiting for someone to care, isn't easy, and you're entitled to know why and what exactly you're waiting for. No answer = she's not serious.

[bulrush]

YOU may want to go faster, but SHE doesn't. For minimal fighting, a relationship proceeds at the speed of the slowest person, or it doesn't proceed at all. If this is a problem for you, then you should find another girl.

[wjl022]

YOU may want to go faster, but SHE doesn't. For minimal fighting, a relationship proceeds at the speed of the slowest person, or it doesn't proceed at all. If this is a problem for you, then you should find another girl.

I'm okay with the pace, I'm just not okay with how she's been making me feel lately. To me there is a way to take it slow and still let the other person know you care, she doesn't really do that. I feel like I'm doing all the work and she's just along for the ride.

This could be real, or just confusion on my part...I dunno.