my bf's platonic friend

[Petit Papillon]

Hell no, no place for ex,ex **** buddies or ex whatever . I recall, we talk about a normal monogamous relationship, in normal case, such thing is a deal breaker . I think yet another guy got just confused and he thinks we talk about an open relationship or something
Seriously, if my bf talked to his ex fwb, he would end up in hell ... But oh well, my bf isn't so :p And he didn't have a **** buddy in the first place... Thank god,I for example, think it's not normal ,but it's just me, other people can do what they want

[Wakeup]

Just Another Guy: When you've been in a committed, exclusive relationship with a girl you love, lets talk then. I have a feeling you'll understand better what ALLLLL the women in this thread is trying to convey to you and to the Opening Poster who, like the rest of us would be, is concerned about where her bf's priorities lay.

There is obviously a sexual attraction between the two of them and I don't care who says differently when you're having continuous sex with someone, some form of bond developes and that type of bond should be reserved for OP and her boyfriend. He wants his cake and he wants to eat it too.

Unfortunately I don't think he values the oP like she values him or he'd back off with the ex **** buddy in fear of losing his gf. Of course if he knows his girlfriend is a door mat and will accept any shit he throws her way, then he has no fear of her leaving and will take advantage of that fact.

[Yet another guy]

I don't have platonic friendships with my FWB. Either it very quickly makes the jump into FWB, or it stays platonic. That's why people talk about how sex ruins friendships. Either someone gets attached or you just can't go back to the way things were and I've never met anyone different from myself. Sex tends to complicate matters whether we like it or not, so I simplify it all by separating sexual desire from my friendships. Perhaps if I gave myself a cooling off period (kinda like after a break up), I could try to reestablish the friendship. I'm good friends with a lot of my ex boyfriends, but even still I'd never try to hang out with them alone on a regular basis. Even if I met up with one for coffee, I'd make sure my SO was cool with it. That's showing proper respect for the priorities in my life (for me anyway).

I was presenting a hypothetical situation where you were in a similar situation to OPs boyfriend. I didn't meant that you actually were platonic friends with your FWB, you already made clear that you aren't.

I think that talking to ex boyfriends is something a bit different. There's love involved and such.

I'm just saying, I'd trust my gf not to **** her friends even if they are her ex FWB. Maybe I'm a fool.

[Yet another guy]

@Wakeup
Haha, if there is a girl who would be interested in a shy guy like me, maybe I'll find out.

[Wakeup]

I'm just saying, I'd trust my gf not to **** her friends even if they are her ex FWB. Maybe I'm a fool.

No, you're no fool. You're just inexperienced. May I suggest you stop using your shyness to keep you stagnated in inexperience and read some books, take some courses, join groups etc to allow your confidence to grow.

[lahnnabell]

I was presenting a hypothetical situation where you were in a similar situation to OPs boyfriend. I didn't meant that you actually were platonic friends with your FWB, you already made clear that you aren't.

I think that talking to ex boyfriends is something a bit different. There's love involved and such.

I'm just saying, I'd trust my gf not to **** her friends even if they are her ex FWB. Maybe I'm a fool.

Yeah, ex-BF's are a bit different. I know I don't love them passionately and I know I'm not sexually attracted to them anymore though. Technically, I could have a very normal friendship with them but I know that because it's rather taboo and would make my boyfriend uncomfortable, I wouldn't even bother asking. It's not worth destroying my relationship's foundation. And my exes know this too. I'm happy because a lot of them are now in very successful relationships and are working hard at jobs that they love. I would take that knowledge over regular hang out sessions any day.

My exes that remain bachelors are interesting because they only seem interested in contacting when it may be benefit them. I figure they're not worth it. Ohhhh well.

[Yet another guy]

No, you're no fool. You're just inexperienced. May I suggest you stop using your shyness to keep you stagnated in inexperience and read some books, take some courses, join groups etc to allow your confidence to grow.

Do you mean like PUA skill stuff? Those do seem to concentrate on my core problems. Maybe I will try them out.

[Wakeup]

Do you mean like PUA skill stuff? Those do seem to concentrate on my core problems. Maybe I will try them out.

Although I hate the end result of men who pass the PUA exams as they end up ball freaks who disrespect women very often, I do agree that the dictum does increase a guys confidence. Women love a confident man.

Actually, though I was referring more to joining an amature sports league, getting a job in commissioned sales (part time basis) so that you are forced to mingle and interact with people in order to make a buck, groups that hold interests in the same thngs you do. Joining a singles group like meetmarketadventures. com (great adventures for singles) those kinds of things.

Push yourself because you sound like you are a good guy (opposed to the dreaded *nice guy or skanky bad guy) and the dating women of the world need more good guys.

[Yet another guy]

Wow, thanks Wakeup I appreciate your opinion.

[Wakeup]

Wow, thanks Wakeup I appreciate your opinion.

You're welcome

Now get out there and if you join a baseball team let us know when you get to "first base." *grinz*

[DeFrank]

I have had issues with this and you have to think of it in a different light. He is choosing to be with you right? If he loves you, then he won't jeopardize that. He is with you for a reason. If he wanted his old f*ck buddy back, then you would be out the door.
If anything ever DID happen, you;ll probably find out. But who is to say you will? Sometimes you just never know. If he spends his time with you and chooses to keep you in his life as a priority then try to feel confident about that. Focus on that and the other "friends" are less threatening.
You can let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you don't want to drive people away with mis trust. Maybe let him know if he is ever to hang out with this person, that you would feel more comfortable being present. Good luck and try to focus on the fact that he has chosen you.

[lahnnabell]

I have had issues with this and you have to think of it in a different light. He is choosing to be with you right? If he loves you, then he won't jeopardize that. He is with you for a reason. If he wanted his old f*ck buddy back, then you would be out the door.
If anything ever DID happen, you;ll probably find out. But who is to say you will? Sometimes you just never know. If he spends his time with you and chooses to keep you in his life as a priority then try to feel confident about that. Focus on that and the other "friends" are less threatening.
You can let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you don't want to drive people away with mis trust. Maybe let him know if he is ever to hang out with this person, that you would feel more comfortable being present. Good luck and try to focus on the fact that he has chosen you.

Just because he chooses to keep his GF in his life, does not mean that he wouldn't cheat on her. Hopefully he won't cheat on her because he respects his GF, but judging from how indignant and childish he's acting about this whole issue, he needs improvement in that area as well. He's got help meet her half way, or she should just leave.

[mwahahaha]

You shouldnt have to ask him to stop seeing this broad. Open and shut case for me. Dude wants his cake and eat it.
Ultimatum time i think, me or the dog etc.

Braveness at the early stages of any relationship can save years of stress and bs. That fact you are posting on a forum about your bf and another bird should give u all the warning signals you need. Can a man and woman every be just friends? Only if both are a bit ugly imo. good luck

[Wakeup]

You shouldnt have to ask him to stop seeing this broad. Open and shut case for me. Dude wants his cake and eat it.
Ultimatum time i think, me or the dog etc.

Braveness at the early stages of any relationship can save years of stress and bs. That fact you are posting on a forum about your bf and another bird should give u all the warning signals you need. Can a man and woman every be just friends? Only if both are a bit ugly imo. good luck

Lots of truth to that summation. Lots of truth.

[sinVee]

Iv never posted on forums so beforer. I wanted to get others perspective on the situation. They started as friends and became fwb.I don't know ... id be guilty if he does end up losing a friend to be with me. It would be nice to know that im his priority thogh. But so far he did not indicate that he would do that for me. I will have a talkwith him. Will keep you guys posted on what happens:p