Lost

[Ericka]

when my fiance broke up with me (3 month this Feb), the first thing I did was i picked everything that reminded me of him , drove my car to his house and gave it to him, I didnt call him, never did. he would call me , I would pick up his call 4 days later, speak to him matter of factly like nothing ..I was moving on, then one day he came to my house he cried , i dried his tears and told him that he was in this situation because he chose too that even if he was confused i couldnt wait until he would make up his mind.that although I love him i had to focus on me, then he would continue to call me then out of the blues he stopped caliing me and one day he told me that we should stop seeing each other or talking to each other because he didnt want to hurt me, and i told him to go ahead ( dont get me wrong I was hurt , I was suffering but why show it to him i wasnt going to beg for him to come back to me) then he wrote me a letter cause i got pissed off (because he had offered to do something for me change my car's oil and didnt show up) at him asking me what did i want to do, and i wrote him back.... this was the letter i wrote to him...

Dear XXXXXXXX,
This is what I want , I want you to find what you seek, I want you
to be happy, I want you to follow your dreams. I have told you
millions of time that I know, I understand, I comprehend that we
will never be a couple, I do not have any hopes whatsoever in doing
that because you see I've been burned with this experience so how
can I ever trust you again in the sentimental plane. we are
finished period, there is no looking back, there isnt even a what
if ....
I have told you a million times that I am moving on.why should you
be behaving as an *******? do I deserve that? Do I bother you? do I
look for excuses to see you? do I call you? why do I do all this?
so you can fully understand that I don't want you to think that I
have deep dark motive to get you back into my life.I DON'T WANT YOU
BACK as a partner.I have been there for you as a support, holding
your hand until you felt you were ready to let go of me, to be on
your two feet, ready to spread your wings.
XXXXXXXX you know me better than that.. and that is why it
bothers me when you behave like that because through it all I have
respected you and respected your decisions and have been there for
you, to listen to you, to wipe your tears, through it all. there
isnt any need for you to feel guilty because you have moved on,I am
moving on that is what life is all about
when have i been angry with you? when you have played with my
time,before breaking up I was that way and after breaking up I am
still that way.not you nor anybody else will disrespect me period.
In what way can you understand that the only thing you can do, once
in awhile let me knowwhat you are up to,how you are doing because once again we are notkids, we are adults and we should both be mature enough to handle
this,and i truly believe I have handled it better than you......I
don't see any situation only the one you want to make of it, and
the one you have in your head but don't be an ******* because if
you want ******* you know there is no one better ******* than me,
believe me and it isnt a threat.
you said you wanted to have me in your life as a friend...be one
exactly how you are to all of your friends,treat me with dignity
and respect and acceptance the way you do with others.you say you
don't want to see me, if my presence makes you feel uncomfortable
go ahead don't see me, if that is what it is going to take for you
to believe me that i have already moved on go on ahead take all the
time you need.
is that clear enough? do you understand all of this? Is there
anything else ? any doubts you need for me to assure you?

HEF

and you know what once in awhile i feel a little sadness but you know what... life is good and living it with its up and down is worth it

[Cybog]

Good stuff. I have decided that Ericka and Misombra have elevated into the "Girls I would get along with" category. Welcome to the club. You are among those who "get it".

[schueys_girl]

mate, while you are still picking her up and going out to eat with her you are not moving on you are playing to her needs. Be strong. If she says she has something to talk about on the phone thats important ask her what it is first. She used her attitude in her voice to play you, pursuade you to pick her up and go out and then she never had anything to say! I know its hard but stop letting yourself be treated this way.

'If you lie on the floor with welcome written on your forehead you can only expect to be walked all over...'

[schueys_girl]

oh and cyborg it seems i havent lived up to your standards then!

[Ericka]

Good stuff. I have decided that Ericka and Misombra have elevated into the "Girls I would get along with" category. Welcome to the club. You are among those who "get it".

well thank you very much Cybog

[Junket]

well thank you very much Cybog

On behalf of Cybog, you are welcome.

[Echelon]

Blah, I know you guys are right... I was hopeing that I could just have avoided all this mess. Anyway I do feel a lot better now, it seems that it has been forever sense Lisa and I were together. But it's only been a few months.

I sure hope im not left paranoid about relationships next time im in one. But it'll be awhile before im in one again. I just really feel like enjoying life for myself right now, I know that will change in time though.

Thank you for all the help, probably took off months of healing I would have had to do on my own. I'll keep in touch.

[Cybog]

oh and cyborg it seems i havent lived up to your standards then!

Hmm, you really seem to know your stuff around here, and definitely give some decent advice occasionally. The issue is that you still call me cyborg

Once we fix that, I think we could take this relationship a little further

[Cybog]

P.S.

Blah, I know you guys are right... I was hopeing that I could just have avoided all this mess. Anyway I do feel a lot better now, it seems that it has been forever sense Lisa and I were together. But it's only been a few months.

I sure hope im not left paranoid about relationships next time im in one. But it'll be awhile before im in one again. I just really feel like enjoying life for myself right now, I know that will change in time though.

Thank you for all the help, probably took off months of healing I would have had to do on my own. I'll keep in touch.

Please do. Let us know how things are going with you

[schueys_girl]

Cyborg: 'Once we fix that, I think we could take this relationship a little further'...
oh i see so what would you like me to call you?!

Echelon: Glad that you are starting to see past things and clear your head. Keep us up to date and we are all here when you start to feel down and feel a relapse coming on good luck -x-