He's got me so confused

[fragileheart]

Hi guys,
I started dating a guy (male Aries) who was very peresistent. I didn't want to start anything with him because I was concerned about the 5 year age difference and the fact that I have been married before. He's 29. I don't feel less than anyone do to my past, but I know that culturally, that could have been an issue his family would have. He inisted and kept pursuing me. I finally decided to give it a chance. Things were great. I was taking it light-heartedly, until he asked me to take him serious. So I did...but I still gave him enough space and didn't smother him at all. He said many things a girl wants to hear. How this was different, how he loved our chemistry. He was very open about how 'into' me/us he was.

After a couple of months (and we didn't not meet too often as we both led a busy life) - he began getting distant. I met with him to talk and once again, he told me I was the best woman who had every walked into his life. That said, he also said he is affraid. When I asked of what, he said the age difference. While that was frustrating and sad to hear (coz that's what I had been saying all along BEFORE we started dating), I could do nothing but accept it. When I offered to leave him alone, he said he didn't want me to. He said he didn't want to loose me. He began asking if I wanted children. He also asked how long I would think we would need to date until I would know if I waned him for marriage. When I told him, he looked at me and told me that he ALREADY knows that he wants me for life. During the same conversation, he told me about how he's told his family members about me and how they were surprised to hear HIM talk about someone this way. He also told me that his aunt said, 'Mary her'. He went on to say that he's already fallen for me...

What is extremely frustrating about this situation is that after all that - he went silent. I tried reaching out with little to no response. All I asked for was that he not string me along. I asked if this was what he wanted...he didn't answer that either. I didn't pursue much after that talk other than a couple of text messages. After I got nothing back I let go. Few days ago I also dropped him off Facebook. I know that may sound childish, but I didn't do it out of spite or anger. I just felt like I needed to do it for me to move on and let go (He's very active and posts alot and also gets alot of attention from girls...not something I want to see daily).

Makes me really sad because we did have amazing chemsistry/passion and playfulness. I miss him.

Any advice on what may be happening is appreciated. Thank you.

[smackie9]

Don't look at how the way he makes you feel, but how he acts, and his behaviour towards you. Typical Aries male, they are all over the charts, indecisive, and attention whores lol. They like the thrill of the chase, shower you with passion and excitement, but it burns off as fast as it starts. Sometimes guys will do and say anything to get sex. There's a possibilty he is just playing you and it's just easier for him to walk away....I feel he owes you some explination, and not to be ingored. You are doing the right thing by cutting him out of your life. Seriously there really wasn't a promising future with him anyways so don't fret, and keep looking for someone who is more on your page. Note: passion is wonderful but doesn't last, but finding someone that has great compatability is right for the long haul.

[ianoulla]

I understand how you feel, this happened to me. Except he spent 3 years chasing me relentlessly, as there's a big age difference I thought it was a joke. During all this time the chemistry between us was amazing, even though we were never alone, he said all the things you mention. How we were destined to be together, how he would know me forever, how he realised when he met me after marrying his wife the year before we met, that he did not love her. I could go on and on.....BUT....... he played the same games, backing off, making excuses. Like you I gave him space, I didn't push, he did all the talking, all the running. In the end I agreed to be with him because I believed him, but......the minute I let him see my feelings, he became elusive. Weeks and weeks of phone calls, txts, then silence, then more of the same, in the end I said I would rather be free than put up with this. For 3 yrs I was falling over him, then he seemed to disappear. This was 8 months ago now, I am still getting over him. I hope my experience helps you to walk away which I think you must do. I am convinced now that men play these games, particularly younger men who pursue older women. My advice to you is, lift up your head walk away. Good luck

[Wakeup]

Hi guys,
I started dating a guy (male Aries) who was very peresistent. I didn't want to start anything with him because I was concerned about the 5 year age difference and the fact that I have been married before. He's 29. I don't feel less than anyone do to my past, but I know that culturally, that could have been an issue his family would have. He inisted and kept pursuing me. I finally decided to give it a chance. Things were great. I was taking it light-heartedly, until he asked me to take him serious. So I did...but I still gave him enough space and didn't smother him at all. He said many things a girl wants to hear. How this was different, how he loved our chemistry. He was very open about how 'into' me/us he was.

After a couple of months (and we didn't not meet too often as we both led a busy life) - he began getting distant. I met with him to talk and once again, he told me I was the best woman who had every walked into his life. That said, he also said he is affraid. When I asked of what, he said the age difference. While that was frustrating and sad to hear (coz that's what I had been saying all along BEFORE we started dating), I could do nothing but accept it. When I offered to leave him alone, he said he didn't want me to. He said he didn't want to loose me. He began asking if I wanted children. He also asked how long I would think we would need to date until I would know if I waned him for marriage. When I told him, he looked at me and told me that he ALREADY knows that he wants me for life. During the same conversation, he told me about how he's told his family members about me and how they were surprised to hear HIM talk about someone this way. He also told me that his aunt said, 'Mary her'. He went on to say that he's already fallen for me...

What is extremely frustrating about this situation is that after all that - he went silent. I tried reaching out with little to no response. All I asked for was that he not string me along. I asked if this was what he wanted...he didn't answer that either. I didn't pursue much after that talk other than a couple of text messages. After I got nothing back I let go. Few days ago I also dropped him off Facebook. I know that may sound childish, but I didn't do it out of spite or anger. I just felt like I needed to do it for me to move on and let go (He's very active and posts alot and also gets alot of attention from girls...not something I want to see daily).

Makes me really sad because we did have amazing chemsistry/passion and playfulness. I miss him.

Any advice on what may be happening is appreciated. Thank you.

Well, sadly chemistry/passion and playfulness is not love, it is lust. Love is an action word and His words and his actions contradicted each other. I always tell everyone to pay attention to their actions because that is where the truth lays. He was distant, he wasn't seeing you regularily (you excused it as being due to your busy schedules) a person that wants to be with you makes time for you. He's a disingenuous ass who knows what to say to get what he wants. A player of women. (by the sounds of things) Don't regret this as I'm sure you had fun while it lasted (all that passion and stuff) and now you have learned a valuable life lesson when it comes to dating and words vs actions and whether or not they match.

I'm sorry this happened to you but zero contact and deleting from all social networkings sites is the best way to get over the withdrawl of the emotional roller coaster ride of sex and hope he had you becoming addicted to.

I understand how you feel, this happened to me. Except he spent 3 years chasing me relentlessly,

You are the author of your own misfortune if you didn't tell him to **** off when you knew he was married.

[davidjulier]

You guys seriously need to lay off the astrology.

[Mathias]

You guys seriously need to lay off the astrology.

This. What the hell?

[Wakeup]

Op: I'l add that if he suddenly makes contact again after a lengthly time, don't fall into bed with him like you're his casual fk buddy. You do that and you've just taught him he can treat you like shit and you'll take him in anyway. blech... don't let him because you already have feelings for him and settling to be his non-exclusive bed partner when you want to be his romantic exclusive partner will steal your joy.

I read your chart and that's what it said .. lol

[IncognitoSir]

You guys seriously need to lay off the astrology.

I seriously almost stopped reading after I read that. Sounds like he has a much different cultural background than you. The fact that he knows he wants to marry you, but is afraid of age difference? That's just plain crazy. I think your better off. As you can see, he wasn't all that he put on to be after all.

[MaidenMinx]

I am saying this with all seriousness, you guys need to stop being so f**king judgemental!!! Actually how bout I swing this a bit and say, you Americans need to stop being so f**king judgemental!!

You don't believe in Astrology? Good for you!! Yippee skip! So f**king what?!?

Would you tell a Christian to stop going to Church? I highly bloody doubt it! Pull your heads out of your arses and stop acting like your way of thinking is superior to any one elses!

[IncognitoSir]

I am saying this with all seriousness, you guys need to stop being so f**king judgemental!!! Actually how bout I swing this a bit and say, you Americans need to stop being so f**king judgemental!!

You don't believe in Astrology? Good for you!! Yippee skip! So f**king what?!?

Would you tell a Christian to stop going to Church? I highly bloody doubt it! Pull your heads out of your arses and stop acting like your way of thinking is superior to any one elses!

You're comparing Astrology to Religion.......they're not even close to being similar....

[MaidenMinx]

You're comparing Astrology to Religion.......they're not even close to being similar....

Actually, Astrology is the first religion and is also the basis of all ancient faiths. Please do not criticise something you do not understand.

[IndiReloaded]

Would you tell a Christian to stop going to Church? I highly bloody doubt it!

Actually, yes. I have in fact. I keep a few Benefits of Freethinking on my desk for whenever the Mormons or JoHos show up at my door. We exchange material, I tell them to come back when they've read and understood what I've given them. A few have come back, they tell me their children are studying science, I'm content and know that eventually reason will win out.

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freethought]Freethought - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

[IndiReloaded]

Actually, Astrology is the first religion and is also the basis of all ancient faiths. Please do not criticise something you do not understand.

Astrology is a load of bunk, sorry (so no surprise it predates religion). The building you are currently sitting in exerts more gravitational force on you than Mars at its closest orbit and you don't see those being given names by astrologers. Force of gravity (the only physical force with even a remote chance of being significant) decreases proportional to the square of the distance. Understand? Astrology is entertainment, not science.

[MaidenMinx]

Actually, yes. I have in fact. I keep a few Benefits of Freethinking on my desk for whenever the Mormons or JoHos show up at my door. We exchange material, I tell them to come back when they've read and understood what I've given them. A few have come back, they tell me their children are studying science, I'm content and know that eventually reason will win out.

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freethought]Freethought - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

I am torn between applauding you and lecturing you about how you are being just as narrow minded and judgemental as the people you are 'educating'

[MaidenMinx]

Astrology is a load of bunk, sorry (so no surprise it predates religion). The building you are currently sitting in exerts more gravitational force on you than Mars at its closest orbit and you don't see those being given names by astrologers. Force of gravity (the only physical force with even a remote chance of being significant) decreases proportional to the square of the distance. Understand? Astrology is entertainment, not science.

*sigh and yawn*

I am not trying to convert anyone to believing what I believe and all I am asking is that you (and others) not belittle that belief or try to convert myself (or others) to anyone elses way of thinking. Why can we not respect the fact that it is every individuals right to believe what they want and not dump on them for it?