I really messed up with my girl

[mkersen]

Alright so basically all this happened when I was still in a "player stage" since all of this has happened I have realized that this is the girl I want to be with and do her right, like I should have done the whole. Right now I have a reputation as a pretty shitty boyfriend, and every girl says I will never be able to stay with one girl. But this one is changing me and I feel for her in a way I have never felt for anyone my whole life. But I feel like I might have ****ed up to the point of no return the only thing I think may be in my advantage is she finds very very few guys that connect with her. She is always defensive every time I try to talk to her aswell. But anyways here is the story.

So I was with a girl for almost a year that I really do care about. During the relationships I made a lot of mistakes, I cheated on her with her friend that she was always scared I would cheat on her with. She thinks I used her for a place to stay and money which in a way it looks like that on the surface but wasan't my intentions. She took me back for the 4th time last month and I cheated again when she was in South Africa. I have no idea why I keep making these mistakes. But my heart is in the right place now and I try to contact her and all she does is yell at me, call me a pig her mom calls me and tells me she can tell she still loves me and I just need to prove through actions this time that things will be different. During our relationship I borrowed money and her mom says that that would be a good first step to actually doing something for once to show her that I really do care. All she does is yell at me and disrespect me and I guess in a way I deserve it for all that I have done. But I truly want to be with her and when she yells on the phone I ask her " If you really want me gone for good just tell me now and I will pay you back what I owe you and leave" she doesn't give a yes or no she just completely avoids the question entirely and I have asked her it multiple times. I guess I am confused, is she waiting for me to actually come through and show actions that I do care and keeping herself distant until I do that? Or does she really not give a damn?

[mwahahaha]

Dear oh dear, where to start, Give the girl her money back, plus flowers, plus chocolates plus diamonds, plus begging love letter, plus post a pic of her if u can, will help me to further advise if shes worth it.

Looks like all bridges are burnt my son, but all hope is not gone, a few dollars make the grumpiest of faces smile, good luck

[celestina]

" If you really want me gone for good just tell me now and I will pay you back what I owe you and leave"

Just pay her back dude. And of course she's "waiting for you to actually come through and show actions that you do care". You're on probation. It'll take time and effort on your part, since you're the one who screwed up, but do it all for her if she means that much to you. Keep telling her and showing her you care, and especially, behave and stop screwing around man -- it's the only way you'll be able to gain her trust again.

[mkersen]

Why is she some damn hostile all the time? I don't how she can be such a bitch to me, but yet still care? Is she trying to keep herself distant because I have said I am going to change so many times before and never have?

[deeblondie82]

If you are truly sorry and want her back you need to just be there for her tell her that you will not date anyone and be serious bout it untill she takes you back which is highly unlikely sorry. Cheating is the most disrespectful thing you can do to someone. Once you cheat even just once, could be the deal breaker. You need to try, and keep trying if you are really wanting this all to work out. You have to work on you and prove to her that you will change. If it takes a long time before she take you back then you need to take that chance.

[mkersen]

She tells me to stop contacting her all the time, when I tell her I still care she calls me a liar. She won't show any type of affection toward me. But when she tells me to stop contacting her I know her so well that that is her defensive way of making sure she doesn't fall for me again because I have hurt her so many times before. She says she is happier then ever without me in her life, but she has said all of this before and come back but I always ****ed up again. Then when I ask her "Do you truly honestly want me out of your life for good, because if that's what you really want I will respect that" she avoids the question all together.

[celestina]

Why is she some damn hostile all the time? I don't how she can be such a bitch to me, but yet still care? Is she trying to keep herself distant because I have said I am going to change so many times before and never have?

Why wouldn't she be? Dude, you slept with her slutty friend. I don't think that's something she can get over. She'll never forget, that's for sure. Don't think that time will magically solve things. She will never trust you again until you've proven yourself to her, with time and thoughtful actions.

How old are you? I'm hoping less than 20.

[deeblondie82]

You need to let her go and move on. You need to work on YOU!! I mean if you dont want to be this cheating player then you need to find out why you do that and fix it. Its hard but you truly hurt her, I'm sure you broke her heart. I would then just stop talking to her and give her the space. You never know if things will work out down the road or not. But from what you just said you need to just back off and leave her be.

[mwahahaha]

slutty friend , lol

[mkersen]

I'm 21. But this is the first women I have actually felt anything for. So it's all pretty new to me

[celestina]

Then when I ask her "Do you truly honestly want me out of your life for good, because if that's what you really want I will respect that" she avoids the question all together.

Will you stop threatening and provoking her? No wonder she is so defensive, you sound so damn agressive and pushy dude. You're doing things all wrong. Try being softer for a change. And yes, flowers and thoughtful gifts are a good idea. Working on yourself, is an even better one.

[mkersen]

I think I will do that.

[mkersen]

I guess when she is a bitch, it's hard for me to nice. But I'm guessing the thing to do at this point would be to just take it, show her I care in ways I haven't before. (Gifts, Flowers, Reimbursing her etc. . .) Then let time take it's course.

[mkersen]

celestina you gave me some really good advice ty.

[celestina]

I guess when she is a bitch, it's hard for me to nice. But I'm guessing the thing to do at this point would be to just take it, show her I care in ways I haven't before. (Gifts, Flowers, Reimbursing her etc. . .) Then let time take it's course.

And to stop calling her a bitch. When you respect a person, you keep respecting them even when they're not in the room.