My boyfriend has been offered a job in Leeds and wants me to go with him..

[mahoagny]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 yrs.

He has been offered a job in Leeds, bearing in mind were both leaving in London. Were not living together at the moment.
I have just graduated from uni, and currently looking for a job.

The job offer in Leeds is a big deal because I do not want to go, were not even engaged or even leaving together. We see each other on the weekends, and dont go out as much as we used to.

He said that the job in Leeds is a great opportunity for him to gain some skills and experience in his job field, he said that he will not be there for long (2-3 yrs) so that he can give me what i want.

I feel that him saying that is an excuse because were still trying to work things out now. so what makes him think that Leeds is going to change all that. I really want to get married and have kids. I feel that what he wants is to got on top of the career ladder.

I very much in love with him. I just dont know what to do, because he wants me to go with him.?

[celestina]

I feel that what he wants is to got on top of the career ladder.

Of course that's what he wants. But the fact that he asked you to go with him, also means that he cares a lot about you and that he wants to keep you near. So if you love him enough to want to be by his side and be supportive to him for 2-3 years, if you feel up for the challenge, I say go for it. Of course there is no certainty about whether or not he will want to marry or have kids after that, that will just depend on how the relationship progresses through time. And you are right about the issues you two have been having--they will not go away just by moving in another town. If you really want to settle and have a family soon, then, maybe staying where you are and being with someone who wants the same as you do, is better for you. Ask yourself if you're ready to lose him for the sake of settling down?

Just not too long ago I wrote a thread about my partner leaving for a job offer also... even if our issues are different, maybe reading it might help you.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/56628-how-fix-something-went-wrong.html[/url]

Good luck.

[smackie9]

He's obviously has those goals too but he wants to be financially prepared.....one smart dude, a keeper. If he wants you to go with him that means living together and going forward with your relationship. If it's going to take a few years, it will be no different if you started to date someone else.....it will be 2-3 years down the road anyways that's providing you find this person.

[HeartIsAching]

Is there the possibility that he WANTS a long term relationship? Can you talk to him and find out?

I hear you when you say you don't want to go to Leeds - I know nothing about Leeds vs. London, but sometimes you go places you don't want to for the person you do want. I'm not a huge fan of where I'm living now, but it's worth it to me because that's where my wife is.

[devonbrown]

If you don't want to move to Leeds, then don't. But make it be about you, and not because you are unsure of the relationship.

What is your objection to trying a long distance relationship with him for a while? Or visiting each other? Or anything like that? I know you want to settle down, but you just graduated from university and are looking for work yourself. Why not take a little time, both of you get your lives/careers/etc in order and then see where you want to take things?

Good luck.

[mahoagny]

Thank you guys for all your advice, you have all made some really good points. Im going to speak to him tomorrow, and I will let you guys know on what went down and so forth......