Where are all the nice girls who don't mind being friends with benefits?

[MaidenMinx]

That is just the thing though. A guy can go out squirting his hose where ever he wishes and if he keeps moving no one will ever know. A woman on the other hand, well once her fields are tilled and seed has sprouted it's not so easy to hide, and taking care of it can cause long term damage (rare but possible). This is the only reason the double standard ever arose and therefore is the only reason the double standard still exists.

[lahnnabell]

That is just the thing though. A guy can go out squirting his hose where ever he wishes and if he keeps moving no one will ever know. A woman on the other hand, well once her fields are tilled and seed has sprouted it's not so easy to hide, and taking care of it can cause long term damage (rare but possible). This is the only reason the double standard ever arose and therefore is the only reason the double standard still exists.

I don't specifically support or oppose abortion. It is an individual woman's choice. However, eliminating the possible need for an abortion by properly educating individuals about sex is what is truly important. Sex itself does not have to result in pregnancy, but it's important to know what you're playing with if/when you do sleep around. That includes STDs. Women need to be taught to protect their bodies, but not by avoiding or hiding what they are capable of. Women simply need to be wiser and to help teach other women to play it smart.

[lahnnabell]

Actually, you called yourself a whore. :p

And yes this double standard will always exist. Why? For the simple fact that women get pregnant. Men don't.

Also, back in my promiscuous days I actually had some of my most amazing experiences with one night stands. Before you call me a hypocrite, it took me a while to learn how destructive to ones overall sense of self being promiscuous can be. And because of this I think it is never a good idea to encourage women to be promiscuous. Just my 2 cents worth.

For the record, that's cool that you've had stellar one night stand experiences. And I wasn't going to call you a hypocrite. I think acceptance of female sexuality is powerful and does not have to be a negative thing. There are plenty of ways to enjoy sex without being an absolute danger to yourself. It can be dangerous to our sense of self when we allow our sexual experiences to speak for who we are. If you base your desirability off of a man's acceptance and approval, then you're doing it wrong. Taking away the need for a man's approval allows you to be free of any stereotypes and it gives you full responsibility and control of the situation. That is empowerment.

[Yet another guy]

Neither is a guy's dick, but they attempt it all the time. They actually expect that a woman's just gonna fall to her knees the moment he says he wants to do her?

That's not bartering. That's just cutting the crap and doing what we both want to do. Each other. Of course, If you don't want to do a guy, you'd be better off doing yourself.
As for the expectation, it would be rude to assume that the woman demands to be put on a pedestal. It's only fair to treat them as an equal.

Interesting that there's a difference of interpretation based on the phrasing! Ahhh, language.

Weird. Two different phrases that are used for two different (yet similar) concepts. Oh, how confusing!

So, am I right in assuming that everybody seems cool with the fact that men can go around collecting FWB, but women can't without being called whores? Why is this so different? I'm really curious as to what everyone thinks.

I wasn't talking about myself in particular. Seems to be the general consensus though.

Women are called whores when they receive compensation for sex. The word you might be looking for is slut. And no, the situations aren't different. Where do you get the impression that's the general consensus? Do you know anyone who personally thinks so? If you take all the people who think that those who have sex outside a relationship are man-whores and sluts and only listen to their opinion that such women are sluts. And if you then take the rest of the people, who think it's ok, and only listen to their opinion that it's ok for guys... You're going to end up with the misconception that there is a double standard. I haven't met anyone who would think it's ok for guys but not for women and if I ever do, I'll consider him/her an asshole.

I've never heard of a man taking on the role of the attentive lover (one that's gonna rock my world by giving me an orgasm, not just by having jackrabbit sex) during a one-night stand or FWB hook up.

You've obviously never met me Ok, I can't say I'm going to rock anyones world - considering my inexperience - but being attentive lover is the only thing in my mind when I have sex.

[lahnnabell]

That's not bartering. That's just cutting the crap and doing what we both want to do. Each other. Of course, If you don't want to do a guy, you'd be better off doing yourself.
As for the expectation, it would be rude to assume that the woman demands to be put on a pedestal. It's only fair to treat them as an equal.

Haha, I'm not saying I don't want to do a guy. But if I'm going to do a guy that's going to approach as though I am a sex object, then I'll play the game by acting as one.

Weird. Two different phrases that are used for two different (yet similar) concepts. Oh, how confusing!

No need to be rude. I use the phrases interchangeably, and I wasn't aware that others did not.

Women are called whores when they receive compensation for sex. The word you might be looking for is slut. And no, the situations aren't different. Where do you get the impression that's the general consensus? Do you know anyone who personally thinks so? If you take all the people who think that those who have sex outside a relationship are man-whores and sluts and only listen to their opinion that such women are sluts. And if you then take the rest of the people, who think it's ok, and only listen to their opinion that it's ok for guys... You're going to end up with the misconception that there is a double standard. I haven't met anyone who would think it's ok for guys but not for women and if I ever do, I'll consider him/her an asshole.

I wasn't trying to state fact, it was really an inquiry for someone to prove me wrong with stronger evidence if they had any. The semantics aside, in reality no derogatory terms are necessary really. I do know people who aren't okay with women being promiscuous, but don't seem to bat an eye when it's men they're talking about. And yes, there is a double standard. There's always been a double standard. Even look at the some of guys that come on here and start complaining about their GF's sexual history. They themselves have been with numerous women, but can't seem to understand that their GFs had lives with other men before they came along. Double standard.

You've obviously never met me Ok, I can't say I'm going to rock anyones world - considering my inexperience - but being attentive lover is the only thing in my mind when I have sex.

[/QUOTE] Of course I've never met you, my dear. Never underestimate a woman's sexual prowess is the best advice I can give you. An accepting woman will be comfortable teaching you what you need to know. But there are still plenty of girls who can't tell their own vag from a hole in the ground.

[Yet another guy]

No need to be rude. I use the phrases interchangeably, and I wasn't aware that others did not.

I didn't mean to be rude. I usually treat comments like that with humour so I guess I expect others to do so too. I suppose it can be taken as an offence, sorry.

The semantics aside, in reality no derogatory terms are necessary really. I do know people who aren't okay with women being promiscuous, but don't seem to bat an eye when it's men they're talking about. And yes, there is a double standard.

I personally don't find slut a derogatory term, but I suppose I shouldn't throw it around when others do
Yes, that's a double standard. Don't give any value to their opinion and tell them to **** off.

Even look at the some of guys that come on here and start complaining about their GF's sexual history. They themselves have been with numerous women, but can't seem to understand that their GFs had lives with other men before they came along.

I've never really understood those guys. Their problems come from insecurity though, rather than self entitlement. They seem to either regret having been promiscuous themselves or at the very least they acknowledge that it's understandable for their partner to be insecure for his own promiscuity. If they don't agree with either, they're just plain assholes. And no, I don't think that the general consensus is that it's ok to be an asshole.

[lahnnabell]

Either way, those guys are proverbial nutcases who are better left to deal with their own issues. One of my exes had serious intimacy issues because of how promiscuous he'd been in college. He used sex with women as way to measure his self-worth. He would get wasted and hook up with anybody it seemed. Well, from what he explained to me. It was a chore to get him to open up enough to where we could work on the issue together. For a time he would just shut down and not want to talk about it. Yeah, kinda glad I'm not dealing with that anymore.

[smackie9]

FWB is the luck of the draw. You can't go out and find it like shopping for a pair of shoes. These things usually just happen by chance, no different than your chances of hooking up with hot twins lol.

[lahnnabell]

True. But one night stands always have potential of becoming FWB. Until you never see/hear from him again. In that case, NEXT!

[ctr916]

You do know that most girls don't require you to have money to be friends with you, right? It's more about personality. Work on that instead.

I have been working on that, it simply seems that many women seem to evolve better customer service skills, when I have enough money.

[ctr916]

So you expect to get laid for free? You better have some stellar redeeming qualities. Hahahaha... No good looking, self-respecting woman is so hard up for sex that she's going to troll around for NSA from the first guy who offers himself up. I can get foot and head massages from my platonic guy friends if I chose to. And they always take me out for some food. Why would I throw myself at some strange dude looking for a quick lay?

And Indie is right about the maturity aspect. 21-year olds nowadays are insecure adolescents who are most likely still learning about their own bodies let alone how to please a guy. Those that say they can handle FWB usually end up heartbroken down the line because as another poster stated, many women need an emotional connection to feel the type of attraction that will make them want to go to bed with you. That's why you see easy girls hop into bed with whoever's next in line. They're attempting to fill an emotional void by giving you what you want. But guys like you are so ignorant you actually think it's you they're after. Funny.

I only expect to get laid for free if she is willing to be a friend with benefits. Not all women need to leverage their sexuality to get what they want.

What do you recommend for a practice venture? I may want to establish a petty cash fund for that purpose, what do you think may be appropriate, as a getting to know each other special occasion?

I am not sure why you keep bringing negative examples of stereotypical relationships. A friend with be benefits is not the same. I only agree with you to the extent women use guys for sex until it is guys that clamor for a relationship.

[ctr916]

Its not that easy. Most nice/ good girls have morals and values. You see, they been put on a pedestal since they were a child. Blah, Blah, I think you know my point is. All the one night stands that I have had, I had to lower my standards to achieve. Believe me its not worth it. It took me a while to realize that I shouldn't use women like this. Its just not right, and its not healthy. Most women are not that easy. If they are, they have major issues and shouldn't be trusted. Think about the STD's. I don't care if you use a condom, there is still a risk. Do you want a love child too. I was lucky to dodge both bullets, and I mean blessed by god, to dodge these bullets. Why don't you meet a woman, take her out, establish a solid, monogamous relationship/ marriage, and have all the sex you want with out all the risks. The only way you could ever get any woman, at any status to have sex with you if your penis taste like chocolate and ejaculates money. Well, that's never going to happen, so take my previous advise.

I would like to be better friends with Loreal and I don't mind using condoms. I simply feel I need more practice to better understand women.

[ctr916]

How much does sex with you cost per minute?

Would you be surprised if I told that your platonic guy friends are disappointed that their efforts don't result in sex.

Usually, if I have to ask for a for minute price, I probably can't afford it. I am very paypal friendly whenever I have a generous petty cash fund at my disposal.

I don't mind being platonic with some chicks if all of the other ones prefer to simply use me for sex.

[ctr916]

No, NICE GIRLS DON'T DO FWB ... It's not normal dude.

You seem to be claiming that women can't be friends with guys, while wanting to be a girlfriend or wife.

[ctr916]

It depends on the guy. Boyfriend costs nothing but some heavy foreplay and the right dialogue. If my BF were not in the picture and it were a fk buddy... depends on how long I've known this buddy. My solid stand-bys (only about 1 or 2) usually pick up dinner and beer. They'll smoke me up if I feel like it, which is really rare nowadays. But I never give it up to guys who don't show equal respect and appreciation.

Nah, that doesn't surprise me. But they know where the line is and they never dare to cross it. If they took a chance and went for it, who knows? But they stay platonic because they don't have the balls it would take to go further. And of course I don't get those platonic massages when I've got a perfectly devoted boyfriend offering his nightly services.

I usually prefer to meet women who don't mind if I just come over take off all of my clothes and expect a full body massage just to get to know each other better.

Some nice guys don't want to lower their standards when they could just be honest for a short term relationship. I usually put women in the friend zone as soon as I know they don't want to use me for sex until I clamor for a relationship.