Where are all the nice girls who don't mind being friends with benefits?

[ctr916]

I don't have much respect for people who expect to be compensated for letting someone take care of their satisfaction. Not any more than I do for those who expect to be compensated for taking care of others satisfaction (whores).

Why do you believe that in any political-economy that claims to subscribe to Capitalism, where economic forms of discrimination are both legal and socially acceptable?

[Yet another guy]

Why do you believe that in any political-economy that claims to subscribe to Capitalism, where economic forms of discrimination are both legal and socially acceptable?

Why do I believe that I don't have respect for such people?
Err, because I know whom I respect...

[ctr916]

My line of thinking is if a guy wants to screw me, then he better be offering up something in return. This is a personal choice because of the fact that I'm not an easy-to-get-off girl. I enjoy sex anyway, but not to its fullest advantage. More often than not these guys are mediocre to terrible lays because they're incredibly selfish. They start to get frustrated when I don't get off in 10 minutes after they start humping. I don't blame theme entirely. They have a lot of preconceived notions about sex that just aren't true. Most of it they've learned from porn or girlfriends who pretended these guys were the best lays in history just to save their egos.

What a coincidence; I feel the same way. I am trying to work on my attitude and character in the process of learning how to relate better with fellow human beings. I think women would have less to complain about guys if we got the same amount of practice women get. I am not sure why women who are sexually promiscuous even complain about guys not wanting a relationship, since that is usually not a problem for guys, even if they are promiscuous. It could be an issue women may need to work on; I suggest learning how to be a friend with benefits as one possible solution. I don't mind establishing a petty cash fund for this purpose, whenever I have enough money.

[ctr916]

I don't take advantage of my guy friends. I'm perfectly happy to exchange massages with them, or hang out with them, pay for dinner or split the bill. What I meant was that I can often have a better, fulfilling friendship with a platonic guy friend than I can have with a FWB. FWB is a deal, an arrangement. Remember when I said I separate my FWB from my platonic friends? If a platonic friend of mine decided he wanted to jump by bones and got the courage to do it, the relationship would then change and I would never be able to treat him like a platonic buddy anymore. Sex changes things for me. Either a guy can be comfortable with how I handle that, or he can find someone who can give him what he really wants.

If your only criteria is sex, then why should any guy not base his decision on sex as well? Some nice guys believe that the chick(s) who are doing him the most are the most serious about wanting a relationship. It would be nice if women who make some claim to ambition were ambitious enough to deed their words more often.

In my opinion, your stereotyping in that manner detracts from the purpose of being a friend with benefits. However, I am trying to appreciate a more expansive view of relating and relationships than the one track mind view of relationships subscribed to by many if not most women--as a form of special pleading.

[sadie_genie]

This is what you need to do:

1) Be very sexually attractive to her
2) Be very good in bed
3) Find a girl who has been in FWB with another guy before

[ctr916]

More often than not these guys looking for an easy lay situation don't have the skill set to keep a relationship together, which is why they go searching for an easier route.

I think you may be stereotyping. Would we really have any more problems than women regarding relationships if it were customary for women to use men for sex until a guy clamors for a relationship?

[lahnnabell]

I only expect to get laid for free if she is willing to be a friend with benefits. Not all women need to leverage their sexuality to get what they want.

What do you recommend for a practice venture? I may want to establish a petty cash fund for that purpose, what do you think may be appropriate, as a getting to know each other special occasion?

I am not sure why you keep bringing negative examples of stereotypical relationships. A friend with be benefits is not the same. I only agree with you to the extent women use guys for sex until it is guys that clamor for a relationship.

That's my point. You don't put out, I don't put out. Simple. I keep bringing in negative examples because MOST of the time, we get a poster on here (male or female) that got themselves into a FWB situation who is now upset because it didn't blossom into a full-blown, loving relationship. I've never seen FWB end happy except in movies.

[lahnnabell]

What a coincidence; I feel the same way. I am trying to work on my attitude and character in the process of learning how to relate better with fellow human beings. I think women would have less to complain about guys if we got the amount of practice women get. I am not sure why women who are sexually promiscuous even complain about guys not wanting a relationship, since that is usually not a problem for guys, even if they are promiscuous. It could be an issue women may need to work on; I suggest learning how to be a friend with benefits as one possible solution. I don't mind establishing a petty cash fund for this purpose, whenever I have enough money.

This doesn't have to involve women being promiscuous. BUT I agree, women who are promiscuous SHOULDN'T complain about guys not wanting a relationship. If they decide to sleep with a guy, then wonder why he didn't call, that is their problem. Women don't need to learn how to be FWB, but they do need to learn that if they're not making a guy work for it in any way, then she's worth whatever change he's got in his pocket. If my making him work for it means I don't get laid, I'm fine with that. It's not about getting laid for me, it's about doing something fun and feeling good for a little while..

[lahnnabell]

I think you may be stereotyping. Would we really have any more problems than women regarding relationships if it were customary for women to use men for sex until a guy clamors for a relationship?

Not saying it's customary for women to use men. In fact, I don't use men for sex. I use men for whatever they can barter with. Massage, sure. You just better be damn good. Buy me dinner? I love to eat. Or maybe a yummy drink or two so I can relax after work? They would be the ones using me for sex.

[lahnnabell]

THIS is why I make the conscious decision to separate my sincere love interests from my any FWB prospects.

How to tell if a guy is nothing more than FWB material:
1. He has an unstable job (working part-time, hourly, inconsistent work schedule/doesn't fill his time usefully)
2. Never completed school or never strove for any type of higher education (doesn't have to be formal, could be industry-related)
3. Cannot afford to take you out on a proper date or even plan a nice date (doesn't require money, just some creativity)
4. Has hobbies that suck up money vs. saving money (ie. smokes weed, does drugs, drinks too much, buys a new video game every week)
5. Despite these short comings, you two have AMAZING chemistry and you want to jump his bones every time you see him. (I think many women mistake this for sincere affection, then wonder why those feelings fade after a little while)

A guy that IS relationship material (my standards as a 26 year old):

1. Stable job, makes decent money. Can plan for the future (Not just talking hopes and dreams. Real, solid plans)
2. Done with school or nearing the end (but can successfully balance work/home life because he's not trying to live the life of a college frat boy anymore)
3. Can plan a date without having to ask me where I want to go. (I wish everyone loved surprises as much as I do)
4. Has similar proactive hobbies that he perhaps can share with me once in a while (my BF's going to take me sailing)
5. Last, but not, least chemistry. (Chemistry is important either way. Does he make you laugh? Do you enjoy each others' company?)

I say these things, because I see that a lot of women come on here complaining about why their boyfriend seems depressed or bored or why he's acting selfish. Part of the problem these guys suck was because the standards girls hold aren't high enough. If guys aren't working for it, they stop appreciating it. If you indulge him every time he smacks your ass into the kitchen when he wants a sandwich, you're enabling the issue (stereotypical example). I only had myself to blame when my boyfriend wouldn't spend time with me yet wanted me to hang around and watch him play Halo till the world exploded. Where's the incentive? I'm bored as hell and you're not gonna stop for another 4 hours? I should've just ditched them, but I was stupid and desperate for attention at that age (16). And I made the same mistakes for a long time.

[ctr916]

Why do I believe that I don't have respect for such people?
Err, because I know whom I respect...

I guess my point is, why should anyone confide in your sincerity concerning respect if is based on the subjective value of morals, if we don't share the same morals?

What objection do you have to having a respect for a tradition of true witness bearing to capital based markets, whenever any barriers to entry in the religious based "markets" arbitrary or excessive?

[ctr916]

This is what you need to do:

1) Be very sexually attractive to her
2) Be very good in bed
3) Find a girl who has been in FWB with another guy before

You are welcome of a thirty minute full body massage for any referrals. Practice makes perfect, or so I have been told. I can only hope that she will be willing to call me a friend (with benefits) and not think anything bad of me afterward.

[IndiReloaded]

Garbage you are spouting, Ctr.

[ctr916]

That's my point. You don't put out, I don't put out. Simple. I keep bringing in negative examples because MOST of the time, we get a poster on here (male or female) that got themselves into a FWB situation who is now upset because it didn't blossom into a full-blown, loving relationship. I've never seen FWB end happy except in movies.

Why is it that many guys may not have a problem if it does, "not work out"? In my opinion, a person can never go wrong with trying to establish a friend (with benefits relationship since a guy can never have too many girl friends.) and a friendship to relate with.

Why do you make it seem like women prefer not to be friends even while wanting a relationship such a girlfriend or wife?

[ctr916]

This doesn't have to involve women being promiscuous. BUT I agree, women who are promiscuous SHOULDN'T complain about guys not wanting a relationship. If they decide to sleep with a guy, then wonder why he didn't call, that is their problem. Women don't need to learn how to be FWB, but they do need to learn that if they're not making a guy work for it in any way, then she's worth whatever change he's got in his pocket. If my making him work for it means I don't get laid, I'm fine with that. It's not about getting laid for me, it's about doing something fun and feeling good for a little while..

I am not sure why easy women would not be happy to offer a friend with benefits relationship and a discount. I think this is a simple marketing issue for women; why claim victimhood over something that simple? You may be stereotyping the relationship Standard many women claim to believe in. Even minor objectives with change in our pockets can be accomplished when we are trying to accomplish something. I would agree with you more, if it were normal for women to use men for sex until a guy clamors for a relationship.