Do men pursue friendships with women they don't want sexually?

[Bluesidhe]

There's a guy that I think is amazingly hot and I want to have sex with him. I'm trying to figure out how good my chances are of making this happen.

I've approached him in a very friendly way. To be honest I'm not that experienced sexually so it's difficult for me to be seductive or flirty. He always returns my emails or texts the same day and he definitely wants to hang out. When I see him in person he always greets me with a big hug.

My question is: would a guy spark up a friendship and hang out regularly with a girl he's not interested in having sex with? Should I take his friendliness and willingness to hang out as a positive sign that I should continue to try to get to "know" him, or is there a strong possibility that he's just being nice and I should proceed with caution.

Thanks,
Blue

[pisces25]

If it is just sex you are after then there is no harm in getting to know him and seeing where it leads.

[clarebear123]

I think it all depends on the guy... Some would only become friends with women in order to get them into bed, others genuinly just want friendship! I'd say arrange to meet up and see what happens then...

Just make sure if you do end up having sex that you both know what to expect afterwards! I'm in the post sex with a friend situation now and it's very confusing so be careful!

Good luck!!!!

[Incognito]

Maybe this will shed a little light on your situation. I have had many female friends, many. However I can't think of one of them that I wouldn't have had sex with. Nothing ever happened between any of them and myself mind you. For me there has to be a certain amount of attraction for their to be anything between her and I. If I found a woman utterly unattractive she'd have to have a nice personality to be my friend. Even then if she was a really nice woman, but not my cup of tea in the looks department, I'd probably have sex with her if she wanted to because by then I'd be attracted to her personality. Then again I couldn't have no strings attached sex, I'd be looking for a long term relationship.

[leg167]

I don't know how much you know him, or how long you've been hanging out. But from my experience, if I end up hanging out consistently with a girl, usually I'd be attracted to her -- whether sexually or more deeply. I suppose I'd feel exactly the same way about the girl as you feel about him, and would want to spend time together and keep in touch often. The only dilemma I would be faced with is whether to make a move or keep our relations platonic.

I don't know...maybe you should find out if he's nice and friendly with other female friends of his. If he is, then that should tell you a lot. If not, well then you can start feeling special :p

[bulrush]

would a guy spark up a friendship and hang out regularly with a girl he's not interested in having sex with?

Not until I reached age 40. Under age 40, it's all about sex for men. So, what are you waiting for? Are you going to take him out?

Also remember many guys are not good with interpreting subtle hints. The laws (and social conditioning) are very harsh on unwanted advances from men, so you (the woman) have to basically be naked in bed before they might think you would want sex. So, that's why you take him out to dinner, then take him home to YOUR bed. That sends a pretty clear message. If he still doesn't get it, just say "I want to jump your bones. Pants off. Now."

[trepur]

some girls are too perfect to be forward with.
he probably has too much respect for you to risk loosing you as a friend.
Next time he hugs you , stare right into his eyes and dont let go.

[Bluesidhe]

Stare into his eyes and don't let go...

Seems a little creepy

We're going to hang out soon though. I'm going to try my best to not be so subtle with my flirting.

[lahnnabell]

And you're sure all you want it sex? Because once you start bangin', it's going to be hard to throw it in reverse if you suddenly decide you want a relationship. Just sayin'. It can work, but just be careful. We see lots of girls on here that either let themselves get seduced or give it up really fast, then complain when their feelings start to grow and the guy isn't reciprocating. Do sex and love go hand in hand for you? That's a good question to answer before you proceed.

I only ask because I very clearly separate my random sexual escapades from men that I'm seriously dating. I had a bunch of guys that were good for one thing, but were in no way relationship material, so it was very easy to enjoy sex and not want anything more. If I have feelings for a guy, sex doesn't happen till later. Those are the guys that I expect will work for it if they want to stick around.

[sadie_genie]

So, that's why you take him out to dinner, then take him home to YOUR bed. That sends a pretty clear message.

You don't even need to buy him dinner. Just take him to your bed, the kitchen counter, on top of the washing machine, or wherever you prefer.

[Bluesidhe]

And you're sure all you want it sex? Because once you start bangin', it's going to be hard to throw it in reverse if you suddenly decide you want a relationship. Just sayin'. It can work, but just be careful. We see lots of girls on here that either let themselves get seduced or give it up really fast, then complain when their feelings start to grow and the guy isn't reciprocating. Do sex and love go hand in hand for you? That's a good question to answer before you proceed.

I only ask because I very clearly separate my random sexual escapades from men that I'm seriously dating. I had a bunch of guys that were good for one thing, but were in no way relationship material, so it was very easy to enjoy sex and not want anything more. If I have feelings for a guy, sex doesn't happen till later. Those are the guys that I expect will work for it if they want to stick around.

I decided last week that I want more than sex. This is the same guy I talk about in my other thread. I'm horny as he'll and I haven't gotten laid in a year. I'm going INSANE. But I know that I'd be disappointed with just sex so I'm going to flirt with him and make it clear that I'm interested, all the while keeping my legs shut

[lahnnabell]

Nothing wrong with taking interest in a different guy for sexual purposes. That's how I put off my cravings once in a while, and more often than not I just got myself off. It's more fun to have someone to mess around with, of course, but not essential.

If you want more than sex you best make that clear. Most guys (speaking from my own experience) are more than happy to rush into sex. Some have the intention of developing a relationship, some do not. You need to figure out how this guy feels about you before you hop into bed with him. He'll stick around if he's the kind of guy you're looking for.

[leoben]

My question is: would a guy spark up a friendship and hang out regularly with a girl he's not interested in having sex with?

I love being around a woman who wants to sleep with me, even if she look's like the hunchback of notre dame. So the answer is yes.

I have no idea what his thoughts are about you, sadie's advice seems good for finding out.

[HeartIsAching]

Not until I reached age 40. Under age 40, it's all about sex for men. So, what are you waiting for? Are you going to take him out?

Also remember many guys are not good with interpreting subtle hints. The laws (and social conditioning) are very harsh on unwanted advances from men, so you (the woman) have to basically be naked in bed before they might think you would want sex. So, that's why you take him out to dinner, then take him home to YOUR bed. That sends a pretty clear message. If he still doesn't get it, just say "I want to jump your bones. Pants off. Now."

Ahahahahaha!!! Yep. Had a woman kidnap me once (true story, maybe I'll tell it some time) and it pretty much even then took her ripping my shirt off, buttons popping all over her living room floor before I'd believe that's really what (and all) she wanted.

[ctr916]

I think it makes it easier to pursue platonic forms of friendship if there is less heterosexual "tension". Otherwise, why would a guy not want a girl friend who can easily help him out when he is between girlfriends.