I was living in one city, she in another. We actually grew up in the same town, and her mom was my favorite teacher of all time; real life changing class for me in high school. But I only briefly met her daughter. Anyway... we reconnected now that I'm 33 and she's 30. It was an amazing relationship. We talked every night. I'd drive to see her (I loved her city much more than mine), and she'd come see me. We fell in love and everything was so fulfilling. Like no other person, we really "got" each other.

That went on like that for about 9 months. We had both been married before. I had left my wife 3 years prior, so I had done all my craziness, and grief. She had only left her husband 7-8 months prior when we reconnected. So she was still deeply involved with him, i.e. he'd still call everyday begging her to come home. He was a very wealthy man from a very wealthy family.

When she left him, she didn't ask for any money or alimony. She just wanted out. He was apparently a very hurtful A-hole. I dunno. Never met the guy. But anyway... after Christmas, she and I started having some pretty obvious issues. She got notice from the IRS that she was MASSIVELY in debt to them ($50,000), and she was behind in rent, her car payments etc. And he job (real estate) wasn't doing well at all. So she really started to panic. She stopped answering the phone as much when I'd call. When we did talk, she was always preoccupied with her money and job situation. The texts got less and less, and our conversations got more and more confrontational for no real reason. And finally she just started pulling away to where she'd only call me every 3 days, or sometimes we'd talk, and she'd agree to call me back that night, and I wouldn't hear from her for a week. And when she would finally call, it would be because she needed something. She was panicked, or she needed me to help her fix this or that situation.

I let that go on from December until April. It was a slow progression from wonderful talks everyday, to "I wonder how she is doing, since I haven't heard from her in a week." kinda thing. Well, anyway... I had been applying for job after job in her city. Nothing was biting. Then the way she was treating me just got to be too much for me. So, going on a lot of advice and pressure from friends etc., I made one last ditch effort to see her. I called and told her that I just wanted to see her, and I didn't care what the cost. She blew it. Then I had to have emergency surgery one day, and was in the hospital for a week... she lives 4 hours away and didn't even come see me. So, as soon as I got healthy again, I finally called her, and after leaving voice mails for days for her to call me, I finally just told her voice mail that it's over.

She texted me the next day that my message was very hurtful, and that her neves cannot handle messages like that right now. I didn't respond, and I just decided that I need to move on. But I was deciding that with my BRAIN... my heart still very much loved her, and still does. About two weeks later, a wonderful company in her city called me and I got the job, and have now moved to her city. It has been exactly 4 months to the day since we spoke last. I've been living here for a month, and I know that she knows I am here, because it is all over Facebook, and her best friend has asked me to meet her for coffee several times.

I don't know why her friend wants to meet me for coffee. When I was with my ex girlfriend, she never said two words to me barely. We are not like really close. But her friend is also a real estate agent, so she may very well just be trying to sell me a house. I don't know enough about women to know if a grown woman would really want to have coffee with me to spy and find out how I am... and also, why? We weren't even friends really. I never even felt that she liked me or approved of me.

Anyway... I didn't want to call my ex and try to see her as long as I was still getting to know the new town and get up and running at my new job. I wanted to be able to present to her a solid, grounded, man who has made huge steps forward in his life, and now volunteers for this and that, and does this and that, and has lost 20 lbs etc. But... what I wanted to ask you ladies is... given the situation I've described above, would you think that I even have a chance at getting her to have coffee or dinner with me and then we maybe go from there? Or should I just forget it and walk, and away, and she will call me if her situation improves, or if she misse me badly enough.?

Because I have to be honest, it has been 4 months, and I can't help think that if she really misses me, she would have missed me by now. I'm not asking for instructions on what to do; just some perspective on what I might want to expect.

Thanks ladies. I know this is a long post.