What does it mean for a man to have a "type"?

[JennaBella]

I ask this question because this issue has raised it's head a couple of times this year for me.... On both occasions the men concerned have expressed a preference for women who are physically nothing like me
at all yet both have clearly been attracted me. They both described dark haired, voluptous women like Kelly Brook as their ideal woman. Ok, I get it, she's a stunner and very sexy..... But I'm fair haired and slim and have curves in the right places but not on the same magnitude as Miss Brook! I think the reason it really got to me is that my ex's new gf has the height and long dark hair as well as having a good figure. I guess my question is, guys, if you have a "type" do you tend to stick to that or are you always on the look out for women who are more your type than the one you may be with at present? I appreciate this is all very superficial and there are other characteristics that attract people to eachother.
For example, do any of you guys purposefully seek to hook up with women who are mothers? The term
MILF is mentioned a lot by men I work with! What's the attraction?!

[lahnnabell]

Men are very superficial, visual creatures. A good portion of them simply fail to understand that most women do not look or will ever look like Kelly Brook. We're fed all this BS through media that says women are supposed to look this way and/or must strive to look this way. In reality, it's up to you to decide what your guidelines are. Measuring yourself against the girl on the cover of Cosmo is a terrible idea and pointless.

I've found that guys tend to have a type. It's really weird 'cause several of my exes have dated girls after me that resembled me on a freakish level. Hair, eyebrows, face shape, body type. From what it looks like they didn't intentionally choose a girl that looked like me, but they were perhaps just attracted to that type of girl. Personality and lifestyle do play roles too, so don't discount that. I've never heard a guy say that he'd never date a blonde, but I have heard them say things like they'd never date a Yankees fan. For me, I could never last with a guy that's too serious. I dated a guy that was funny and goofy at times, but most of the time thought he was too cool for school. He was gorgeous so it was okay for a while, but I always wondered if it would last 'cause I'm a pretty goofy chick and I need someone who's not afraid I'm gonna make him look like an ass

From what I understand and what I've discussed with guys, it's not the fact that MILFs are moms that make them attractive. It's that they are older, wiser, mature, more likely to know a few good tricks, and they still look good. That is a pretty sweet package. MILF was just an acronym coined because many of those older women tend to be mom's. And it's pretty admirable if you manage to have bangin' bod after you've punched out a few kids.

[JennaBella]

I've "punched out" a couple of kids and have been told I'm a MILF lol. I'm in my mid 30's and in pretty good shape. A guy I know was telling me about a male friend of his who purposefully seeks out single mums because he wants to feel part of a family unit. He himself is a divorcee and has a child he sees rarely. My ex is in the process of divorce at present and both of his post-marriage relationships have been with mums (me and new gf) and to add to it his exW already had 3 kids to previous relationships then went on to have two more with him. I wonder if there's any weight in the theory that some men are attracted to mums to create a family for themselves.... And all the better if that mum is his "type" too!! Would be interesting to get a guys perspective on things

[lahnnabell]

I've "punched out" a couple of kids and have been told I'm a MILF lol. I'm in my mid 30's and in pretty good shape. A guy I know was telling me about a male friend of his who purposefully seeks out single mums because he wants to feel part of a family unit. He himself is a divorcee and has a child he sees rarely. My ex is in the process of divorce at present and both of his post-marriage relationships have been with mums (me and new gf) and to add to it his exW already had 3 kids to previous relationships then went on to have two more with him. I wonder if there's any weight in the theory that some men are attracted to mums to create a family for themselves.... And all the better if that mum is his "type" too!! Would be interesting to get a guys perspective on things

I find that pretty disgusting that your friend's friend dates moms with the hopes of "inserting" himself into the family. That's a very selfish reason to want to date someone. Not only that but he's got a kid that he should spend time with. Instead he most likely wants a prepackaged family that isn't connected the same mistakes he made with his past. Makes it seem like a self-defense scheme. If things get ugly or don't go so well, he can just up and leave 'cause it's not his kid. Nice. Ugh.

[HeartIsAching]

I ask this question because this issue has raised it's head a couple of times this year for me.... On both occasions the men concerned have expressed a preference for women who are physically nothing like me
at all yet both have clearly been attracted me. They both described dark haired, voluptous women like Kelly Brook as their ideal woman. Ok, I get it, she's a stunner and very sexy..... But I'm fair haired and slim and have curves in the right places but not on the same magnitude as Miss Brook! I think the reason it really got to me is that my ex's new gf has the height and long dark hair as well as having a good figure. I guess my question is, guys, if you have a "type" do you tend to stick to that or are you always on the look out for women who are more your type than the one you may be with at present? I appreciate this is all very superficial and there are other characteristics that attract people to eachother.
For example, do any of you guys purposefully seek to hook up with women who are mothers? The term
MILF is mentioned a lot by men I work with! What's the attraction?!

I'm typically very type-y, but that's not always good.

I am usually attracted to short, busty, plump women who are very smart, and have long red, brown or reddish-brown hair. They're also usually controlling and shrewish.

However, my wife who is my one-and-only, is tall, not particularly busty, white-haired (not blonde, white) and not at all controlling or shrewish. She is however very smart (probably smarter'n I am, though she won't admit it) and a bit plump. Not my "typical" physical or emotional type, but definitely my dream girl. I wake up every morning to her lovely face, and am amazed at my good fortune.

Having a "type" isn't the be-all and end-all... sometimes it's just where the love is. I get the joy of sleeping with my dream girl every day, she's not anything like most of the women I've gone out with, and that's not a bad thing at all.

I hope that helps.

P.S. WHY are you asking men you're interested in about their type? Is it insecurity?

[pisces25]

My ex definately had a type. I wasn't it. He didn't care so much coz he liked the 'overall package' but he compared me to his ex and other girls that he thought were '10's' a lot and didn't make me feel good at all so the relationship failed. Other people could tell me I was attractive til the cows come home but my BF didn't and that was the only person I wanted to hear it from.

[Yet another guy]

They both described dark haired, voluptous women like Kelly Brook as their ideal woman.

I'm curious, did they mention Kelly Brook, or did you choose her as an example based on their description?

But I'm fair haired

Even if they mentioned that their ideal woman has dark hair, I'm betting that it's far from essential. I'm pretty sure that any hair will be fine for most guys.
Height is another thing that you mention. While it does affect girls attractiveness slightly to some guys, it's far less important to guys than girls.

if you have a "type" do you tend to stick to that

Do you mean that I'd only date girls who are my type? Since we are talking about appearance, of course not. Personality is way more important. Besides, having a type means just that it's more likely that such girls are attractive to me. I find very different looking girls very attractive and in an extreme (and unlikely) case, even a far from type of girl can be more attractive than one who is quite close to my type.

Of course, since guys are the ones to make the first move, and first moves are generally done on people you don't know yet (and thus can't be based on something other than looks), and girls who adhere to the guys type are likely to be more attractive to him, it's statistically probable that an attractive guy will end up dating a girl who's his type.

are you always on the look out for women who are more your type than the one you may be with at present?

When dating, sure, people always welcome a more attractive (looks or otherwise) candidate. And people of ones type are likely to be more attractive. If you have a bf or gf though, I don't think it's generally considered acceptable to be "on the look out" for more attractive people.

The term
MILF is mentioned a lot by men I work with! What's the attraction?!

I guess that MILFs have several supposed advantages
-experience (having children pretty much guarantees they aren't virgins )
-mature (know what they want, aren't confused about sexual stuff like the young girls in their 20s)
probably something more...


ps. I googled this Kelly Brook, far from my type I'd still date her if she's a nerdy hippie.

[lahnnabell]

My ex definately had a type. I wasn't it. He didn't care so much coz he liked the 'overall package' but he compared me to his ex and other girls that he thought were '10's' a lot and didn't make me feel good at all so the relationship failed. Other people could tell me I was attractive til the cows come home but my BF didn't and that was the only person I wanted to hear it from.

How awful

[pisces25]

I think it was cultural. He is Asian and very small himself so as a Western woman I was 'big' to him. In Western culture I am considered quite small. Luckily enough I have healthy self-esteem and the comments were mostly water off a ducks back but it wasn't a sustainable situation. The weird thing was he couldn't understand why it was so important for me for him to WANT me. That was frustrating!

[Wakeup]

My ex definately had a type. I wasn't it. He didn't care so much coz he liked the 'overall package' but he compared me to his ex and other girls that he thought were '10's' a lot and didn't make me feel good at all so the relationship failed. Other people could tell me I was attractive til the cows come home but my BF didn't and that was the only person I wanted to hear it from.

Ya know what? Your ex sounds like a narcissistic asshole. I'm glad to hear he's your ex.

[pisces25]

Ya know what? Your ex sounds like a narcissistic asshole. I'm glad to hear he's your ex.

Thanks Wakeup. It took me a while to get to the point where I could walk away but I am certainly glad I did.

[smackie9]

Lets face it we all desire a "type"....for me it was always car guys lol.

[lahnnabell]

Lets face it we all desire a "type"....for me it was always car guys lol.

Haha, my friend has this uncanny attraction to drummers. Even before she finds out they're drummers!

[smackie9]

Hmmmm have a thing for a guy wearin a tool belt too..........

[smackie9]

I guess I have it all, my husband works in construction, is a car guy and used to be a drummer lol.....