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Thread: should i be made at my girlfriend because shes bisexual?

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    should i be made at my girlfriend because shes bisexual?

    Would it be considered cheating if she has sex with another girl? Sometimes i say no but then sometimes it just bothers me thonking about it. She loves me with all her heart and I know she does truly but one time she told me that she's bi and that she would never want to be be in a relationship with another girl but she said she likes to explore. That was a few months ago and I read her texts messages on her phone recently and she's been talking to a few girls that are gay and saying stuff like they love eachother and they want things to work out between them. Sometimes she will be telling other girls that she lives on her own even though we live together in An apartment. Usually the other girls get made because they want a serious relationship but then my girlfriend usually blows them off when they wanna go out and she's usualy with me and she never picks up the phone for them when I'm around. Shouls I feel hurt by this? It kind of bothers me sometimes but then I look past it because I'm glad she wouldn't cheat on me with another guy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2004mtrx View Post
    Would it be considered cheating if she has sex with another girl?
    Do you think it's cheating?

    If she is having sex with another person, generally people would consider it as cheating, be it with the same sex or otherwise.

    It sounds as though you are hurt, and you are bothered by it, so that says a lot and answers a lot of your own questions.

    It's up to you to consider whether you can accept this in the long term or not.
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    It is cheating if she sleeps with ANYONE other than you bro, my ex was bisexual and thought I'd be ok with her sleeping with other girls, it is cheating if she is seeking sexual pleasure with ANYONE other than you man, you need to tell her that it makes you uncomfortable and I bet she wouldn't like it if you did the same.

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    Is there any girl on here that is bi and is in a relationship with a guy that can give me their opionon also?. Another thing is she is so in love with me that everytime we argue and I leave she calls me right after, crying and telling me that I mean so much to her and I'm her life. Sometimes I don't see it a problem because at least its not another guy giving her pleasure. She always tells me that she would never cheat on me. Now I'm thinking she would never with a guy, and she said ahe would break up with me before she cheated on me. I belive she doeant think its a problem, or considered cheating. But that's why I wanna here other girls that are bi.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2004mtrx View Post
    She always tells me that she would never cheat on me ... I belive she doeant think its a problem, or considered cheating. But that's why I wanna here other girls that are bi.
    If she has been sleeping with other people without you knowing, then she is cheating.

    If you are happy for her to sleep with girls, then it is up to you to decide.

    Quote Originally Posted by 2004mtrx View Post
    I belive she doeant think its a problem, or considered cheating.
    It's not for her to decide whether it is a problem or cheating.

    It's up to you to decide.

    Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it. If you're happy with that, then fine.
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    I thought you said she is your girlfriend; why would have any problems with a girl friend being herself?

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    How old is she, because I would be surprised if she was any older than 25.

    Seems like a lot of girls (and guys) go through a gay phase during their college years for some reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frasbee View Post
    How old is she, because I would be surprised if she was any older than 25.

    Seems like a lot of girls (and guys) go through a gay phase during their college years for some reason.
    She's 19 turning 20 soon, I don't know if it matters but she is african american too. One of her friends told me she used to be in a relationship with a girl. This girl that she was dating apparently dressed a little like a boy. Anyways, my girlfriend always tells me tht she wants me to be in her life forevwr and thqt she hopes to marry me oneday. I'm just hoping her bisexuality changes once she gets a little more mature and older. I really dont know what to do. Lets it slide and hopefully it dies down or somethin.

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    Sleeping with somebody else, regardless of their sex, is CHEATING. I would tell her that you are going to sleep with other girls and see how she responds to that.
    To be honest, I'd dump her right now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boisdevie View Post
    Sleeping with somebody else, regardless of their sex, is CHEATING. I would tell her that you are going to sleep with other girls and see how she responds to that.
    To be honest, I'd dump her right now.
    I understand but its just so hard to see because I'm not bi so I don't know what she's feeling. Why dump her if she really really does love me. I mean if it was a guy I would be so gone out the door with her no matter what. I really need to talk to someone that's bi.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2004mtrx View Post
    I really need to talk to someone that's bi.
    Don't see how that will make a difference.

    You think that being bi means it's OK to cheat, just because it's with the same sex?

    Don't fool yourself.
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxmax View Post
    Don't see how that will make a difference.

    You think that being bi means it's OK to cheat, just because it's with the same sex?

    Don't fool yourself.
    No but I wonder if the people who are bi don't see it as a problem. I still think your right but I don't want to go off on my girlfriend when she didn't think it was such a big deal.

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    Would you be mad at your girlfriend for being black? Would you be mad at her for being taller than you? Would you be mad at her for having curly hair?

    Getting mad at her for something she can't help is just foolish - and it's YOUR problem, not hers.

    If you knowingly got involved with someone that's bisexual, you got involved with somebody that you KNEW had needs you wouldn't be able to fulfill. It's a tough road, but you either need to get over that, or move on. Anything else would be unfair to BOTH of you.

    BTW - looking through her phone is abusive, controlling behavior.

    The way she's acting, she also knows what she's doing is wrong, but I'm guessing she's hiding it due to your negative reaction to her attempts to tell you what she needs.
    Last edited by HeartIsAching; 25-07-11 at 02:26 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2004mtrx View Post
    She's 19 turning 20 soon, I don't know if it matters but she is african american too. One of her friends told me she used to be in a relationship with a girl. This girl that she was dating apparently dressed a little like a boy. Anyways, my girlfriend always tells me tht she wants me to be in her life forevwr and thqt she hopes to marry me oneday. I'm just hoping her bisexuality changes once she gets a little more mature and older. I really dont know what to do. Lets it slide and hopefully it dies down or somethin.
    19, yeah I figured.

    She's going through a phase. It's up to you to decide whether or not she's worth riding it out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2004mtrx View Post
    I really need to talk to someone that's bi.
    I agree, you should talk to a bisexual female about this. If only you knew someone who you were close to and who you could discuss these sorts of things with. Oh wait, your girlfriend is a bisexual female who you are close to. Perfect! Discuss with her.

    Seriously, she's the only one you should be talking to about this. Everyone is different, everyone has different boundaries, and everyone has different ideas about what is okay and what is not okay, bisexual or otherwise. No one can tell you whether you should be hurt by this or not. If you're hurt, that's okay. Tell her. Set some boundaries that you can both feel comfortable with. If you two can't come to an understanding, then you should end it.

    But if it helps, I can tell you for a fact that there are bisexual people out there who would not at all agree with how your girlfriend is behaving, especially about her lying to people about her living situation.

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