GF troubles, need some help please

[twm.28]

Okay, first of all I have been together with my girlfriend for almost 10 months. I love her and she makes it clear she loves me and cares about me. But about a month ago I was caught in a huge lie. Over our relationship she would ask about me talking to this girl last summer, before i was with her. But she found out I did text her and she got upset. Mainly because it was brought up so many times and i always lied about it. So she said she wanted some time however we ended up together the next day. But now she says she wants some time to think for herself because she gives into me too easily which is what she did before. She isn't sure if she trusts me because I lied about something that didn't matter several times and she might think there's more. But there's not. And she wont believe me when i say there isn't. What should I do though? I really don't want to lose her. And i texted her today and asked "what if after you're done thinking you decide you don't want to be together?" She responded with "That's not going to happen. That's why I didn't even say we're on a break. I just wanna clear my own head" WIll she come back to me? What should I do? I regret that stupid lie more than anything.

[MaidenMinx]

Just wondering, what on Earth made you lie multiple times? If you can answer that you may be well on your way to solving your problem.
Make sure you have know way of contacting the other girl and never lie again.

[twm.28]

Just wondering, what on Earth made you lie multiple times? If you can answer that you may be well on your way to solving your problem.
Make sure you have know way of contacting the other girl and never lie again.

I was just plain stupid. I was thinking if I said I did she would get upset so I figured she wouldn't find out. I just wanted her to be happy. But I learned my lesson that's for sure!

[bulrush]

Your current gf got jealous of someone you texted before you two were even dating? Wow, what a head case.

This is the reason I'm completely honest with women about everything. It's a test of their insecurities and their confidence. I find out real early if they are a head case or just plain crazy. If they are I move on.

[MaidenMinx]

I was just plain stupid. I was thinking if I said I did she would get upset so I figured she wouldn't find out. I just wanted her to be happy. But I learned my lesson that's for sure!

This is such a stupid mistake to make (and one that my husband is still making, but he's a dufus).

Hubby and I had a similar scenario when we got together which resulted in me telling him to delete all contact info of hers. It caused problems for years. I used to ask often "If you can lie about the little things, what big lies are you hiding?" or I'd ask "I keep catching you out on lies, so what I want to know is what have you lied about and gotten away with to make you think you can get away with these lies?" Over time I came to realised that he lies for 2 reasons. 1) to plan a surprise or 2) to avoid trouble. Reason 2 frustrates the crap out of me because I end up with 2 reasons to be frustrated.
Take this morning for example, he slept on the couch last night and when he came into bed for cuddles in the wee hours this morning I asked "why didn't you come to bed last night?" He said "I just fell asleep" "No you didn't" I respond "you turned all the lights off including the one in here. So why did you sleep on the couch last night?" "there was no room in the bed" "Not true. Every time I woke up last night I was on my side of the bed and it was too cold too stretch out. So why did you sleep on the couch last night?" he mumbled some BS and got into bed. I got up frustrated to discover that he had slept on the couch so he was less likely to get busted for drinking the wine I keep for cooking (it's actually decent wine). Yes he is in the dog house today but the dog house is carpeted. :p

Ummm there was a point here somewhere... I guess that if you meet the right chick fibs won't mean the end of a relationship.

[IncognitoSir]

She's insecure and your a habitual liar. Due to the circumstance, you're also untrustworthy now. It had nothing to do with your relationship so she had no business inquiring about it in the first place. You lied for "no reason" and now you've been deemed untrustworthy. It's gonna take a lot of talking on your part and he getting passed her insecurities and understanding your twisted point of view to lie in the first place. It's a long shot man, but give it a shot if you care to save your relationship.

[squire654]

Wow. One question I have is - if it was truly nothing - I think you said something like "I lied over something that didn't matter" why did you lie? Which is probably what she is thinking. If it was truly nothing there would be no reason to lie. You might not mention something if it was truly nothing, but certainly you wouldn't lie about it, because - well - it's nothing.

Saying you didn't want to get her upset, sounds noble, until you realize you had to lie to prevent it. That's the problem with lies. Once they are out, no matter what they are about, the lie makes the truth 2 times, or more, worse than it is. Try not to do it in the future. It's unpleasant to deal with upset people but better than lying. If they can't handle you telling the honest to god truth they have more problems than you.

The good thing is it sounds like she really cares about you. In your shoes I'd tell her I was a total a**hole and tell her she is more important than anyone in the past and ask her what she would like you to do. Also, I don't know why, but flowers seems to work like magic. I had to give my girlfriends flowers so often I became an expert of sorts. A nice bouquet of roses will run you from 50 to 125 bucks. You can get cheaper but the top of the line ones look better, and last a lot longer. They hang around long enough so you can get a word in edgewise and work your magic. If you don't have "magic" to work try puppy dog eyes and whimpering. Always worked for me.