Getting signals from sister in law?

[Incognito]

Yeah, so I almost didn't even post about this, but here is the story. About a year ago I [thought] that I might be getting some sort of signals from my sister in law that she is attracted to me. Long story short was that a bunch of family was together and she sat next to me and put her legs up across mine. I was very uncomfortable with the gesture, but let her sit there for over an hour. There is never any physical contact between us unless we are hugging hello or hugging goodbye. At any rate I dismissed that situation as me reading too much into it. She also lived out of state at the time.

Fast forward to now and she lives about 20 minutes from me. Since she moved here she has been over to my house quite a bit. She usually greets me when I come in, unlike my wife, and almost always addresses me with a pet name. Between last year and now she always addressed me with a pet name and always joked with me when I saw her. Anyway, back to the present, so although we don't have physical contact she will come up to me and start punching my ribs or stomach (not too hard though). I usually just laugh that off or act like I'm going to hit back and she'll do a girly little scream and recoil. Again, I tried to chalk that up as just the way she is.

There have been other little things here and there like comments about how she likes my hair and such, but about two days ago she said "I need to stop being so sexy". For whatever reason I have a habit of posing with one arm up on the wall/doorway and the other in my pocket when I am talking to people. I was talking to her and my wife and she was quick to point out the posing and made a little joke about it. She then went to the basement and I said something like "you shouldn't be concerned about how I stand" and she said "well you need to stop being so sexy". I was a bit shocked that she said that because it was out loud and only one room away from my wife/ her sister.

Again, am I reading too much into this or might this be a problem in the future?

[oldskool83]

its not a problem if you dont make it one.

[Lovable]

Could be something that could lead to something more down the line that you would need to be concerned about.

If I were you, I would talk to the sister in law. At this moment not totally sure how best to bring it up though...not awake enough for example starting off points with talking to her.

[Incognito]

its not a problem if you dont make it one.

Point noted.

Could be something that could lead to something more down the line that you would need to be concerned about.

If I were you, I would talk to the sister in law. At this moment not totally sure how best to bring it up though...not awake enough for example starting off points with talking to her.

I probably won't bring this up in conversation with her. If I'm wrong I'll look like a major jerk, and it could make things very awkward.

[vashti]

does your wife know about this? if she does, i'd expect she will handle it. stand back.

[Incognito]

I don't know if she does or not. She is a smart women, but misses things sometimes. Basically she doesn't read between the lines a lot. She is the type of person who who is easy to get a gift for and surprise with minimal effort because she doesn't put two and two together sometimes. Anyway, even if I voiced this to her directly she'd brush it off and say "no I don't think that is the case, its just her personality".

[oldskool83]

id honestly just watch it, your aware somthing is bothering ya. keep an eye on it if it continues for a lenght of time id tell your wife you just noticed she acting funny like wanting attention or somthing.

[Incognito]

I guess the caveat in this situation is that I like the attention (if she is indeed giving me "attention"), that she is attractive, and my marriage is unsatisfying. Not the best of combinations there, but it is what it is. Its funny that I have thought about this a lot lately. I certainly wouldn't want to cheat, especially with a sister in law. Plus even if the wife and I got divorced I know a relationship wouldn't work between the sister in law and I because some of the traits that I absolutely HATE in my wife are stronger in her, namely anger issues. Although she surpasses the wife in other areas.

I swear if I had the money I'd leave all of this behind and move to another country for a year. I'd love to live nomadically in Mongolia, as long as I had a way to get steady food and water.

[oldskool83]

i think theres a bigger issue here, your not happy what what you married and prob need to work on that. If your happy with somthing you can becomes blind to situations that could become situations, i know this for a fact. Id sure hate to see you post 3 months from now your getting divorced and some bigger crap hit the fan.

[sweetest]

there's another way to look at this.

I know from experience, recent experience, that some women enjoy knowing that another woman's man is showing them attention.

My husband had an affair, and I was devastated. The woman involved made a play for my husband, and unfortunately he went along with it. I found out what was going on, quite quickly a few months ago.

The woman actively pursued my husband, openly flirting with him and he was I guess flattered by the attention. As I said I was devastated- she seemed to take pleasure from my distress and pain. It took my husband a while to realise what was happening, and he continued the affair for a few months. I tipped him out when I first found out - no messing, he was gone within two days.

However after a while, he seemed to have come to his senses, and wanted to come back. But I won't have him back, he's hurt me far too much. Needless to say he's devastated now.

The other woman has behaved like a woman scorned and has had what seems to be a desperate urge to part with information and detail with regard to what had been going on, and is obviously finding it hard to accept that my husband does not want to be with her. He wants me. He's lost a lot. The woman who loved him completely and honestly, his children, and his home.

I'd say to you, steer clear for your own sake, and for the sake of your wife, and if you have children, for them also. Trust me, no good whatsoever will come of such a relationship.

[tremolo]

However after a while, he seemed to have come to his senses, and wanted to come back. But I won't have him back, he's hurt me far too much. Needless to say he's devastated now.

Atta girl.

[sweetest]

@ tremelo

please take a look at my thread on ask a male.

My goodness how things change.

My husband iis so aware of the possibility that one day, sooner or later someone might actually find me attractive and want to get to know me. It looks like it's happening right now, and guess what, he doesn't like it.

x