Girlfriend not wanting sex, please help!

[violete]

if you already tried all the talking, you have only two options. as redmagnum said..one is that you wait for her to have sex with you and it may take some time (i don't believe you know all the right reasons why she is not having sex with you) or you dump her (cause the way i see it, she's "walking" away from you already).

[rafterman]

Nice trolling attempt there buddy, sure you know all about a wanker cramp!

Intimacy* btw.

Thanks for the spelling tips Sfen. Cool story bro.

[sweetest]

I know that 'dirty' feeling your gf describes. It's a dreadful feeling, and it happens straight away after sex or even during sex.

It is a symptom, and not the cause of the problems you're having.

She feels dirty for a reason.

Having experienced feeling dirty about myself before, I now know why. It's because my feelings had changed. I don't know about other women, but my emotions - love - intimacy - are all entwined, i can not separate any from the other. When i love intimately/sexually it's because i love with my heart and my mind. I also don't enjoy being intimate with a guy if I don't have feelings for him, and haven't slept with anyone who I haven't had feelings for for a very long time, i know that i just can't do it.

In my experience the loss of, or change in my feelings has almost always had something to do with my man; he's treated me badly, lied to me, cheated on me etc. I'm not saying that this is the same for everyone, it's just what has happened to me.

Maybe you could talk with you gf, there could be something that's troubling her about your relationship.

good luck

[sythmod]

Thanks, yeah I'll have to talk to her when she comes back from her holiday!

[redmagnum]

Some girls also get wierd about sex...........it has to "feel right" as in, they need a connection, and even though this is not the case here, if they feel like you are just with them because it's a convenient source for sex until you find something better...........they get "strange" about it.

Trust me, I have access to female freinds who share their "mindset" with me, and some women create things in their heads that sometimes are totally untrue.

[sythmod]

Some girls also get wierd about sex...........it has to "feel right" as in, they need a connection, and even though this is not the case here, if they feel like you are just with them because it's a convenient source for sex until you find something better...........they get "strange" about it.

Trust me, I have access to female freinds who share their "mindset" with me, and some women create things in their heads that sometimes are totally untrue.

I see... well the thing is, she gives a lot of signs that she loves me, it's just that their not physically. Like when we're together, I know that the way she looks at me, and how she still laugh at my jokes that she still got a lot of feelings for me.

[redmagnum]

Like was said above, she's 17 and isn't sure what she wants yet........she may be having feelings she's never had before, or maybe things are moving too fast and she wants to slow down.......

If you love her, and you think she loves you, then talk to her about it, and wait until she's ready to resume a more physical relationship.

[IncognitoSir]

Its crazy because yall were having sex all the time, then bam, she feels dirty. You sound like a nice guy, which is cool for now I guess. Like you said, while you respect her feelings YOU do have needs as well. You can stick around and wait on here to "feel clean" or move on. Odds are, you're not going anywhere though. I can see this thing turning into resentment real fast though.You may not see it now, but imagine 3 months from today. You'll be arguing for no reason, hella sexually frustrated, and fed up of having sex with yourself instead of your girlfriend. You are in a tough position bro.

[Rhainnonxx]

or maybe she felt uncomfortable or embarrassed to tell him she wasnt enjoying sex and as they became closer in the relationship she felt comfortable enough to say something, i dont know its just another point of veiw. and she might be too young she might not be, it depends on the girl, not all 17 year olds hate sex or arn't ready for it. personally i say talk to her and ask if its something you can help her with or if she is just not attracted to you the same way. be honest with how its making you feel, and try to figure out exactly why she isnt in to it and see if you can help her get past it. you say she is really special, so dont just walk away.

another really sad possibility is something a friend of mine pulled when we were younger, she was dating a guy and having sex with him and abruptly stopped just to see if he would stick around, like a "test". sad but true. i hope your girlfriend isnt doing that because testing is not a healthy thing to do, but it was just a thought

[sythmod]

Thanks a lot for the replies guys, i'm definitely taking a note of all you're saying i really think you're onto something though Rhainnox, not the testing part but the other one, it might be very true, havent really thought of it like that!

[sythmod]

If anyone cares she/we broke up today... guess some of you were right.. it was all just a slow way of breaking up i guess..

[MaidenMinx]

Dude, sorry to hear that. The one good thing about this is that you are young and you'll bounce back.

[HeartIsAching]

If anyone cares she/we broke up today... guess some of you were right.. it was all just a slow way of breaking up i guess..

You'll be better off in the long run. Romance at your age is practice for the real thing later, anyhow. I know it hurts but you'll get better, I promise.

[smackie9]

As painful as any break up might be....the pain will go away, and you will feel great again. Just take it one day at a time, keep busy and try not to think about her, or what you think went wrong.....nothing went wrong, this is just part of growing up. You learn, you grow, you move on a little wiser.

[sythmod]

It is kinda sad.. but I also feel relieved. Now I dont have to think about why the feelings didnt feel mutual, or why she didnt want to have sex. It kinda just all sums up and i know it's best for the both of us.
I'll meet her tomorrow for the last time, probably last time ever.. we decided not to be friends as it will probably just be really weird..
So that's 1 and a half year of a great friendship and a relationship over.. but it's true what you say Smackie andHeartIsAching, i'm definetly wiser and i've learned a lot to take with me further on with romances!