lie about # of sex partners?

[Incognito]

What the hell are you talking about? I simply pointed out the underlying message in Sonrisa's argument; -If they have had more partners than me, they're a skank-. All of her posts in the past 2 pages are her making assumptions about character and sexual promiscuity based on a simple number.

I have made no assumptions other than the ones based on what Sonrisa has said, and I stand by it. She has 9, will not sleep with someone with 10 or more because of a character judgment. THAT is completely rediculous when she is riding the line herself.

As for me pushing my opinion around, using your example about ugly girls, I haven't said anything or made any biased judgments of the sort. You're just jumping in to help out because everyone wants to be on Sonrisa's good side.

Riiiiight. And I didn't already address sonrisa's labeling of people with more than 10 sexual partners as skanks. Oh wait, I did. I also laid out exactly why it (her view, not her labeling) isn't ridiculous, which you obviously didn't read before posting. You also said the bold portion above, THAT is a judgement right there. You are stating that she is being unreasonable simply for exercising her personal opinion. Again, that is stupid. If you've had many partners, well good for you. If you don't care about how many partners your girlfriend/fiancee had then good for you. However you can't condemn someone else for not being as "open" or "forgiving" as you are. Actually you can, but you just make yourself look like as ass. Mission accomplished I suppose.

As far as "jumping in to help out" just because it is sonrisa and because I think it will somehow keep me on her "good side" you obviously don't realize how stupid that sounds. I've never met sonrisa and probably never will. We only have brief exchanges on LF and that is it, so I'm not worried about being on her good side or anyone else's here for that matter. If you'd have made the same assertions that she did I'd have said the same things.

[Cerby]

Riiiiight. And I didn't already address sonrisa's labeling of people with more than 10 sexual partners as skanks. Oh wait, I did. I also laid out exactly why it (her view, not her labeling) isn't ridiculous, which you obviously didn't read before posting. You also said the bold portion above, THAT is a judgement right there. You are stating that she is being unreasonable simply for exercising her personal opinion. Again, that is stupid. If you've had many partners, well good for you. If you don't care about how many partners your girlfriend/fiancee had then good for you. However you can't condemn someone else for not being as "open" or "forgiving" as you are. Actually you can, but you just make yourself look like as ass. Mission accomplished I suppose.

As far as "jumping in to help out" just because it is sonrisa and because I think it will somehow keep me on her "good side" you obviously don't realize how stupid that sounds. I've never met sonrisa and probably never will. We only have brief exchanges on LF and that is it, so I'm not worried about being on her good side or anyone else's here for that matter. If you'd have made the same assertions that she did I'd have said the same things.

Well, I'm glad this thread brought up some decent exchange for once. Too bad the topic itself has pretty much been blown to bits.

You're right, I am putting a judgement out on her for sitting on the fence throwing rocks at those just barely on the other side. This isn't a virgin girl who is cursing all us skanks to hell, this is someone who simply condemns those who have gone just a little further than she has. You can bet the farm if her number goes up, the fence will move too. I also don't doubt for a second if she met a totally awesome guy who had 11 or 12 partners she would glady toss that judgement out the window.

But yes, you're right, everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter what it might be, and that I won't argue with. I just believe that in this case the opinion expressed is borderline hypocritical based on where she stands in the numbers game.

We're just going to start attacking each other in the next few posts, its coming down to a battle of opinion and less and less about the actual topic at hand. I'm done with the thread, but will continue to read to see if it comes back on topic or not.

[Sonrisa]

What the hell are you talking about? I simply pointed out the underlying message in Sonrisa's argument; -If they have had more partners than me, they're a skank-. All of her posts in the past 2 pages are her making assumptions about character and sexual promiscuity based on a simple number.

I have made no assumptions other than the ones based on what Sonrisa has said, and I stand by it. She has 9, will not sleep with someone with 10 or more because of a character judgment. THAT is completely rediculous when she is riding the line herself.

As for me pushing my opinion around, using your example about ugly girls, I haven't said anything or made any biased judgments of the sort. You're just jumping in to help out because everyone wants to be on Sonrisa's good side.

i don't see that many people jumping to my side.

[IndiReloaded]

So a person who has slept with 100 other people should never have to disclose that? I think that is bullsh*t. Some people are absolutely repulsed by others' sluttyiness. All things come to light in time, so to hide a fact like that from someone who really has a problem with [larger] numbers it will be a real bite in the ass later on when: 1. the true number is known, and 2. when the partner finds out that the other lied or covered it up. I think it is more important to not be a slut (speaking of both men and women) if you don't want to admit it. In fact, I think that goes with most things in life. If you don't want to admit it then you probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place. If you do it, own it.

Oh thank goodness I didn't have to post this. I'm w/Cog tho: if I'm seeing a man-ho, I'd want to know. How much it affected me would depend on other things. But if he lied about it, that would be an instant dump.

[Sonrisa]

Well, I'm glad this thread brought up some decent exchange for once. Too bad the topic itself has pretty much been blown to bits.

You're right, I am putting a judgement out on her for sitting on the fence throwing rocks at those just barely on the other side. This isn't a virgin girl who is cursing all us skanks to hell, this is someone who simply condemns those who have gone just a little further than she has. You can bet the farm if her number goes up, the fence will move too. I also don't doubt for a second if she met a totally awesome guy who had 11 or 12 partners she would glady toss that judgement out the window.

But yes, you're right, everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter what it might be, and that I won't argue with. I just believe that in this case the opinion expressed is borderline hypocritical based on where she stands in the numbers game.

We're just going to start attacking each other in the next few posts, its coming down to a battle of opinion and less and less about the actual topic at hand. I'm done with the thread, but will continue to read to see if it comes back on topic or not.

ha? i am not attacking you. i did say 9 in 14 years though, if that means anything. is there a chance that that number will never rise and what would that mean?

[Sonrisa]

Oh thank goodness I didn't have to post this. I'm w/Cog tho: if I'm seeing a man-ho, I'd want to know. How much it affected me would depend on other things. But if he lied about it, that would be an instant dump.

also, i am VERY paranoid about diseases and have made men take blood tests prior to engaging in any kind of relationship.

[IndiReloaded]

If you have to lie or hide it, that means you are embarrassed about it.

Its not the number per se, but what it says about someone's inability to maintain a relationship. I actually have more respect those those who boast about their numbers b/c they are being honest about what they want.

[Cerby]

ha? i am not attacking you. i did say 9 in 14 years though, if that means anything. is there a chance that that number will never rise and what would that mean?

No, you're not, but its getting to that point with Incog, so I'll agree that its all opinion based, and going after someone for an opinion is closed-minded on my part.

There is always a chance that number will rise, and its up to you to tell us what it would mean.

[ctr916]

I hope chicks won't think too badly of me if I claim I need to get used for sex by nice girls with cute snatches, before I can clamor for a relationship.

[rafterman]

I hope chicks won't think too badly of me if I claim I need to get used for sex by nice girls with cute snatches, before I can clamor for a relationship.

No Im sure they'd love you, judging by your pathetic attitude towards them

[smackie9]

I resent the fact that people discriminate against those who have a number above their moral high standards, it would be no different than me saying »I would never date someone that has less than 10, to me that would make them less experienced and lousy in bed so why waste time getting to know them. You make it out to be that its bad, dangerous, that they are totally untrustworthy, and could never commit to a healthy happy long term relationship even though I myself have been faithful to my husband for over 20 years and numbers never mattered. And for your information I wasn't the type to hop into bed just because, at parties, etc. I was dating these people, a few were fwb.....I wasn't `"sleeping around" with guy after guy.

I can see asking about a few past relationships, but how many you have slept with is a ridiculous way to gauge a persons character period.

[smackie9]

No Im sure they'd love you, judging by your pathetic attitude towards them

Its total sarcasm dude.

[IndiReloaded]

I resent the fact that people discriminate against those who have a number above their moral high standards, it would be no different than me saying »I would never date someone that has less than 10, to me that would make them less experienced and lousy in bed so why waste time getting to know them.

You think so? I wonder, all else being equal (looks, career, intelligence) that if a guy was choosing b/t two women--one who slept w/a lot of partners and one with comparably few--who do you think he would choose?

I can see asking about a few past relationships, but how many you have slept with is a ridiculous way to gauge a persons character period.

Not ridiculous at all. Its one metric out of many. It can tell quite a lot, actually: their self-esteem, their attitude about sex, their self-control. Like I said, if it really isn't important then why be reluctant to discuss? At least with someone you are considering for an LTR? Hiding the fact means it IS an issue.

[ctr916]

No Im sure they'd love you, judging by your pathetic attitude towards them

You don't think I may have to tempt them with a full body massage with happy ending?

[smackie9]

I would never be reluctant to tell all....but my past doesn't dictate who I am.......like Cerby says its the here and now. I never had lack of control...lack of control is cheating or random sex with a coworker in a janitorial closet or sex with a stranger in a bathroom stall....my sexual life was never like that at all.