lie about # of sex partners?

[zerokool189]

I have recently gotten into a relationship with someone I really like and she seems to feel the same. I've been in 4 previous relationships and have told her about them. I have always been a pretty good guy and never slept around. I did however meet someone earlier this year and we both really hit it off, she was also about 12 years older than me. We had sex one time, but she said it didn't count... after that time we got into an argument and we both felt like we should go separate ways. My question is should I tell this new girl that I've been with four or five people? I am really honest, but the new girl and I haven't had sex yet. We haven't talked about prior partners either... I would feel bad lying to her, but I don't consider the fifth girl to be a real partner

Has anyone else lied in the past?

[smackie9]

Your numbers and her numbers are no ones business. Nothing wrong with talking about a past relationship or two but you don't have to tell all. Ive been with my husband for over 21 years and we both haven't divulged 100% of our past relationships because to us that isn't important....I could care less really, we are just happy that we found each other.

Now you will get some people on here that believe that you should never keep secrets...not giving 100% details about your dating past isn't keeping secrets, if you had a kid with someone and didn't saying anything about it, now that is keeping a secret, but who you slept with or what sexual positions or toys you used or if there, etc...that's not important....there are things that are just best forgotten. So you had a fling with some woman, so frickin what.....will it really make a difference if you say nothing about it? no.

[rafterman]

4 or five relationships is F all. Whats her problem? Did she expect you're a virgin?

[bulrush]

4 or 5 partners is not that much. Do you want her to like you for your past relationships, or your present personality? Think about it.

Past relationships are in the past, leave them there. Maybe you learned something positive from them, but leave the past in the past.

[IndigoGal]

I would say to just be honest about it. Why lie? 4 or 5, neither is that much. Still, I'm not big on discussing numbers at all. I wouldn't volunteer a number or the information about that older woman. If it comes up or she asks, I'd advise being honest.

[HeartIsAching]

Why tell her anything? If she asks, just say "That's none of your business."

If she has a problem with it, that's her insecurity talking.

[Cerby]

Numbers mean F-all, I never ask and never tell. Relationships are about the here and now, and over time, about the future. NEVER about the past.

[Lovable]

I agree, past relationships are in the past & don't need to be discussed in that kind of detail.

My guy & I have talked about certain things regarding past relationships, even his marriage when he was younger. He mentioned that he slept around alot (on his own), but he also said he was stupid at that time in his life. I never questioned the amount of women or even felt insecure about it. That was his past just like my past is my past.

It's not part of the here & now. Your here & now is this girl you are starting to have a relationship with, enjoy it & her & let things go as they may.

[maxmax]

4 or 5?

Does it really matter? It barely makes any difference at all.

It shouldn't make a difference to her either.

[Incognito]

Well you didn't say how long you two have been together. If, possibly, you two had been together for a long time this may be something that she wants to know. If you two are still simply in the dating process the number is irrelevant. When two of my friends got married the woman wanted to know how many other women he had been with. She actually wanted a list. Sadly it was pages long, which caused a bit of an argument, but she got what she asked for. The difference between four and five partners is nothing, not to mention that a number won't give away the fact that the 5th was a fling with an older woman. A number is only a number, but details aren't (and shouldn't be) her concern.

[smackie9]

Well If I was dating someone that kept needling me over knowing more details about my past it would be over.

[sweetest]

As many have said, it doesn't matter about previous relationships. It really shouldn't matter a jot that you've had 4 or 5 previously.

In fact if it were me, and if the matter came up, i'd be asking myself questions if there are reasons why someone hadn't had few previous relationships.

You know what they say, men are like chocolates, as time goes on only the nutty and weird ones are left.

[Incognito]

^^^ LOL, no I've never heard that saying, but it makes sense.

[Vanessa]

You don't have to tell her anything. If you feel like sharing your whole sexual history, it's your up to you, 4 or 5 is pretty much the same thing, but I don't see the point or relevance. I've never lied 'cause I never got asked and never ask myself. As long as they don't have some kind of STD I couldn't care less how many people they've shagged.

[Wakeup]

men are like chocolates, as time goes on only the nutty and weird ones are left.

haha.. good one!

Just so's ya know, I'll be stealing that one.. (love it).