How to finally say goodbye

[donelly1]

We dated for about a year and a half and did NC for about 3 months after we broke up. Recently though I have started hanging out with my ex again. Its been several weeks since I met up with my ex and I still havent cut contact with my ex. The only reason I got back in contact with her was because she said she wanted to get back together but she is lately confused and wont commit to dating again. I have made it a point to always put friends and other things as a priority instead of my ex. I thought that as long as she didnt get in the way of other things like me developing a social circle in my new city that it would be alright to be in touch with her but I am finding out that even that is not working

Things are going well for me other than my situation with my ex but lately it has been on my mind so much which is why I wanted to post here. She has been still acting confused towards me sending me late night texts that she misses me and calling me every so often sending flirty messages but not ever saying she wants to get back together. Lately I had a talk with one of her best friends who Im also friends with. She brought up the topic of me and my ex and it was good to talk to her, but she told me that she thought my ex was being kinda flaky about the whole thing too.

The next time I see her its gonna be 2 weeks from now and I think that will be the last time. She booked this bus tour thing and so Im gonna do that with her and then afterwards I plan to finally say goodbye to her. I know I could just go cold turkey and not talk to her now but I feel like it would be best to say it to her in person and then leave it at that. I wanna be mature about it and tell her that I really had a great time while I was with her but that obviously we both feel differently now so its probably best not to talk or stay in touch for a long time.

I gave it another shot and really put a lot on the line as I have been in touch with her now for a few weeks but things are not improving and I feel like I basically was burned yet again by her. I guess I was just hoping that things would come around but I now think that I need to just cut lose. I cant move on or date anyone new if I always have this weird sort of friends with benefits situation with my ex. Ultimatly its my situation but I was curious if anyone has any advice or similar experience. Its been on my mind all the time for the last week or so...

I feel like love deserves many chances and I gave it a 2nd chance but got burned. Maybe it would be worth it to try again but unfortunatly I just dont have it in me and Im really tired of feeling so heart broken.

How do you say good-bye for good to someone you love, and what do you say to them when it might be the last time that you will ever see them?

[Horseyguy]

Just be honest and tell them what you just posted, how it's made you feel, how you just don't have the energy for it anymore and then just say goodbye and walk away and don't go back

It's hard but I think you might actually end up feeling relieved. I know I did. I fought for 5 months and in the end I just felt so drained. I was really upset when I realised the only option I had left if I wanted to be true to myself was to walk away but when I did I actually felt a big sense of relief.

Still had to deal with it and move on but saying goodbye was the start point. If I hadn't taken that step I'd still be fighting for something that was just causing more pain

[Dank]

Dude i'm in the same boat best way is to clear your mind and just completely cut her off change everything i guess :/ Goodluck!

Just say bye and do what you have to do change your number. don't look back

[devonbrown]

Just let her know it isn't working for you and that you really enjoyed your time together but you think it is best if the two of you move on. Look forward instead of backward. That sort of thing.

But, waiting 2 weeks to tell her is weak. Waiting to go on a bus tour with her and then dumping her? Pathetic. If you want to dump her and go no contact, then do it. Maybe she would like to take someone else on the bus tour. Maybe she would like to bring a friend with her and spend the whole time bad-mouthing you. Don't make her wait and give her false hope by going on the bus tour with her. That is pretty low. Think about it from her perspective, not just yours.