What should I do??

[Adam7]

I have a situation here people. I'm 18, and am currently dating this girl (17) who I've had serious feelings for for about 6 years. In the beginning I was kind of a coward and just talked to her, never made it anything serious. I had gone through many issues with her, but finally I kissed her and made it official about 5 months ago.

The relationship is very strong, and we are beginning to discovery our sexual abilities. I'm a virgin, mostly because I have chased this girl and really only this girl for so long. She had the same feelings for me, it's just we didn't really know how to handle them at such a young age when we met and it was hard to get out of the "friend zone". Anyway, the last few weeks have been very exciting. Last week she let me eat her out (for a first timer I didn't do to bad, never froze or got nervous because I really do trust and love this girl), and today she asked me to finger her, which I did, very well. She came, which felt amazing on my hand, but it was at that moment I felt a very weird emotion. It was a mix of jealousy, happiness, pleasure, confusion, and it all hit me at once.

Heres our problem, and why I'm posting here. I'm going to college in 2 weeks, she's going to our community college, but I'm going about 5 hours away. I know that this seperation is really going to make me go nuts. She also will not give me a blowjob because she is "scared" and doesn't want to have sex until marriage. This makes me confused and I'm getting extremely mixed signals. I wouldn't mind if I had another school year with her to figure it out, but I don't. And I really do want to have sex with this girl, and she wants to with me, but she has a mental block. I have no clue what I should do. And than when I get to college, I will be presented with many sex oppurtunities, and I don't know how I should handle them. 4 years is a long time. What should I say/do/ask?

[Gabrielº]

She also will not give me a blowjob because she is "scared" and doesn't want to have sex until marriage. This makes me confused and I'm getting extremely mixed signals.

This sounds like a job for 'I Love You Man' go rent it/redbox it/netflix it, it will teach you what you need to know.

You don't have to, your situation just made me think of that movie. And I love that movie.

Anyways, my suggestion is to tell her how you felt (before and after) about giving it to her. Then maybe she'll see some similar feelings between the both of you about oral sex. Common ground is a good thing.

But seriously, watch that movie!

[devonbrown]

Any relationship needs good communication. But you are both at a very interesting point in your lives. As you said, you have focused on only her for almost 6 years now. When you go off to school, you will realize there are many other girls out there and some of them might be more of a match for you.

Basically I would suggest that the two of you agree to see other people when college starts for both of you with an understanding that you still care for each other. But don't cut yourself off from life experiences that you will only have one chance to explore. Do what needs to be done for you and have her do what needs to be done for her. If those things still match up after a while, great. If not, then it wasn't meant to be.

Good luck.

[lahnnabell]

Yeah... This one is the toughest transition for young people (emotional transition anyway) who are headed to college. High school sweethearts don't hold the same magic and it takes a lot more effort to keep a relationship together in between driving distances, matching schedules, homework, classes, etc.

I think you should start talking about this now. Find out how she feels about things and try to come to an agreement about either breaking up, or staying together. Some people can make it work, but that entirely depends on how invested you guys are in this. Even if you do stay together, people drift apart all the time. My high school sweetheart and I split halfway through college because I was meeting other people. I spent more time around my classmates and other friends than I did with him. It didn't make sense to stay together, especially since I could feel myself developing feelings for someone else.