How to get over it??? I can't even eat...

[missme]

I just can't get over my ex, not only did I think he was the love of my life and everything was good, but he broke up with me in such a cruel way (he left me a note and just vanished)

I can't eat, I can't sleep without sleeping pills, I can't get him out of my head...plus a million other stressful things are going on in my life.

I hate most that I can't eat...I get hungry, starving even, but when I go to eat I just feel sick, I can't stomach it. I need to eat, I am feeling weak, and I try so hard, but it just seems to be getting worse.

Any tips or advice?
Thanks

[Cerby]

Ages, how long were you together, first relationship?

[Vanessa]

Was it a really long relationship? How long has it been since the breakup?

There's no instructions guide for break-up recovery, you just have to see what works out for you... Try doing stuff you enjoy. It's not as if he was the only good thing in your life. For me jogging / working out / dancing gives me an adrenaline rush that makes me feel like I can pretty much make the world my b*tch.

Force yourself to eat, anything, light stuff, yogurt, chicken, fruit. Once you do it you should feel better and find it easier to eat again. The longer you go without it the worse you'll feel.

[Jenswaiting]

I went through something similar a few weeks ago. I would suggest that when you decide you need to eat, to first take all possible steps to be calm. If you have a hard time even fixing anything start out with juices and fruit, these are very easy on the stomach. If you can't manage fruit then have smoothies. Rice, bread, pasta are all good to settle your stomach and alll will help you sleep better as well. You need to take care of yourself and realise that this is part of the mourning period. Try your hardest to eat, but remember you are the only person who can help yourself.

Try anything you can to destress, take a bath, workout, yoga....you name it whatever helps you relax do it and you'll feel better. The pain will lessen over time, just be patient with yourself.

[DarkHelmet82]

Ive been where you are and worse.. trust me.

Heres what you do.... put peanut butter on EVERYTHING. In terms of getting over it, you need to keep busy and work on yourself. It sounds stupid and when people told me that i thought they were crazy. You can't just STOP thinking about him, but you can do it less, and eventually get to the point where it won't bother you.

[Andariel]

I am guessing that the break up is still relatively fresh?Same thing happened to me when I broke up with my ex. I felt really hungry but could hardly eat during the first couple of weeks. I mostly lived on chocolate and sugar. Try making something really simple at first; rice with grated parmesan cheese on top worked for me (just takes 10 minutes to make) or maybe just a slice of bread with a bit of cheese. Try also eating fruits-berries and grapes did the trick for me. For the time-being try to avoid coffee and tea as you are having trouble sleeping as well, so caffeine won't help at all. Camomile tea is good for the stomach and doesn't contain any caffeine-use honey instead of sugar as well. Honey is great because, among other things, it boosts your immune sstem and you need that now that you can't eat properly and your body can't get all the stuff it needs from food. If you're into dairy products, try some Greek yogurt with honey-tastes great and it's full of nutrients that will make your body feel better.

When you are feeling hungry but can't eat, try writing your thoughts down before you eat. People had suggested writing stuff down to me as well and I kind of laughed it off at first but in the end decided to give it a go. I was amazed at the huge difference it made!It really helped with the stress, anger and sadness I was feeling. Just take a piece of paper and a pen and write down anything that comes to min.It might feel a bit awkward at first but once you start writing, all those thoughts that keep torturing you will come pouring out on that piece of paper.The first time I did it, I ended up writing 6 whole pages of nonsense but God it felt good to get all that crap off my chest! After you have done that, try to eat something.Put the TV on just so that it's in the background and you don't feel like you're all alone in the house (avoid any romanitc movies like the plague!) This really helped me a lot, not only with managing to finally starting to eat but also with sleeping- I would write stuff down about an hour before I went to bed and it really helped me calm down and fall asleep.

Try not to think about the future too much right now.At this point you should just think about how to get through this, one day at a time.Hell, even an hour at a time. Just think to yourself: what can I do during the next 60 minutes that will help me feel a little better?It could be reading a book, going out for a walk on your own, or even watching a new series -try watching the UK version of Being Human (there are plenty of free links online);even if you don't like the plot, you will definitely like Aidan Turner-he is very easy on the eye! ;-)

Make a list of all the things that annoyed you about your ex, all the tmes he let you down and whenever you feel weak, go back to the list and remind yourself that he is not worth it. You can and will get through this. Everyone has been through bad break ups, when they think that they will never find true love again and that they will never get over this. But you will get over it. Be kind to yourself and accept that it is perfectly normal for you to feel like this right now but always remind yourself that this is temporary. It's a bump in the road and you will come out of this a stronger person and eventually find someone who will love you as you deserve to be loved! :-)

[Enchanté]

it took me over 2 weeks after my breakup before I felt like i could eat a full meal again, but I forced myself to eat at least something every day. Find a new tv show, or book series to invest yourself in, almost as an escape so you can get your mind off of real life for a while. Give yourself time to feel pain, hurt, confusion--don't ignore what you're going through, but eventually try to consciously force your thoughts to positive ones. Actually remind yourself over and over again that you're going to be ok, that all pain is temporary, and that you are worth it, and one day you'll find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Continually remind yourself of your value until you actually believe it.

and pretty much follow all of the advice everyone above has also given you. it takes time. and it may seem like a hell of a long time before you feel better. but you will. I promise.

[DarkHelmet82]

[QUOTE=Enchanté;743359]it took me over 2 weeks after my breakup before I felt like i could eat a full meal again /QUOTE]

It took me two months.. i lost 30 pounds.. but I forced myself to eat.. sometimes I threw up.. but It got unhealthy

[kamazaki]

dammit i know its hard but you got to start focusing on your self. Love is about 2 things the good and the bad, once we spend so happily with the good old memories and affections now comes the bad part of love, pain and suffering. Some people are lucky enough to not experience the bad part of love because maybe they are just god dam lucky or hooked up with their soul mate bla2 shit stuff. I used to believe that she is the one for me girl, so i gave her 110% but after 4 god dam years she dumped me for no reason. Can you ever explained that!?? Calm down and slowly get up from your fall, pick up that broken pieces and move on. Take your sweet time to move on because you got all the time in the world to recover from this shit. cheers girl ..

[Vanessa]

try writing your thoughts down before you eat.

Yeah, keeping a diary actually helps. I kept one for years, I've got so many I could easily make a book out of them. Dunno why I stopped, guess I've found new ways of calming myself down, but I know that after putting everything on paper I felt better.

Jesus, Dark, 30 pounds?! Wow.

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah it got rather bad.. I gained 10 back.. so thats a start lol... I didn't eat at all for a week. THen when I did it was very little. I just couldn't, i felt sick every time I did.

[Vanessa]

Yeah, I know what you mean, I get that too, not being able to eat for a couple days and then feeling sick just at the thought of eating, but I force myself to have something because otherwise I end up not being able to stand on my own bloody feet. Never lasted as long as to lose 30 pounds.

[Dank]

Time is your best friend. make the most of your freedom goodluck

[ash101]

I know how you feel I didnt eat for two weeks You will get to a point when you know you have to eat .I started to drink a lot of milk not ideal I know but its better than eating nothing!!
I split about 10 weeks ago from a partner of 13 years we also have a son of 5 who I see quite often but not as much as id like by far.

I know how hard it is for But trust me it does get easyer you might not thinks so yet but as the days/weeks go on you will start to feel better about it all.Try to just take things day to day and not look to far ahead.

Wish you all the best with it!!!

[OmnicronPercei8]

Yeah the lack of appetite was one of the worst side effects of my break up too. I think I lost 10-15 lbs over the last couple of months. It gets easier. Trust people when they tell you that time will heal.