I want to get my ex boyfriend back

[Louise150487]

Hi, my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and have lived together for 2. He left me abruptly 2 months ago,

the reasons he left were unclear for a quite a while and i'm still not 100% sure i know all the reasons now. Its been a pretty crazy time and ive made a lot of mistakes since he left. Mainly by acting irrational and pestering him. Needless to say its pushed him farther away and hes said some pretty harsh things. I.e we are never getting back together and to move on. When he 1st left there appeared to be some hope of reconcilliation but i think ive blown it by pushing things.
It doesnt help that we also work in the same building as eachother. We are still in contact slightly. Just odd txt msg's to say hi. I sent him an email 2 days ago to say that i've acted irrationally and i see that ive been pushing him away and im sorry. I said that i'd give him his space and we'd both get on with our lives.

i dont really know what next steps to take, he is quite a complex person and is not a talker. I'd also go as far to say hes not good at dealing with his emotions. Bottom line is hes shut off and i cant reach him. We did have a very good relationship but he said hes been unhappy the last 6 months as hes felt unappreciated amongst other things. He doesnt believe anything will change.

any advice would be greatly appreciated, i love this man very much and feel we've just lost our way.

Thanks

[Cerby]

Hi Louise,

Sorry to hear about your loss. This forum is about helping cope with breakups, not getting an ex back. There are a ton of high priced useless books out there that you can buy to help you not get him back. As for us, we'll give you advice on getting over the breakup, but you won't find anyone here who will actively try to help you reconcile your relationship. After you reach a certain point, you start to realize it just isn't worth the effort, it ended for a reason, and likely would end for the same reasons again if you got back together.

[Wakeup]

Sorry you're hurting... but:

we are never getting back together and to move on.

we are never getting back together and to move on.

we are never getting back together and to move on.

we are never getting back together and to move on.

Read that over and over and it might help you to accept that you and he are:

never getting back together and to move on.

Respect his wishes and leave him alone. If he changes his mind because he misses you then he'll be the first to let you know however don't count on him contacting you. Your goal should be to heal from this as quickly as possible so you're at the stage of indifference... particularily since you work with him. Accepting quickly that it's done will help you move to indifference much quicker.

[HeartIsAching]

Hi, my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and have lived together for 2. He left me abruptly 2 months ago,

It sounds like one of you has poor communications skills. Were you indulging in wishful thinking in regards to your relationship, or were you truly that oblivious?

the reasons he left were unclear for a quite a while and i'm still not 100% sure i know all the reasons now.

Obviously poor communication skills.

hes said some pretty harsh things. I.e we are never getting back together and to move on.

Was that harsh for the sake of being harsh, or because you weren't getting the message? It sounds to me as if he were being clear, and you were refusing to believe it.

When he 1st left there appeared to be some hope of reconcilliation but i think ive blown it by pushing things.

Was there really hope of reconciliation, or was that again something you simply wished for?

I said that i'd give him his space and we'd both get on with our lives.

Best idea so far.

i dont really know what next steps to take, he is quite a complex person and is not a talker. I'd also go as far to say hes not good at dealing with his emotions. Bottom line is hes shut off and i cant reach him. We did have a very good relationship but he said hes been unhappy the last 6 months as hes felt unappreciated amongst other things. He doesnt believe anything will change.

It actually sounds to me that he deals with his emotions quite well - he understands what it is he feels and wants, but you don't hear what he says, you hear what you want to hear.

any advice would be greatly appreciated, i love this man very much and feel we've just lost our way.

You've already said it. It's time to move on.

[that one guy]

I think this would help you to win him back <edited> I recommend it because it worked for me and to my friends.

Enough with all this spam sh*t. Trying to take advantage of heartbroken people and earn a quick buck? Piss off.

[sexyme1523]

Thanks 4 recommending that ebook, I buyed it yesterday. It's a detailed work thanks much! I really need a guide now because I want my ex boyfriend back to me 4 good! Thanks and I'll feedback soon If the e book works 4 me.

[that one guy]

Thanks 4 recommending that ebook, I buyed it yesterday. It's a detailed work thanks much! I really need a guide now because I want my ex boyfriend back to me 4 good! Thanks and I'll feedback soon If the e book works 4 me.

Piss. Off. Spammers. Good lord.

[sweetest]

i wouldn't bother trying to get him back.

It's really not worth the heartache.

You don't need to be in contact with him for anything, so don't. Cut off all contact asap. If he contacts you ignore him, he's obviously having problems letting go aswell. You need to show him that you've let go for good.

Have you ever heard the saying friends can become lovers but lovers can never become friends.

[dhiemhie15]

Thanks,sexyme and also to that one guy