Dating a single mom - advice needed

[vashti]

To be honest, I would be moving pretty slowly with you, unless you lost 2 of your previous wives to death. You are a poor candidate for a long term relationship, based on your marital history. This woman's child has already lost one family, and if this woman is a good mother, she won't be eager to drag her kid through yet another divorce, so considering all that, I probably wouldn't let you near my kids for at least a year, and very possibly more, dependng on how that year pans out.

And yes, you probably ARE a booty call, and she probably likes you, too. That doesn't mean she shouldn't want sexual exclusivity, and this isn't a game. YOU are the one who sounds needy and clingy, and like you are looking for some drama.

[HeartIsAching]

I kind of feel like this is exactly why nice guys become players. Honest and nice equals drama, clingy and needy. Play hard to get? Play the game? I guess, but that's not me

Nice guys don't become players. Occasionally it goes the other way around, but that'srare.

[BloodyWreck]

I guess honesty about each other's intentions is what it comes down too. Maybe she wants sexual exclusivity, but I can't do that based on this amount of contact. I was trying to offer what I thought she wanted. If I really thought she just wanted this type of exclusivity, I would not have been so 'clingy' and 'needy'

[vashti]

Why are you so impatient? What's your hurry?

[BloodyWreck]

I'm not in a hurry..I just feel like I have a lot spare time to develop something with someone who might give more attention. I like her a lot and have told her so. I'm just asking that she take a chance and not hide us anymore. I'm not asking daily face to face meetings.

[vashti]

I think you'd be better off with someone who can/will devote 100% of their time to you. It sounds like you need it. It might be best for you to avoid single mothers.

[BloodyWreck]

So...you'd be ok being exclusive with a single father who provided you with this amount of contact and/or attention?

[vashti]

Yes, but then again, I am a single mom. Our priorities are different than those of a single man.

[BloodyWreck]

A single mother seeking an 'exclusive relationship' as well?

[vashti]

A single mother seeking an 'exclusive relationship' as well?

Of course, if I plan to be sexual, I don't want to be sleeping with someone who is fuking other women... I'm too old to be dealing with STDs.

[surfhb]

LOL, I've already given her earrings and offered her $25K towards a downpayment on a house. Really. My divorce is final in November. If she's waiting on that, she should just say so. I'm in my own place. I've courted her. Bought her gifts and expressed an interest in meeting her child. I have 3-4 days off a week and honestly, being exlusive is ok if I get the attention I need too (i.e. texts, calls, emails, etc.) I really think she thinks the sex is keeping me around. Sadly, it is not and I will tell her that. I honestly like the idea of settling down and spending my time off helping her and getting to know her daughter better. I've told her that I am open to marriage but after 2 years minimum (I feel embarrassed marrying sooner). I have no problem living together or financially investing in this 'exclusive relationship'

Dude....are you for real? Stop with the marriages already. News flash!......Youre not good at it! . Just enjoy her company - relax and enjoy life

25k? Really man? Get your priorities straight

[Cerby]

25k? Really man? Get your priorities straight

Bingo, I saw this an immediately changed my opinion on the situation, wtf are you doing offering her 25K when the relationship is jammed with red flags? If I was dating someone with 3 failed marriages and after a couple of months, a few sexual encounters (well, lets call it one since two of those failed as well) they offered me a pile of money, I'd probably take off running. That would be too much going wrong too early for me.

Generally, if something doesn't feel right, it problably isn't. Trust your gut for once (again, calling out the failed marriages) and pull back from this one, find someone who you actually click with and don't force it!