how to keep the conversation going with a guy?

[milkshake]

Ok so I met this guy online Last month and we went to watch a movie. We text each other every now and then and we usually start the convo by asking each what we're doing. Sometimes he would initiate the conversation first and and ask me what i am doing or what I did this week and when I tell him, and thand sometimes there's no response until I change the subject or he delays his response. He responds more on online chat like Aim and Facebook chat but when I give him my response when he initiates the question, there's no response sometimes. He called me a slow responder couple times and I think he is a slow responder because he doesn't keep the conversation going like the other guys I have talked to.

I went out with this guy about 4 months ago and we talked a lot online and through the phone, but with him it's different. I noticed that I needed to keep the conversation going by asking him questions and then he will respond and everything goes pretty well and then the conversation dies again. I do not always want to initiate the conversation and ask him question because I know its really annoying. So I stop responding and then he says I am a slow responder when I don't say anything.... but he can't even keep the convo going.


Well we met each other 3 times already. We went to the movies twice and clubbing once with his friend.

I feel that it's easier for me to talk to his friend then talking to him. When he or me ask him questions, the conversation can get very long and we can just keep talking like we known each other for years. I don't know his friend very well either but we did go to the same school haha. I think I told his friend more stuff about me then with him. Btw his friend said that he wanted to hang out with me as well... =|

It is ok when we talk in person and there is a two-way conversation going but then I think I talk more then him and I don't wanna talk over him and talk too much.

Anyways he wants to go out with me again this saturday. I don't mind at all.

Do you think he is shy and nervous? Because when we went clubbing he didn't dance with me but his friend did. His friend is also shy too. He seemed a bit nervous at the club o.0

He's a very sweet guy and he did not want to go clubbing if I didn't go. Maybe because he was scared of talking to girls and asking them to dance with them. he didn't even ask for my number when we spoke online, but he gave me his. I gave him mines when I noticed that he didn't ask for my number and I needed to contact him about the date. It's like we plan to see a movie, I have to initiate the yes and he will go lke for clubbing. If I saic maybe, he says maybe. But this time he initiated that we hang out on saturday.

BTw, I hardly spoke to him this past 2 weeks because I am in LA and I don't have wifi to connect to the internet on my itouch to access the text app. But I did speak to him a few times on Facebook and we commented on the FB status.

[tmc92ic]

It's very possible that hes shy and not use to talking to girls. If you really do like him try to take the initiative, ask him to dance for example.


P.S. Dancing with his friend. Not the best of moves, would have made me a bit mad. Which is why he maybe took the initiative to ask you out on Saturday. It's sort of a push pull thing.

[Cerby]

Clubs and movies are both crappy places for dates, they don't facilitate communication.

Go out this Saturday, and go somewhere where you can actually talk to each other. Dinner followed by a low key fun activity like mini-golf, walk in a park somewhere, anything that keeps your attention on each other, and not on what is going on around you.

[milkshake]

i didn't initiate the dance with his friend... his friend appeared behiind me n i was like wtf?? n i stopped for a moment to turn around n it was his friend... i didnt even know wut to do... n his friend plans on hanging out with me too... I just joke around saying that i want to play with his ps3 n play games... since he lives one block away from me...

He told me that his friend and I look dateish... n i told him iono cuz then I only went out with him once n went clubbing with him. so i only really only met him 3 times the other guy one time but we been chatting online as well

[Yet another guy]

Not everybody is an amazing conversationalist. And when neither participant is, the conversation will die every now and then. Happens a lot to me.
You just need to practice. A shy guy like him is a great person to practice with since he can't do all the work to keep the conversation going.

[ctr916]

How about a hobby or common interest that you can both talk about and enjoy. It may not hurt to learn a new hobby that interests him or get him to learn a new hobby that interests you.

[devonbrown]

If he is shy, then he probably would like it if you kept talking. Normally people who are very shy actually enjoy being with a more open and talkative person because it takes some of the pressure off of them to hold up "their end" of the conversation. Don't worry about talking too much or talking over him. Just be yourself.

And I also completely agree that a date should be somewhere where the two of you can talk easier. Not a club or a movie or anything like that. Maybe a coffee shop and a walk or other things that Cerby suggested above.

Good luck.