did he stop loving me?

[Heart1985]

My bf and I have a long distance relationship. We've been dating for 8 months now and right now he's going to school. We've known each other for 10 years now and I know he's the one I want to be with forever. The problem is that being apart from him is really really hard for me. Lately it's been affecting the relationship because I get really emotional and I think it might be starting to turn him off. It seemed like we were fighting every other day about the distance and how it affects us. So finally about 4 days ago I realized I don't want to lose him, so I decided that there would be no more tears or resentment about the fact that he's not here with me right now. I'm even gona take a class at the community college starting in Sep to clear my mind. I feel like I'm trying really hard, but that it all might be too late.. We have a trip coming up in 3 weeks (its been 2 months since Ive last seen him) and it seems like I force him to talk about it, as if I'm the only one thats looking forward to it..Maybe Im just paranoid now, but he almost acts as if he's mad at me. The other night on the phone we were arguying over stupid stuf, like how he didnt like the show I was watching on tv. Im just afraid that he might not love me as much anymore..Did I push the relationship too far with my emotions? I just feel like at this point if i ask him I'll ruin the progress I have made..Did I terribly mess up..help?

[gingerindiana]

i think it is important to be able to openly ask those questions without pushing him away. and if it does push him away maybe its cause he feels the distance is making you grow apart ad talking about it would mean having to acknowlege what he doesnt want to admit he feels. another way to look at it (which for your sake i hope its not) it is possible that hes fighting with you and not seeming energetic about seeing you is that he may have found a girl at school. i had a bf that would cheat and always picked fights cause of his guilt. dont be afraid to be honest with your hunny. let him know how you feel. but dont accuse him or make it seem you already assume you know what hes thinking or feeling about your relationship. good luck hun.

[IndiReloaded]

LDRs are doomed to fail. Sorry but that's the truth. You might extend it a bit by fantasizing there is more substance than there really is, but I only know a rare few who survived the distance and they had been seeing each other for a long time before they were separated (and only for a defined length of time--not more than a year).

[bulrush]

I know what you mean. I get down also when my gf is away. She lives 2.5 hrs away. But I don't get so down I start arguments or get irritable. But everyone is different.

Well, you didn't put your age so it's hard to guess at what is going on. My answer depends a lot on the maturity of both of you. That said, you need to talk to him about how you are sorry your emotions made you irritable, and how you are trying to improve yourself. Letting your emotions control you almost always ends up badly. You need to admit to him you were wrong, that you still want to be with him, and that you will work on yourself to be better.

So, I don't know if you pushed him away, which is why you need to talk to him about this.

[devonbrown]

My guess is that if he is at school (i.e. college), he is starting to learn about himself as an individual and may be growing apart from you. He may care about you greatly, but it could be that he is starting to see the relationship as something tying him to who he "used" to be.

I think it is good that you decided to do things for you and try to take care of yourself. That is what you need to do. You might just discover that you are different than who you were 8 months to 10 years ago.

It is not always easy growing and changing and it is not always easy to see that in ourselves or those we care for. But it happens and we need to learn how to be okay with it and move forward.

Good luck.