Opinions wanted

[MaidenMinx]

Whoops should have clarified that shivers is a song....

WU, I'm only 31... I have often thought that early on set menopause would be a good thing. I'm currently late and definitely not pregnant so am off to the docs this morning. I'll be having a chat with her about that.

Keichi, the LAST thing I need is a joint. Spent waaaayyy to much of my life stoned and am currently pot free, have been for a while now. I have to keep reminding myself happens when I get stoned these days. I'm fine as long as who ever I bludge off is here with me... and then they go and I'm left alone with my paranoia. I only smoke socially now, like at parties (been a loooooong time since I've been to one of them) or on Christmas or NYE.

[Kiechi]

^ Good to know I'm not the only one who gets para on the stuff... Like I've always said, your mind is your own worst enemy.

[MaidenMinx]

I completely agree. If it wasn't for my over active imagination, my tendency to over analyse and my natural tendency towards pessimism, I'd be fine. :p

[Kiechi]

Scary isn't it? Sitting here at the grand ole' age of 23 and I feel as time goes on, the more I gotta' leave behind. I try to instill a positive outlook on life, but knowing the way I am I don't think I'll ever be able to. And that scares me shitless. Knowing that I'm not able to truly feel happy about things I should, I find it easier to not feel at all. I try to liken my emotions to that of a tap, something I can switch on and off. But losing all emotion on AD's is worse, as it's a waste of living. Because that's what life is about, feeling, emotion, experiences... I just wish I could enjoy them as much everybody else without the lingering feeling of hopelessness. Because sooner or later, I know I'll eventually succumb to it.

[maxmax]

Make of it what you will, but one of the best things you can do yourself is to nurture strength of mind.

If you fear what your own mind can do to you, you'll always exist in a state of anxiety or depression.

Easier said than done, but it's important to at least believe you yourself have the capacity to cope, and that things won't always be so overwhelming.

Meds on their own won't do that.

[Kiechi]

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snrWeLQJJWc&feature=related]forever love x japan with use english version - YouTube[/url]

[MaidenMinx]

Make of it what you will, but one of the best things you can do yourself is to nurture strength of mind.

If you fear what your own mind can do to you, you'll always exist in a state of anxiety or depression.

Easier said than done, but it's important to at least believe you yourself have the capacity to cope, and that things won't always be so overwhelming.

Meds on their own won't do that.

I don't fear what my mind can do, I feel like I am constantly battling my mind to try my best to prove to myself that I can cope. When I have a day like yesterday, it zaps my confidence in my self.

I know I am smart and strong and have the power to overcome anything.
I also know that I am stupid and weak and am susceptible to breaking.

I know these things completely and honestly and without reservation. It's hard living with a brain that constantly contradicts itself.

[MaidenMinx]

Scary isn't it? Sitting here at the grand ole' age of 23 and I feel as time goes on, the more I gotta' leave behind. I try to instill a positive outlook on life, but knowing the way I am I don't think I'll ever be able to. And that scares me shitless. Knowing that I'm not able to truly feel happy about things I should, I find it easier to not feel at all. I try to liken my emotions to that of a tap, something I can switch on and off. But losing all emotion on AD's is worse, as it's a waste of living. Because that's what life is about, feeling, emotion, experiences... I just wish I could enjoy them as much everybody else without the lingering feeling of hopelessness. Because sooner or later, I know I'll eventually succumb to it.

I do believe that the thoughts can be changed and the power of the mind is an amazing thing.

I also know how easy it is to lose it and feel like you haven't gotten anywhere.

I remember when I was 23. I was on a path to self improvement and was trying very hard to overcome the constant anger I was feeling. I was extremely volatile. People refer to short fused people, I felt like I had no fuse and the smallest spark would set me off. Nearly a decade later and I have atleast my anger under control.

You'll get there Keichi. I'll get there too.

[MaidenMinx]

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snrWeLQJJWc&feature=related]forever love x japan with use english version - YouTube[/url]

That was nice. Didn't read all the lyrics but I let it play all the way through.

Have a hankering for some Sigh now though. Early Sigh that is.

[Kiechi]

I do believe that the thoughts can be changed and the power of the mind is an amazing thing.

I also know how easy it is to lose it and feel like you haven't gotten anywhere.

I remember when I was 23. I was on a path to self improvement and was trying very hard to overcome the constant anger I was feeling. I was extremely volatile. People refer to short fused people, I felt like I had no fuse and the smallest spark would set me off. Nearly a decade later and I have atleast my anger under control.

You'll get there Keichi. I'll get there too.

Hopefully. If not, I'll see you on the otherside, yo.

P.S - What's "Sigh"?

[MaidenMinx]

Sigh is a Japanese avant-garde metal band. They are awesome.

[syrup]

If they help and things just keep getting worse you need to get back on them. You know yourself better than anyone so if you think you should continue taking your meds then you need to.

[reetmmy]

If you fear what your own mind can do to you, you'll always exist in a state of anxiety or depression.

[Lovehelper]

You know what they say... too much of anything is bad.

[MaidenMinx]

Well, I'm still anti-depressant free and have found a new counselor. I realised that I'm not depressed, I'm just really really bored. I found a homeopathic remedy to help stabilise my moods. I also was informed that because I started experimenting with substances at such a young age I have permanently ****ed with my brain chemistry and will probably never be 'normal'. I was also informed that the same substance abuse has left me a li'l developmentally delayed.

On top of all this I had an unexplained seizure 3 weeks ago. I think it was linked to energy drinks.