guysssss please help!

[outofbound11]

So i've had this friend Eddy for awhile, we met in high school my sophomore yr and have a lot of mutual friends. Sadly Eddy moved away to California the end of my sophomore year, but b4 he left, i could tell we had feelings for each other. The day b4 eddy left to move to CA, we had our first kiss which was amazinggg. Eddy and i kept in close contact for about a year, and he'd come back to visit every summer about. We sadly feel out of contact after my Junior yr in high school, but during my senior yr i found out he was dating this girl in my class. They dated for about 2 months and then called it quits. He then started dating this other girl in CA, and that relationship was for about 2 yrs. They just broke up about 7 months ago. I am now a junior in College and, Eddy is now back in town ( been about 2 months he's been here) and i had texted him to see how he was and to let him know that i would love to see him. We ended up going to a party a few days later and had a great time ( every party we've been to in the past month he's been by me all night, getting me things, asking me if i am okay, walking me out to my car once it's time for me to go etc.) The first time we saw each other about a month ago we had a 2nd kiss which was amazing. You could definitely tell that feelings were still there. The next night we went to another party and we started making out in my car (no sex, just kissing) and i ended up telling him how i felt about him b4 he had left for CA. He proceeds by telling me that he had no idea i felt that way about him, and how the feelings were mutual. A few minutes later he stops kissing me and says "lets just be friends" " you are to good for me". It was completely out of the blue he said that, but i just went along with it. That very next day he asks me out to the movies. I go and he ends up paying for every thing, put his arm around me in theater, and we made out a lot that night. We recently went to the city with a bunch of friends, and the whole day he was glued to my side. He asked to pay for my meal, asked to pay really for every thing. Our friends think we are dating, but we definitely are not! I can really tell this guy likes me, he stares at me all the time and smiles, and gosh he just melts my heart. I've never found a guy like Eddy. A complete shy gentleman. He told every one once he got here that he was staying here to go to school, now a month later, he's saying he may have to go back to CA next month. Could this be why he wont make any thing of "us" ? I'm just so confused as to what is going on with us. I refuse to ask, because he told me out of the blue " lets just be friends" this was about a month ago, but he doesn't act or treat me like he just wants to be friends. Some one please help me figure out what's going on! Thanks

[Wakeup]

i ended up telling him how i felt about him b4 he had left for CA. He proceeds by telling me that he had no idea i felt that way about him, and how the feelings were mutual. A few minutes later he stops kissing me and says "lets just be friends" " you are to good for me".

As I said in your other thread.. take his words at face value and don't have sex with him until you have a convo with him (BEFORE any type of sex) that you want a full blown relationship with a guy and you don't do friends with benefits. You already have feelings for this guy and if you settle for just being a fk buddy or FWB, you will lose your joy knowing that he is not committed and has zero strings attached to the sex with you. Don't mistake is lust (or even his kindness and attention) for love. If he loved you he wouldn't say "lets just be friends."

[thundersw]

He just wants to spend some time when he's with you, nothing serious.
Probably he wants some benefits too...

[outofbound11]

Yeah, you are definitely right. This is why i haven't and refuse to have sex with him. I have told him to his face to that i wont be having sex with him, i'm not like that. He accepted and said it was totally fine. I just get thrown off by how he is such a gentlemen to me. Like he treats me like i'm his gf. But i guess it's to reel me in, lol.

[Wakeup]

Take the kindness and platonic friendship that he offers but don't let your emotions get you all confuddled. You can distance yourself emotionally if you don't let him do bonding ritual and date type things with you. If you hang out one-on-one don't let him get flirty or touchy feely and call him on his shit. A simple "people who are only "friends" don't do that kinda shit, buddy. Make up your mind will ya?" (followed by a shit ass grin). Keeping things neutral and yourself blaise' to his "game" Will allow YOU to maintain your emotional well being.

Good on you for being a smart, girl with a heap of self-worth. It's nice to hear.

[outofbound11]

lol! you are funny, you have laughing over here with the "shit as grin" hhahaha...but yes you are sooooo right. Definitely taking your advice. Thank you so much for your help so helpful!

[Wakeup]

lol! you are funny, you have laughing over here with the "shit as grin" hhahaha...but yes you are sooooo right. Definitely taking your advice. Thank you so much for your help so helpful!

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