Texting another guy

[rogerman13]

Hey first post,

me and my girlfriend have gone out for a little over a year now. Things have been great up until this summer. She works 6 days a week so finding time can be tough, and when we do hang she usually is pretty tired. Admittedly I have been frustrated by that, but we have worked through it. Lately she texts a guy friend she has made at work. I know I am being jealous and I feel wrong right away. They text at least once every time we hang out together. I think the distance of not seeing her makes me even more hurt by the texting.
I told her that it was bothering me, and i tried to put it in a sensitive way (i probably failed) , but right away she got upset at me. She said it was ridiculous and if i couldn't handle it she would break off the friendship. I don't intend for that, and said its fine I would just like to know him. However since they are both working so much not one hang out session has happened all summer. It just hurts my feelings that one evening can't be taken out of their schedules or time can't be made. I will admit I am being jealous, and can own up to that. Its just been tough on me again with the distance and sometimes i feel like they talk to each other more than i even get to. I used to always play games with her iphone, but now she gets really sensitive when I hold her phone which in turn makes me more paranoid. I know she loves me and would never cheat on me, I just don't know. Am I being paranoid?

Thank you for taking the time to read this! I really really would appreciate feedback.

[loslobos]

from my experience.when the lady doesnt want you to touch her phone..shes hiding something.do you care if she looks at yours?if there is nothing to hide on the phone..there would be nothing to be sensitive about would they?

[Sonrisa]

hey, she is willing to break up with you for some guy from work. so unless their texts are about work, you are doomed.

[Vanessa]

from my experience.when the lady doesnt want you to touch her phone..shes hiding something.do you care if she looks at yours?if there is nothing to hide on the phone..there would be nothing to be sensitive about would they?

True. There would be no reason to get sensitive about it if she wouldn't have something in it she didn't want you to see, especially if she didn't have that attitude before. It doesn't have to be cheating, could be anything, but she's most likely hiding something.

[richardwordoff]

Sonrisa, I think he said his girlfriend said she would break up the friendship, not break up with him. Breaking up with him was what I thought at first, but I re-read it. However, if all he said is something like "it is making me uncomfortable that you're texting that guy from work" then it sounds like she overreacted. I was about to post my reaction to her saying she would break up with him if he didn't like it and this is what is is: if your girlfriend is texting another guy and tells you she will break up with you if you don't like it, that sounds like a perfect opportunity to tell her you're done with her and she can have all the time in the world to talk to her new "friend".

Moving on...

She hasn't made time to hang out with you once all summer? You said she works SIX days a week, NOT seven. She can't hang out with you on her off day? She can't take 15 minutes and eat lunch with you? A short dinner? Nothing? What is she so busy doing outside of work? When you are together she keeps texting her new friend?

You also say she acts "sensitive" when you have her phone, I assume this means she acts nervous? She is up to something. Maybe she is scared that guy will ask her out over text message and you'll see it. Maybe she has been talking to someone else about private, potentially embarrassing stuff. Maybe she is flirting back and forth with that guy right in front of you. No matter what it is, she is hiding something.

"I know she loves me and would never cheat on me, I just don't know. Am I being paranoid?" Don't ever make this assumption. You are pretty sure she loves you, but you don't know for sure. Do people that love each other not make time for each other in 2-3 months during the summer? Do people that love each other generally freak out and tell you they'll quit talking to their friend if you "can't handle it" (basically insinuated you're being a baby and it isn't a big deal for her to text a guy from work while never making time for you)? Someone that gives a crap about you would have said "he's just my friend. I'd hate to stop talking to him outside of work, but I can see it is bothering you so I will stop if you want." No, you are not being paranoid. You are noticing strange behavior and you are being rightly suspicious.

Her texting a guy friend from work just doesn't sound right off the bat. I don't see anything wrong with them chatting with someone they know over facebook occasionally or talking when they're at work or something or even going out with a few other people as a group. To me texting is more of a private activity. What about this guy makes him such a great friend that she has to talk to him outside of work all the time? What could she possibly have to say it him all the time? Even more so, why can't she wait to text him until you two are done hanging out? Unless this guy is her gay best friend (which honestly if he was she would have told you that to defuse the situation) or one of her best friends since elementary school or something I see no reason why she is putting so much effort into this "friendship". Her being such good friends with a guy that is relatively new in her life is rather disrespectful of your relationship. Normally girls that have guy friends either only hang out with them as part of a social group or they talk to them when they're doing whatever they normally do together (work for example).

[Jason2]

Thanks for your post.

[mwahahaha]

I think you are right to be a little worried. This sort of pish needs nipped in the bud. If it was me, and some tit was texting my bird every 2 minutes, this is what i would do. You go round to your gfs work, when you know they are both there. Cause a big scene, and make sure this fckn romeo sees that you are a loose cannon who will kick his balls at a moments notice. This will have a 2 fold effect. Your bird will have a new found respect for you, and this "workmate" while probably shit his pants, meaning your bird will never go near him. carpe diem